Fighting Desire
by hummerhouse
Summary: As Leonardo struggles silently with changing feelings towards his brothers, Master Splinter calls upon Usagi to help discover his son's difficulty. What the Turtle's sensei doesn't know is that Usagi has hidden desires of his own. Adult themes, action sequences, violence, language, references to TCest brother loving brother , and Yaoi - not explicit.
1. Part 1

Fighting Desire  
part 1

At sixteen, Leonardo's world became a confusing kaleidoscope of change.

His mind and body, which he had held under such rigid control his entire life, seemed to be pulling against themselves. Leo understood perfectly that his physical reaction to certain stimuli was hormonally based; he was after all, a teenager.

Leo also understood that because he was a strange mutated being, his choice for dealing with his needs was very limited. He easily made the transition towards comprehending that his hand was just another tool to be used as necessary.

The problems began when his mind told him that was not enough. He fought those thoughts during meditation, willing himself to accept the reality of his existence and that fate was not something he could circumvent.

More and more though, the act of pleasurable and necessary relief became a burdensome activity. In the beginning, the touch of his hand and a few quick strokes took care of the painfully extended problem. In a short period of time he found that he also required mental stimulation in order to acquire a much needed release.

Once again he could only fault his mutation for the difficulties he began to have with that. It was the only conclusion he was able to arrive at when reasoning out what was happening to him. The time and effort spent to reach this logical conclusion did nothing to assuage his guilt. The guilt did not help with his attempts to push past what Leo could only hope was a phase.

In short, Leonardo was becoming physically attracted to his brothers.

He dreamt about them, waking to find that he was fully aroused. When he smelled their individual scent as one of them walked past him it would send him scurrying to the bathroom to relieve the sudden tension between his legs.

Touching any of them often led to an abrupt quiver of desire, wholly unexpected and unwanted.

Behind locked doors, Leo worked feverishly to bring himself off without thinking about them. He tried other mental images, women and men alike because he didn't define his own sexuality. None of them worked. He imagined every type of scenario; every type of kink that he'd ever seen or read about. None of that helped.

Into his mind would come unbidden the sight of Michelangelo's firm hips, or Raphael's flexing biceps, or Donatello's pristine plastron and a guttural cry would be wrenched from his lips as he leaped over the final hurdle.

Leonardo would pant and shake after each release. He would curse his weakness and his lack of control. He would lament his inability to bring the focus he was famous for into the equation. He would pray that his family never find out.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

For several months Master Splinter had been acutely aware that something had changed with his sons. Leonardo was withdrawn, his emotions masked even from his Father. Donatello was anxious, spending more time outside of his lab, yet jumpy when around the others.

Raphael's moods began to swing like a pendulum, prone to bellicosity and just as quick to fall into fits of dark depression. Michelangelo seemed perplexed and in need of constant company, shifting between brothers in an attempt to find one who would share their time with him.

As was his habit since the boys had grown older, Master Splinter had turned to the oldest for an explanation. Leonardo could not provide him with one, or would not; it was difficult for the aged sensei to determine that answer from his star pupil.

If they were suffering from a serious malady, Master Splinter knew that Donatello would have approached him to speak of it. His most intelligent son did not do so and that led Master Splinter to only one logical conclusion.

His children had reached the point in puberty where their hormones were most active.

He could see that Leonardo was being much harder on himself than the situation warranted. Master Splinter knew that his oldest was something of a perfectionist and the changes inside of him were causing him an overwhelming amount of stress.

There were a few things that offered Leonardo enjoyment, but none of them appeared to hold his attention. It was at this point that Master Splinter decided that Leonardo required something that he did not have on Earth. The company of a good friend.

As he had done once before, Master Splinter reached out to Miyamoto Usagi.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Leonardo-san," Usagi said happily as he stepped through the portal into his friend's home.

"Usagi!" Leo cried out in surprise, rushing forward to meet the ronin.

"It has been too long," Usagi told him. "How has life treated you since we last met?"

"Well," Leo answered. "And you? Do you still serve Lord Noriyuki?"

Usagi laughed lightly. "My position is quite unique for a samurai as Lord Noriyuki is both Lord and friend. It affords me many freedoms, for which I am most grateful."

Leo smiled. "One of those freedoms is finding the time to come for a visit?"

"Exactly," Usagi said with a bow.

"Usagi! Hey guys, Usagi is here!" Mikey yelled, racing down the stairs to greet their friend.

Don came out of his lab and Raph stepped out of his bedroom. Leaping to the floor below without bothering with the stairs, Raph reached their guest at the same time as Mikey.

"What, no Gen this time?" Raph asked with a touch of humor.

Usagi shook his head. "Gennosuke has undertaken the duties of elite bodyguard to Lord Noriyuki. He quite relishes his job. When travel is required, it is done in the most comfortable manner possible, he has a suite of his own within Lord Noriyuki's palace, and he never misses a meal."

Mikey laughed. "Where can I sign up?"

"I do not think you would find my world entertaining enough Michelangelo," Usagi said with a smile. "There we do not have television or microwave popcorn."

"And no baseball," Raph added.

Master Splinter joined them and greeted Usagi warmly. He quickly instructed Michelangelo to move in with Raphael and it was arranged that Usagi would have the youngest brother's room during his visit.

There were many opportunities for Usagi and Leo to be alone together in the following days. Usagi did not tell his friend that the visit had been arranged by Master Splinter. He could see for himself the changes in his kame friend.

Usagi kept his observations quiet until he was sure of what he was seeing. Three days into his visit, Usagi and Leonardo were alone together atop a building as they watched the boats out in the harbor. Both of them rested their arms on the low wall that surrounded the rooftop, enjoying the cool breeze that blew off of the water.

"Leonardo, something troubles you," Usagi said, turning to look at his friend. "You have been most amiable during my visit, but I can see that a part of you is withdrawn. If you need to talk to someone, I can assure you that I would never break a confidence."

Leo's eyes remained turned to the harbor for several silent moments and then he glanced at Usagi.

"I'm sorry for being a bad host, Usagi. Letting my worries affect your visit is unforgiveable," Leo said.

"On the contrary, you have been a most thoughtful host, Leonardo-san," Usagi replied. "I would like to think that I am friend enough for you to share your burden without a feeling of guilt."

Leo laughed lightly. "You are indeed a great friend and one with whom I would find comfort in discussing my troubles, if I could define them. Perhaps it is merely a phase I am going through."

"Phase?" Usagi asked.

Turning to lean his carapace against the low wall, Leo crossed his arms over his plastron and sighed. "Growth and change," he explained. "I suppose I'm feeling . . . restless."

"Ah," Usagi murmured, scanning the skyline. "This city is vast and holds much excitement, but it is of a type you are familiar with. In contrast, my life as a ronin is unpredictable and rarely safe. I enjoy my visits with you here because it provides a needed change. Might not the opposite hold true for you?"

That got Leo's attention. Looking hard at Usagi, he asked, "Are you proposing I come visit your world?"

"Why not?" Usagi straightened, standing tall as he observed his friend. "As you told me, most of your enemies have been vanquished and your family is well-equipped to care for themselves for a short period. Return with me to my world and travel for a time in my company. There are many dangerous duties that I perform for Lord Noriyuki and having someone I trust at my back would be most advantageous."

"You think to cure my boredom with adventure, Usagi?" Leo asked with a slight twinkle in his amber eyes.

"If the malaise you suffer is indeed boredom, then yes, Leonardo," Usagi answered. "I will also admit that my life is often quite lonely and your companionship would be most welcome. Gen no longer cares to relinquish his new found comforts to travel with me," he added with a laugh.

A thoughtful expression crossed Leo's face and Usagi waited. He had often thought of Leonardo during his travels and had frequently imagined what it would be like to have his friend at his side. They were so much alike that even though they were ninja and samurai, Usagi felt a deep kinship with the kame.

Over time he had begun to feel something more as well. If Usagi could persuade Leonardo to journey with him, then it was possible Usagi could find an opportunity to pursue those feelings.

"I will have to ask Master Splinter's permission," Leo finally said, "but I can't imagine his denying my request. I would enjoy travelling with you in your world, Usagi. I think it might be exactly what I need."

The friends smiled at one another. Behind their smiles lay two separate agendas.

TBC…


	2. Part 2

Fighting Desire  
part 2

Speaking to Master Splinter about leaving home to travel with Usagi had been easier than Leo had expected.

"Perhaps an opportunity to experience life away from your family would be advantageous to your growth, my son," Master Splinter said thoughtfully. "The challenges that Usagi's existence offers are vastly different than those you face at home. You understand this, do you not Leonardo?"

"I do sensei," Leo said as he kneeled before his Father, his head bowed. "I have begun to feel . . . restless as of late. I feel there is something I must learn about myself but I cannot find it in my meditation or my day to day life here."

"The demands of family and leadership have unrolled a deeply furrowed path before your feet," Master Splinter said. "It is time to step off of that path and into the unexpected. Only in that way will you truly learn the extent of your capabilities."

"Yes sensei, that is my belief as well," Leo said.

"How long do you propose to be gone, Leonardo?" Master Splinter asked.

Looking up, Leo answered, "Usagi has asked if I would spend three to four months in his world. He tells me that the rounds he makes of Lord Noriyuki's holdings takes about that much time."

Master Splinter nodded and inhaled deeply. "It is a long time. We will miss you, Leonardo. I will miss you."

"I will miss you too, Father," Leo said.

Having gained Master Splinter's permission for the trip, Leo then broke the news to his brothers. This was harder than he had expected.

"Four months?" Raph asked; his voice deep with hidden emotion.

"Why do you have to go?" Mikey demanded; eyes wide.

"I don't have to go," Leo explained. "I want to go. This is a chance for me to test myself, to learn my true mettle."

"Haven't we faced enough adversity? Don't you already know what your abilities are?" Don asked.

"I've faced our enemies with my entire family at my back," Leo answered. "I need to know that I can accomplish something on my own. I need to understand myself in order to be the best leader that I can be."

"But ya' ain't gonna be alone, you're gonna be with Usagi," Raph snapped.

"We'll be traveling companions, yes," Leo acknowledged. "His duties for Lord Noriyuki involve ferreting out enemies of the young Lords and those of the Shogun. Lord Hebi and his legions are still attempting to infiltrate Lord Noriyuki's holdings."

"Ain't Noriyuki got a damn army ta deal with that kind of shit?" Raph asked.

"The army deals with invasions," Leo said. "Usagi's focus is to prevent Hebi from recruiting in the towns and villages. He travels under a cloak of anonymity and thus gains entry into inner circles where an army can't go."

"It sounds pretty dangerous, Leo," Don said. "If something happens, you won't have any back up at all."

"It will be a challenge for my wits," Leo said with a smile. "It will also be a chance for me to fully use the ninja training I've acquired over a lifetime. Usagi is a samurai; stealth is not his forte. I'll be a useful weapon in his arsenal."

"You're looking forward to this," Mikey said. "You look excited."

"I am," Leo said plainly. "I love my family more than life itself and I'll miss you guys, but I've been feeling as though something inside of myself is lost. Maybe this will help me to find it."

"Well it don't feel right ta me," Raph growled sullenly. "It feels like a good way for ya' ta ditch us and go get yourself killed."

Leo looked at his brother in surprise. He had expected questions and possibly some anxiety over his proposed trip, but not this outright hostility.

"If you think I'm not capable of taking care of myself, then it's obvious I need this extra training," Leo said. "And I have no intention of 'ditching' you; you're my family."

Raph walked up to him and jabbed a finger in his chest. "Every time ya' have one of your mental pity parties ya' have ta go off somewhere ta find yourself," Raph said accusingly. "The rest of us get stuck back here at home wondering if you're okay and watching Master Splinter mope around. I'm gettin' sick of this shit, Fearless. Ya' got something gnawing at your guts why don't ya' open up and let us try ta figure it out with ya'?"

A quick memory of Raph pinned under him as they sparred, his gold eyes gleaming and a laugh filling his mouth caught Leo off guard. His brother's nearness made him suddenly feel warm all over.

Moving back a step, Leo swatted at Raph's hand, knocking it aside. "This is why, Raph. You blow everything out of proportion. We'd start out talking about why I don't feel completely whole and end up talking about how my feelings are making you angry."

"Guys please," Don interrupted. Looking at Raph he said, "Leo's going away for a few months, Raph. He's made his decision and arguing about it is pointless. We shouldn't let him leave under a cloud of negativity."

"We shouldn't let him leave at all," Raph retorted.

Leo felt his control slipping, becoming angered by Raph's obstinance. "Did you ever consider that might be part of the problem?" Leo snapped. "You constantly trying to tell me what I can and can't do like some petulant child?"

"Oh ho," Raph said, "you're gonna put this on me now. Am I too much of a burden for ya' Leo? Bein' the leader ain't such a bed of roses so ya' figure ta run away from your responsibilities? That gonna make your life better?"

"I'm not trying to run away from responsibility; I'm trying to learn to shoulder it more effectively," Leo said, completely exasperated. "Why do you care if I go anyway? You never agree with anything I say or do anymore. I'd think you'd be delighted to see me leave."

Raph became deathly still. "Ya' know what, Fearless? I am," Raph said; his voice an octave lower. "Go have yourself a fuckin' party. See ya' if ya' manage ta come back."

With that he stormed out of Leo's room and out of the lair.

"That went well," Leo muttered under his breath.

"Don't worry about him," Mikey said. "You know that's his defense mechanism talking. None of us wants to see you leave dude. The last time when you went to stay with the Ancient One was hard for us. We aren't used to being separated from each other."

"I know Mikey, it was hard for me too," Leo said, setting a hand on Mikey's shoulder. "But my time then was cut short. This is an opportunity for me to learn things about myself that I simply can't learn in my usual environment."

"We understand, Leo," Don said. "It's just that things around here have felt . . . different lately. Like we're all waiting for something to happen. It's making all of us uncomfortable. Surely you've felt it too?"

For a moment, Leo wondered if his lascivious thoughts were tainting the atmosphere of the lair. He thought again about how, even in the height of his anger with Raphael, he'd felt that quick flash of desire.

"I know I've felt a certain restlessness," Leo said quickly, shaking off his thoughts as though worried his brothers might see them. "Maybe we're all of us feeling something like that. I know that I need to find my focus and clarity, and I can't do that here. Staying here makes it too easy for me to fall into a rut."

"First time anyone's ever called me a 'rut'," Mikey remarked dismally.

Leo gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "I think I'll miss your sense of humor most of all, Mikey."

"Said Dorothy before she left Oz forever," Mikey quipped.

Laughing, Leo returned to pushing things into his backpack. "I'm not going to be gone forever, I promise."

"It certainly will feel like it though," Don murmured, watching his brother pack.

When it came time to leave with Usagi, Leo wasn't really surprised to find that Raphael hadn't come to see him off. It had only been a couple of hours since their argument, not nearly the amount of time Raph usually needed to stew over something before coming to terms with it.

"Take care of yourself, my son," Master Splinter said as he and Leo embraced.

"I will, Father," Leo promised.

Shrugging into his backpack, Leo shook hands with Don and Mikey. Mikey's grip lingered and Leo offered him a reassuring smile.

"This kinda sucks, Leo," Mikey said in a low voice.

"I'll be back before you know it," Leo told him. His heart flipped over at the look in Mikey's eyes but Leo resolutely retrieved his hand. "You two look after Raph, okay? Watch so he doesn't do anything crazy while I'm gone."

"Not going to miss that job much, are you bro'?" Don asked with a hint of a twinkle in his eye.

"I actually think I might," Leo said. "Just don't tell him I said so."

As he followed Usagi through the portal, Leo looked back towards his family. Mikey was waving at him and Leo knew that he'd still be waving even after the portal closed. The first qualms about his decision hit him and he hesitated before stepping through.

But then he remembered how Mikey's skin had felt under his palm as he held onto his little brother's shoulder; the muscles tight, the leathery skin somewhat soft and definitely warm.

Those were not the things he should have been focusing on when touching a brother. Leo knew he had to leave, for his own sake and that of his brothers.

He stepped through the portal and his world disappeared behind him.

TBC…..


	3. Part 3

Fighting Desire  
part 3

"Ah, welcome Leonardo," Gen shouted in greeting as he walked up to Leo and Usagi. "You didn't bring the Battle Nexus champion with you? You know, Michelangelo cost me a small fortune that day."

Usagi laughed. "You cost yourself a small fortune, Gennosuke. Your wagers are often too indiscriminate."

"Maybe so," Gen acknowledged. "But I still make money from them. So tell me, how is it you've come back with Usagi here? Is there some plot against the young Lord that I should be aware of?"

Leo shook his head, smiling. "Nothing like that. We were enjoying one another's company so much, we decided to extend our visit and give me the opportunity to travel."

"And to experience the sunshine without having to hide from it," Usagi added.

Gen looked from one to the other and smirked. He had the feeling there was something more here, but he wasn't one to interfere. At least not if it didn't involve a profit.

"Your timing couldn't be better," Gen said to Usagi. "Lord Noriyuki asked to see you as soon as you made an appearance."

The three friends began walking through the open courtyard just outside Lord Noriyuki's castle. Guards situated on either side of a small side entrance bowed to Gennosuke and Usagi as they passed out of the waning sunlight into the darker interior.

"Lord Noriyuki has received an updated intelligence report?" Usagi asked once they were out of earshot of both the peasants and the guards.

Gen grunted his affirmative. "More unrest in a town three days ride from here. The messenger was almost killed bringing the information to us. The roads have gotten bad again."

Usagi sounded grim as he said, "Lord Hebi still has many allies."

"Hebi is stirring up trouble?" Leo asked. "I thought the Shogun's army disbursed his followers and stripped him of his holdings."

"They did," Usagi said with a nod. "He escaped somehow and has been attempting to amass an army so that he might wrest control from the Shogun. It seems his greatest allies hold land that borders along Lord Noriyuki's. They of course deny any involvement with Hebi, but someone is paying men to harass towns and villages all across Lord Noriyuki's holdings."

"Lord Noriyuki is young and Hebi hopes to use that against him," Gen said. "He knows that Lord Noriyuki will try to handle the difficulties without having to request assistance from the Shogun. Hebi thinks that if he divides Lord Noriyuki's defenses he will be able to march on the castle against little or no resistance."

"It is a dangerous game Hebi is playing," Usagi said. "He must remain in hiding while directing this campaign for there is a large reward offered for his head. The Shogun would like it mounted on his wall as a souvenir."

Leo glanced at Usagi to see if he was joking, but the samurai's serious look hadn't wavered. Those dangerous duties Usagi had mentioned to him were beginning to become clear.

Gen pushed open a large door and ushered the pair with him inside. The room they entered was enormous; a long table dominating one end of it. At the head of that table sat Lord Noriyuki, his diminutive form almost hidden from sight by the numerous advisors who surrounded him.

The sound Gen made as he stomped across the room drew the young Lord's attention and his face brightened when he saw Usagi and Leo.

"Usagi! Leonardo-san!" Lord Noriyuki waved his advisors away and jumped from his chair with a smile.

"It is good to see you again, Lord Noriyuki," Leo said, bowing graciously.

"It is I who am most pleased by your visit," Lord Noriyuki told him. "Now I know good fortune will smile upon us."

"Usagi has been telling me something of your difficulties," Leo said. "Hebi is a dangerous adversary."

"He is most treacherous," Lord Noriyuki agreed. "Usagi and Gennosuke have beaten him at his game many times; he is no match for their skill. It will not be long before he shows himself and we will end this once and for all."

"Leonardo has graciously offered to assist us with that task," Usagi said. "He has been craving adventure."

"I was once told by someone very wise to be careful what you wish for," Lord Noriyuki said. "I fear that our troubles may provide more adventure than you are truly seeking."

"And I'm embarrassed to say that your problems may provide exactly the type of experience I am seeking," Leo said with a smile.

"Gen tells us you have word of new unrest," Usagi said.

Lord Noriyuki sobered, his countenance growing quite serious for one so young. "Yes, Usagi. One of my agents brought word from Famura that rogues have infiltrated the town and are recruiting all able bodied men into becoming soldiers. They are even pulling in men from surrounding villages and farms. Few come willingly; these rogues have threatened to bring an army into the town and destroy everyone if the people do not cooperate."

"Many of Lord Noriyuki's troops are deployed elsewhere," Gen said. "We cannot spare another platoon to deal with this situation; it would leave the castle vulnerable."

"My agent tells me that these rogues say they will burn the town if they see any troops," Lord Noriyuki said, looking at Usagi.

"Yes, it is another tactic to prevent anyone from leaving to report what is happening to them. The townspeople will not risk the lives of their families in order to seek aid," Usagi replied.

"This is being orchestrated by Hebi?" Leo asked.

"I am sure of it, Leonardo-san," Usagi said. "He grows bolder with each passing day."

"It's because he uses ninjas," Gen said just before he spit on the floor. "No offense, Leonardo."

"None taken," Leonardo said. "Perhaps the best way to deal with this is by using his tactics against him. A full frontal attack will get many innocent people killed, but if someone were to infiltrate his network it would be possible to destroy him from within."

"You are suggesting we use ninja techniques, are you not?" Usagi asked.

"Exactly," Leo answered. "We could become two new recruits in order to get close to Hebi's rogues and defeat them without having to fight any of the townspeople. They would then give us information that would help us to locate his other cell organizations and perhaps even Hebi himself."

"Although I fear my honor may not survive this ninja deception, it is an excellent idea," Usagi admitted.

Lord Noriyuki clapped his hands together in delight. "I too approve of this plan. It would be most fitting for us to defeat Hebi by the use of his own devices."

Leo thought again what had come to him the last time they had fought Hebi. Just as the giant snake was about to take Leo's head off, Lord Noriyuki had swept up one of his lost katanas and held it against Hebi's throat.

His show of bravery and his intelligence in choosing not to pursue the snake had made Leonardo believe the young Lord would someday become a great commander. Lord Noriyuki was proving once more that Leo's instincts were very good.

"Then we shall make it so," Usagi said. "Leonardo and I will travel to Famura and set things right. From there we will decide our next move based on the information we garner from Hebi's rogues."

"But not until morning," Lord Noriyuki said. "The sky is darkening and provisions must be gathered for your trip. Dine with me tonight and sleep well in a soft bed; it may be a while before either of you sees one again."

"Thank you, Lord Noriyuki," Usagi said as he bowed. "I will show Leonardo to a guest room so that he might freshen up."

Lord Noriyuki signaled to a servant to send the ministers back in as Gen, Usagi, and Leo left the room.

"I hope I wasn't too forward," Leo murmured once they were in the hall.

"No, Leonardo," Usagi said vehemently. "Your plan is excellent and I cannot argue its logic. I only pray that I do not have to don ninja garb in order to follow it through."

Leo saw the slight smile on his friends face and knew Usagi was teasing him.

They reached a long corridor along which several doors could be seen. Gen led them to one and pushed it open to display a modest bedroom dominated by a large bed.

"This one has its own bath and private chamber," Gen said. "That and a large bed are all a man needs, isn't that correct Usagi?"

The hint of innuendo wasn't lost on the ronin. His quirked eyebrow asked Gen what he was up to, but Gennosuke's expression remained bland.

"My room is just down the corridor on the left," Usagi told Leo, attempting to ignore Gen's look. "We have about an hour before dinner begins. I will come for you when it is time."

"Thank you," Leo stepped into the room and then a sudden thought startled him into turning around. "This . . . dinner. It isn't something formal that I need to dress for is it? I'm afraid I have no experience with that sort of thing."

Gen laughed and Usagi stuck an elbow in his ribs.

"No Leonardo-san," Usagi said. "There are no visiting dignitaries at the moment so the dinner will be quite informal. Come as you are."

_"Which is mostly naked,"_ Leo thought to himself as his friends pulled the door shut and left him alone.

Setting his backpack on the bed, Leo located the bath and splashed water on his face. Returning to the bedroom, he settled into a lotus position on the wide carpet and began to meditate.

At dinner, the group of friends was joined by Tomoe Ame and two of Lord Noriyuki's ministers, both of whom remained silent during the meal. It was a happy affair filled with good conversation, lighthearted ribbing, and the type of comfortable atmosphere that reminded Leo of dinners at home.

Afterwards, Leo and Usagi walked together back to their rooms in companionable silence. When they reached Leo's room they stopped.

"Will Lord Noriyuki be safe here?" Leo asked the thing that was uppermost in his mind. To him the young Lord still looked very small and vulnerable.

Usagi nodded. "His people are loyal and Gen and Tomoe Ame remain close at all times. You have seen how they will fight to protect him from harm."

"A ninja assassin may hide in plain sight," Leo reminded him.

Usagi smiled. "That is where Gen's close association with a certain group of ninjas has its advantages. He has learned much about a ninja's guile."

They bade each other goodnight and Leo went into his room. The covers had been turned down for him and he found that the tub had been filled with warm water.

Enjoying the luxury of a bath he knew he might not get to have for a while, Leo tipped the back of his head against the tub and closed his eyes. He wondered if his Father had any inkling as to the kinds of danger his oldest son had just volunteered to place himself in the middle of.

It wouldn't surprise him if Master Splinter had known exactly what Leo would be getting into. That thought gave Leo a feeling of great comfort; having a parent with such confidence in his abilities was gratifying.

Leo's thoughts turned to his brothers and he wondered what they were doing on his first night away from them. He hoped that Raph had calmed down enough to come home. It pained him to think that Raphael might decide to do something dangerous in order to burn off his anger.

The fact that Raph's actions would cause both Don and Mikey a great deal of anxiety made Leo feel guilty, though he wasn't sure why. Leo's leaving home for a short time shouldn't have sent Raph off into a rage and the blue banded turtle couldn't understand what was going on in his brother's head.

Just as unfathomable was how Mikey had clung to his hand as Leo prepared to depart. That and the deep, dark look that Don had turned on him as he was packing were so unlike the time he'd left to train with the Ancient One that it caused Leo some worry.

He was close to his brothers, very close, but they were still just _brothers_. It wasn't as though he were leaving his lover for an extended period of time.

It wasn't as though they were connected on that level. Not like the day dreams that Leo had been having about them. They were not and never would be committed to each other in that way.

Even as he intoned that private mantra, Leo slid a little ways down into the now cooling water and eased his legs further apart.

TBC…..


	4. Part 4

Fighting Desire  
part 4

Leonardo rose before the sun and modified his morning stretching exercises to fit the small floor space in his bedroom. Partway through his routine a knock at the door interrupted him and he found one of Lord Noriyuki's servants waiting outside when he opened it.

"Begging your pardon and with good wishes, Miyamoto Usagi awaits you in the stables. He bids you bring your things," the servant said with a low bow.

The servant stepped back and waited as Leonardo gathered up his backpack. Preceding the kame guest down the corridor, the servant periodically glanced back over his shoulder to make sure that Leonardo was following.

Leaving the castle, the pair walked on a long, winding path before reaching an area that smelled distinctly of horses to Leo's sensitive nostrils.

Bowing once more, the servant left his charge standing outside of a row of horse stalls. A moment later, Usagi appeared.

"Good morning, Leonardo," Usagi called as he approached. "I hope this is not too early a start for you."

"Not at all," Leo said with a smile. "It is my habit to rise early."

"I thought I remembered that about you," Usagi said, his eyes twinkling.

A pair of servants came from around the side of the horse stalls, each leading a saddled horse. Both horses carried large packs over their rear quarters and two canteens each strapped to the saddle horns.

The horses themselves looked worn and tired; walking with their heads down and with no lift to their gait.

"These horses, Usagi," Leo began, searching for words that wouldn't insult his host. "Can they make this journey?"

Usagi laughed. "Yes, Leonardo-san. Their looks are deceptive and they were chosen for that very reason. These are amongst the most intelligent and fastest horses in Lord Noriyuki's stables. They wear no brand so they cannot be identified. A pair of poor travelers would be suspect if they were to appear riding finer looking mounts."

Another servant approached them and presented a tied bundle to Usagi, glancing curiously at Leo before leaving.

"Our breakfast. I hope you are not averse to eating as we ride," Usagi said. "I would like to be on the road before the sun comes up."

They mounted their horses and Usagi led the way, following a faint back trail away from the castle. Leo figured out that Usagi did not want to be seen on the main road and understood that was part of the reason they were leaving under cover of darkness.

It had been a long time since Leo had last ridden a horse and it took him an hour or so to settle into a comfortable rhythm. He and Usagi talked a little as they rode but it was mostly Usagi familiarizing Leo with landmarks that they passed in case they should become separated. Usagi also talked to him of local customs and various clan loyalties.

Lunch consisted of fruit, something that could be eaten as they rode. Usagi was setting a fast pace for their trip, pausing only when it was necessary for either of them to relieve themselves or to lead the horses to water when they came within sight of any.

It was late afternoon and the pair had been riding in relative silence for a while when Leo felt a tingling sensation along the back of his neck. Without conscious thought he whipped out one of his katana and twisted in the saddle, swinging his weapon up in time to slice an arrow in two.

A loud yell from either side of the road just ahead of them made Leo and Usagi pull up short. Running towards them were easily a dozen bandits, all brandishing lethal weapons.

Leo flung himself from the saddle, pulling his second katana as he flipped through the air. From the corner of his eye he saw Usagi do likewise; the ronin landing opposite him with his katana and wakizashi drawn.

The marauders continued to shout as they drove towards the travelers. The horses, spooked by the loud noise and the running men, bolted.

Leo concentrated on the half dozen bandits coming from his side of the road, trusting that Usagi could handle the ones attacking him. Ducking under a machete, Leo spun and struck the assailant a hard blow to the back of his head, dropping him to the ground.

A quick split kick sent two others flying and then Leo caught a katana blade on the edge of his own. The man wielding it was a very large and strong cougar, the fur on his neck standing straight as he used the advantage of his greater strength to bear down on Leo.

Out of the corner of his eye, Leo saw three others coming for him and did the only thing he could.

Pulling his other arm back, Leo aimed the tip of his second katana towards the cougar's throat and drove it into him with all of his might.

The cougar's eyes widened; a gurgling sound escaping his throat as the life left him. Leo pulled his sword free, jumping aside as the other three attackers pounced at him.

As he turned to face them, Usagi rushed into the fray. Without hesitation the samurai sliced the nearest bandit nearly in half and brought up his wakizashi to block a blow from another man's weapon.

Leo leaped forward into the remaining bandit's path as the man brought his kama down towards Usagi's exposed back. The smell of blood filled Leo's nostrils as his body performed in a much practiced dance; lifting the kama up and away with one of his katanas, throwing his adversary off balance, and then slicing across the length of the man's body with his other weapon.

As the bandit fell dead, Leo spun around to see Usagi trading blows with his final adversary. A sound turned Leo's head and he saw the bandit that he'd knocked unconscious rise to his feet.

Starting towards the man, Leo watched as the bandit fled, running across the wide grass field without looking back.

Another movement drew Leo's eyes to the side and he saw Usagi begin to give chase, but after a few steps he stopped.

"Are you all right, Leonardo-san?" Usagi asked.

"Yes, I'm fi . . . ." Leo trailed off as he noticed that the field on Usagi's side of the road was littered with dead bodies.

Usagi saw the grim look on his friend's face and realized that Leo was unused to killing unless in the most dire of circumstances.

"I do not like to kill," Usagi said as he squatted next to a body and wiped the blood from his weapon. "It is a necessary service that I perform for Lord Noriyuki. If these bandits were to have survived this encounter they would have been emboldened into increasing their attacks upon other unwary travelers."

Leo bent down and followed his friend's example, sheathing his katanas after they were free of blood. Later he would give them a proper cleaning.

"Surely the one who we allowed to escape will re-think his career choice," Leo said, trying to come to grips with all of the death around him.

Usagi shook his head as he sheathed his katana. "No, he will not. He will choose another stretch of road or attach himself to a new group of brother thieves so that he may continue to plunder and kill the innocent. It is a path that he has chosen to travel and only death will remove his feet from it."

Standing, Usagi placed his fingers to his lips and whistled shrilly. From over a grassy slope came both of their horses.

"They are not only deceptively ugly," Usagi explained as he caught the horse's reins, "but they are also well trained."

He handed the reins to Leo and moved back towards the dead bodies. Leo checked over both of their mounts to make sure neither had been injured and looked around to see where Usagi had gone.

The samurai was digging through the bandits clothing; setting aside a pile of weapons, coins, and jewelry. He stood up and moved to the next one; repeating the process.

"What are you doing?" Leo asked.

Usagi didn't pause or bother to look up, although he heard the faintest touch of distaste in Leo's voice.

"Leonardo, these men have killed good people, many of them parents. The money from the sale of these goods and these coins will feed many of the orphans in the village we will reach before we get to Famura. The orphanage in that village is where this is destined. These men no longer need it."

Leo felt a rush of heat on his face. "I'm sorry, Usagi. I wasn't accusing you of doing anything dishonorable."

"I understand, Leonardo-san," Usagi said as he bundled the goods into one of the dead men's shirts and stood up. "This is a different existence than what you are accustomed to. I had hoped not to have to teach you one of the harshest lessons so early in our journey, but these men had different ideas."

Usagi strapped the bundle onto his saddle and prepared to mount. As he did so, Leo looked around at the dead men scattered over the grassy field.

"Shouldn't we bury them?" Leo asked.

"No." Usagi sat his horse comfortably and turned his gaze on Leo. "There are scavengers who will be attracted to the scent of death. They will take care of the remains. We dare not linger here for if this is but a small contingent of a larger outlaw band their brethren will soon attack."

Leo climbed into his saddle slowly. It felt wrong to treat the dead so cavalierly, but Usagi was correct; this world was different from his own and the code that he would be required to live by would have to be different as well.

"Let us go," Usagi said, turning his horse back to the road. "We have several hours of daylight left that we should take advantage of. I would like to be as far from here as possible when it becomes necessary to stop for the night."

Usagi received a nod but no answer from his friend. Leo's eyes lingered on the dead bodies for a moment and then he pulled his mount around to follow Usagi's.

As they rode, Usagi thought about what had just occurred. Leonardo was young and despite having numerous enemies and fought in countless battles, he was in many ways quite naïve.

It would be Usagi's duty to educate his friend if Leonardo was to survive their journey. Although Lord Noriyuki was also very young, he had been trained into his title and he comprehended the necessities that title entailed.

Lord Noriyuki had informed Usagi that he was to give no quarter to those who would prey upon the people who were under the young Lord's jurisdiction. The instances of banditry such as he and Leonardo had encountered had decreased considerably but it was still more rampant than anyone wanted.

With a sigh, Usagi faced the fact that he would no doubt reach old age with many tasks still ahead of him, if he survived for that long. Having a purpose to his life, albeit a violent one was all the ronin had ever wanted.

What Usagi found that he _needed_ was someone with whom he could share this existence. He had felt for a long time that someone might be Leonardo. Taking his friend out of the comfort of his home and away from his brothers was a necessary first step in trying to discover if he and Leonardo were compatible.

Usagi had a deep feeling that they were. He would have to move slowly and carefully over the next few weeks to learn the extent of Leo's experience with sex. From their previous interactions, Usagi was fairly certain that Leo had never been with anyone before.

That thought did not bother Usagi at all. In fact, since he would have to educate Leonardo in survival skills, Usagi decided that stretching his teaching duties into other areas would be extremely satisfying.

TBC….


	5. Part 5

Fighting Desire  
part 5

The rest of the day was uneventful and as the sun began to set, the pair of travelers located a place to camp. Together they gathered enough wood to build and maintain their campfire for the night.

Leo refilled their canteens in a nearby stream while Usagi prepared dinner. While waiting for the meal, Leo cleared an area for his bedroll, using his foot to loosen the sand where his hips and carapace would lay.

The sun had set by the time the pair sat down to eat. Leo was quiet, staring into the fire as he ate and Usagi wasn't sure if his friend was even tasting the food.

"If you are having second thoughts about this journey it would be quite simple to open a portal so that you could return home," Usagi said, breaking into Leo's thoughts.

"I suppose it does appear as if I was," Leo said quietly, "but I assure you I'm still just as devoted to this adventure as I was when we began."

"Even after today's unfortunate events?" Usagi asked.

"Yes." Leo set his bowl aside and stretched. "I came with you partly for a change but mostly to test myself. The aftermath of having to take lives is as much a test as the taking of those lives."

"When one lifts a sword one must expect to deliver death," Usagi said.

"Master Splinter has always tried to keep us away from that harsh reality. I wish I could say he'd succeeded and that today was the first time I've ever had to kill, but it isn't," Leo admitted.

"That does not make it any easier," Usagi said.

"No it doesn't," Leo replied. "My meditation helps me to bury the dead, but sometimes their ghosts still linger."

"It appears you journey with me in order to gather more ghosts," Usagi said with a hint of a smile. "I should have been more forthcoming about the dangers you would face. I am afraid the idea of your company overwhelmed my common sense."

It was Leo's turn to smile. "Solitude has a great allure when one spends one's life constantly surrounded by family, but I think I could understand how one might grow tired of it."

"Talking to my horse has never proven to be very rewarding," Usagi said as he laughed.

"I often feel that way when arguing with Raphael," Leo said with amusement.

"Your brothers were not happy with your decision to accompany me," Usagi said, his eyes on Leo's face. "As we were leaving I could see it in their expressions and in the fact that Raphael did not appear at all."

"They worry," Leo said truthfully. "We are always together; we train, fight, live and survive together. They're afraid that if they aren't watching my back, something will happen to me."

"The dangers here are very real, Leonardo-san," Usagi said. "They are also different from those you have experienced in your world. What we encountered today is just a small sample and I feel that I must explain my actions further so that I do not lose face in your eyes."

"You are a samurai of great honor, my friend. Our fight today did not diminish you in any way," Leo told him.

"The taking of life is not something to which you are accustomed," Usagi said. "During our journey you will find yourself faced with that decision on many occasions. Lord Noriyuki has given me these orders himself; I am to give no quarter to the bandits, renegades, and murderers who seek to operate within his lands."

"Even if they want to surrender?" Leo asked, startled by his friends revelation.

"It is at my discretion," Usagi said. "If they can be jailed where they can do no more harm, then I may make exceptions. Beyond that, I am to render them incapable of taking up arms against my Lord."

Leo's eyes looked past Usagi as he attempted to wrap his mind around what Usagi had told him.

Usagi watched him for a moment before he went on. "There are greater perils than mere death that you must be prepared for, Leonardo-san."

Turning his eyes back to Usagi, Leo said, "Isn't that enough?"

"If only it were," Usagi said in all seriousness. "Our enemies live by the basest of codes and their captives do not fare well. They favor torture not just as a device for gaining information, but as a tool for entertainment as well. Male prisoners are humiliated in the worst possible way; degraded and used like women in order to strip them of their honor."

Leo went completely still as he worked to process Usagi's words, his face blanching slightly.

"Are you telling me they _rape_ their captives?" Leo asked in a shocked tone of voice.

"I should have told you of this before asking you to come here with me," Usagi said, making his eyes meet Leo's.

"It wouldn't have mattered," Leo said slowly and thoughtfully. "I needed to do this. We will simply have to avoid capture, my friend."

"Saying so will not making doing so any easier, Leonardo," Usagi said.

Leo smiled slightly. "Fortunately, avoiding capture is an area in which I have much practice." The smile faded as Leo said, "I have always believed that those who torture their captives are the ones who have no honor; bearing up under pain or attempts to humiliate are things any warrior should be prepared for and neither strip you of your honor if you face them with internal strength."

Usagi needed to ask a question, but the delicate nature of the inquiry left him contemplating the wording for a few quiet moments. Leo watched him, knowing that his friend had something more to say. While Leo waited, he contemplated the way that Usagi held himself; his back straight even in repose, solid muscle obvious even under thick fur, ears up denoting alertness and the bright intellect behind his dark eyes.

"Leonardo-san," Usagi began, "have you any experience with _personal_ interactions?"

"In what way do you mean?" Leo asked, even though he was pretty sure what it was Usagi was asking.

"Physical pleasure," Usagi clarified. "The touch of another person."

Leo shifted, slightly embarrassed but determined to answer. "No. Not in the way you mean. In my world there are no opportunities for such a thing. We can't reveal ourselves to humans and the few women who have seen us usually scream and either faint or run."

"I am sorry to cause you embarrassment," Usagi said. "I would not have asked such a question if I did not need to know how serious it would be for you to become a captive. I should not have undertaken such a serious endeavor for Lord Noriyuki while you were visiting."

Leo sat up and pinned Usagi with a look of steadfast determination. "I won't leave knowing how dire this situation has become. I would rather face capture and any type of torture these brigands choose to mete out than to turn my back on my friends. You have done your duty and informed me of the dangers. Since I choose to continue with this mission of my own free will you are released from any responsibility for anything that might happen to me."

"I will still feel guilty should something occur," Usagi told him.

"I can't talk you out of that, just as you wouldn't be able to do so for me if something happens to you during our trip," Leo said. "We can't dwell on what might happen, Usagi. We can only make the best plans possible and rely on our skill and some luck to carry us through."

"It was luck that brought us together the first time," Usagi said, "and skill that kept us together. Since luck seems for have forged our friendship, we will rely on it once more."

With their understanding in place, the pair finished eating their dinner as they decided on a watch schedule. Usagi stepped away from the fire to find a good location to observe their surroundings as he prepared to stand guard for the first few hours of the night and Leo crawled into his bedroll.

Usagi glanced back at his friend and wondered, not for the first time since they had met again, what was bothering Leo. Master Splinter had felt that Usagi could glean the answer because of their close friendship, but so far Usagi had been unable to get Leo to open up to him.

Leonardo was much too good at hiding his inner thoughts; keeping them curled inside himself and not revealing them through words or expressions. Usagi would not pry; all he could do was to be available and willing should his friend decide to talk to him.

As Leo lay comfortably in his bedding he contemplated the forthcoming adventure with an eagerness he hadn't felt in a very long time. That simple joy made him think of his family; most particularly of Raphael.

Leo could not understand why Raph had been so angry about his leaving. Three months, four months tops were not an overly long period of time for him to be away from his family. It certainly didn't warrant the excess of emotion that Raph had displayed.

He hadn't even come to see Leo off. It had hurt, even though Leo had covered the stab of pain he'd still felt it. His hot headed brother resented everything Leo did when he was home, and now he resented that Leo had left. At times Leo wondered if Raph simply resented the fact that Leo existed at all.

The information Usagi had given him about what could happen to him concerned Leo more than he'd let on. It wasn't going to dissuade Leo from the journey, as he'd told Usagi, he needed this adventure. What he hadn't told his friend was that he needed the time away from his brothers.

Usagi had asked him about his experience; basically about how much sexual experience Leo had. It was embarrassing to admit that he had none when obviously Usagi was more advanced in that department. It would have been worse to say that he'd run away from home to avoid the sexual fantasies he was having about his own brothers.

The afternoon's encounter with the bandits and Usagi's revelation about how Lord Noriyuki expected them to deal with such people added to the sense of confusion that Leo had already been feeling. Setting aside the lifelong teachings of his sensei was going to be difficult and Leo found himself wishing that Don were with them.

Leo couldn't talk to Usagi about how Master Splinter had raised them, but he could talk about that to Donny. He could talk about almost anything with Donny, Leo realized with a feeling of happy nostalgia. Don was his rock; never judgmental, always intelligent and thoughtful, a good listener with a quick grasp of what Leo needed to hear.

Donatello had a way of boosting Leo's confidence and making him feel strong, even in the worst of situations. Leo could always count on Donny too; Don followed his commands without argument, doing exactly what needed to be done.

Leo thought about his genius brother and felt the warmth of serenity slide over him. Don was absolutely perfect in Leo's eyes, in every way imaginable. As Leo drifted into slumber he took Don with him, thinking how wonderful it would be to sleep every night with that olive green body draped across his own.

When Usagi woke Leo the moon was high in the night sky and all was quiet. Usagi rolled into his bed and was quickly asleep, wasting none of the precious few hours of sleep he was going to get.

Leo had been dreaming about Donatello when Usagi pulled him from slumber and the residual traces of the dream lingered as Leo took his turn at watch.

The dream had begun nicely enough; Leo and Don were sitting near a pond on Casey's farm, the warm sunlight filtered by the overhanging limbs of the trees that surrounded them. Don had laughed at something witty Leo had said and then Don leaned against him, his wide, sensual mouth begging for Leo's kiss.

Leo had succumbed to the temptation of the dream and pressed his mouth to Don's, stealing a kiss and also the breath from his brother. Don had put his arms around Leo to pull him closer, silently begging for his older brother to deepen the kiss.

The feelings had overwhelmed Leo and he'd pushed against Don, toppling his brother onto his carapace. As Leo crawled over him, plying Don with kiss after kiss, Donatello suddenly began trying to shove Leo away.

In the back of his mind, Leo knew he was dreaming and that his conscious mind wanted him to stop. Too aroused by the feeling of his brother under him, Leo ignored the nagging doubt and began to plunder Don's body, despite the younger turtle's protests.

Don's screams snapped Leo out of his lustful trance and he rolled away from his brother just as Usagi's hand touched his shoulder.

Leo's heart was still pounding in his chest as he looked across the foreign landscape. He knew it was only a dream and that the things in the dream symbolized himself, including the manifestation of Donatello.

Perhaps the earlier conversation with Usagi had influenced the violent nature of the dream, and Leo's thoughts about his brother had given Leo an alter ego to violate. The dream itself worried Leo more than how pieces had come to fit into it.

Were his desires growing to the point where he had to fight them in his sleep? Did he have to rape himself to deal with the overwhelming guilt of his feelings for his brothers?

The only thing Leo knew for sure at his point was that leaving home to travel with Usagi had been a very good decision.

Leo awakened Usagi early in the morning and they ate a quick breakfast before hitting the saddle. They had two full days of riding ahead of them before they reached Famura and the route would be full of hazards.

By noon they reached the village Usagi had spoken of and they went directly to the orphanage to deposit the goods taken from the bandits. The old woman who greeted them appeared to know Usagi well and insisted the traveling pair stay for a noon day meal.

Leo watched the children play as he and Usagi ate their lunch. The orphanage did not have much in the way of material things, but the children appeared happy and healthy. It didn't take him long to figure out that Usagi had 'adopted' the orphanage and was its primary patron.

As they were leaving, several of the children ran over to hug Usagi and one little girl shyly tugged on Leo's belt. When he knelt down, she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and then ran off to join her friends, giggling and staring back at him.

"I believe you may have a girlfriend," Usagi teased as they rode away from the village.

Leo grinned, feeling better than he had the night before. He had finally managed to do something good since arriving on Usagi's world; his stomach was full and his body felt strong.

Galloping down a dirt road on horseback under a blazing sun was exhilarating. Leo's face lit up into a bright smile; he could feel the energy thrumming through his veins, the weight of responsibility lifting from his shoulders.

Usagi was just ahead of him and Leo couldn't help but admire how the ronin sat his horse. His head was up, shoulders back; the joy of another adventure obvious in his entire demeanor.

The absolute freedom. Usagi's life had purpose as he served his Lord, but Usagi chose how he would spend each minute of his existence. He had no one to answer to about how he accomplished his goals, no one questioning every single one of his actions. No one fighting his decisions.

What Usagi did have was a strong horse between his knees, an open road ahead of him, and sharp swords on his side. It was a good life.

It was the kind of life that Leo could easily get used to and wish for himself. Was it wrong to dream of such a thing?

Would it be wrong of him to embrace it permanently?

TBC….


	6. Part 6

Fighting Desire  
part 6

The thump of a heavy fist hitting his door startled Donatello so badly he nearly fell off of his chair. Spinning in his seat, he saw Raphael standing in the lab glowering at him.

"Why does Leo feel like he needs ta be validated?" Raph demanded.

"Why didn't you ask him that instead of pouting somewhere when he was leaving with Usagi?" Don countered.

"'Cause I was tryin' ta figure out what ta ask him," Raph answered, stepping further into the room. "I was too pissed off ta think straight so I went for a run."

"You must have been furious," Don observed, "because you've been gone for hours."

"I should have told Master Splinter not ta let him go," Raph said, staring belligerently at Don.

"Don't take it out on me," Don said. "I wasn't too keen on Leo's leaving us either. As far as telling Master Splinter what to do, good luck with that."

Raph's mouth snapped shut but he didn't leave. After spending several hours trying to run his frustration out of his system, all he could think about as he turned to head home was that he wanted to talk to Don.

He knew Don would call him out on his behavior, but somehow when Don did so it didn't cut the way it did when Leo confronted him. Maybe that was the primary difference; Don wasn't confrontational, just brutally honest.

"Was he mad at me?" Raph asked.

Don knew he was talking about Leo, not Master Splinter and shook his head. "He wasn't angry, just concerned and I think a little . . . hurt. He kept looking towards the door like he thought you'd come to see him off at the last minute."

Raph crossed his arms over his plastron. "I couldn't do it; I didn't want him ta think I was okay with him leaving. Dammit, if he don't come back in four months, do ya' think Master Splinter will let us go after him?"

"He'll be back," Don said, frowning at his brother. "Leo promised to return and he always keeps his promises."

"What if he can't?" Raph asked. "What if something happens ta him and that damn rabbit can't help him? Would Usagi give his life ta save Leo's the way that we would?"

Don's look softened as he contemplated his hot headed brother. Outspoken, aggressive, stubborn, and stouthearted, Raphael was the ultimate warrior. He would rush headlong into battle with no thought for his own safety, seemingly undaunted by the worst odds possible.

Nevertheless, Raphael harbored a deep and enduring fear of losing one of his brothers. His fear was manifesting itself now; his worry and dread making him anxious and uncomfortable.

"If something happens to Leo, Master Splinter will know," Don assured him. "Usagi has already proven that he'll do anything it takes to protect Leo; he's both brave and honorable. You've nothing to worry about in that regard bro'. Usagi cares deeply about Leo."

"Ye~ah," Raph said thoughtfully.

The tone of his voice made Don glance at Raph sharply.

"You can't tell me you doubt that considering what those two have already experienced together," Don said.

"Those two," Raph repeated. His eyes narrowed as he looked down at Don. "Why ain't Usagi got a wife and family? He's older than us and by his age samurai are supposed ta take a wife."

"I don't think there is anyone to arrange something like that for him," Don said. "I'm certain he's been so busy trying to protect Lord Noriyuki that he hasn't thought much about creating a family. Maybe when the whole business with Lord Hebi is done, Lord Noriyuki will assist Usagi in making a good match."

"Or maybe Usagi will find himself an apprentice," Raph said, looking meaningfully at Don.

"Don't even suggest what I think is going through your head," Don said. "He and Leo are just friends. Besides, Leonardo is a ninja, not a samurai. Most samurai would not consider him honorable or trustworthy."

"Ya' think Usagi would care what other samurai think, especially if Lord Noriyuki condoned his decision?" Raph asked.

"What in the world made you start thinking something like that?" Don asked incredulously.

Raph didn't know how to answer that question. As much as he trusted Donny, some admissions just weren't possible for Raph to make. How could he tell Don that certain burgeoning desires were aimed at his own brothers?

It wasn't just one particular brother either; it was all of them. A quick glance from Mikey's blue eyes followed by his infectious laughter could send a flash of unwanted heat into Raph's loins. Don's soft voice as he read aloud from the morning paper would send Raph panting from the kitchen; desperate to make it to the bathroom before anyone saw the sudden bulge under his plastron.

Leonardo affected him the most. Maybe it was because the anger his oldest brother could bring out in him also pulled up his deepest passions. Standing face to face arguing with Leo, Raph would sometimes find himself staring longingly at his brother's mouth. He would forget what they were arguing about as he fought the need to simply grab Leo's biceps and pull his brother's plastron against his own.

He wanted to smash Leo's lips not with his fists, but with his mouth. Raph could visualize the entire scenario in slow motion; his tongue stabbing Leo's aggressively, Leo's frantic attempt to gain the upper hand as Raph forced him to the ground, and then how his brother would give in, letting Raph control him as no one else ever would.

The thought of his most private fantasy brought a shiver to his frame and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, trying to will it away.

"Are you okay, Raph?" Don asked with concern. "You haven't caught a chill have you?"

Eyes snapping open, Raph cleared his throat and said, "No, I'm just trying ta convince myself not ta be pissed anymore. Ya' know me, when I'm mad I'll say any stupid thing that comes into my head."

Standing, Don crossed the space between them and lightly touched Raph's arm before pulling his hand back. "Even though I know you won't take my advice, try not worry too much about Leo. At some point it will come to him that no matter where he goes he can't run away from himself. Whatever is eating at him and making him so restless will get answered eventually and then he'll come home."

Raph inhaled deeply through his nostrils as he tried to pull himself together, but the air carried with it Donatello's unique musk. The scent was as overwhelming as a strong aphrodisiac.

"Yeah sure, Donny," Raph growled, stepping away from his brother. "You're the eternal optimist, ya' know that? Make sure ya' let me know when ya' wanna touch base with reality, okay bro'?"

Turning, Raph stomped out of the lab. Puzzled, Don followed as far as the door and watched Raph take the stairs to his room three at a time. When Raph's bedroom door slammed shut, Don moved back into his lab, gently closing his own door.

He held the fingertips that he'd used to touch Raph's arm in front of his eyes, attempting to see the tingle that he could still feel. Seeing Raph angry wasn't anything new, but usually he had a reason. Don couldn't understand what he'd just said that could have aggravated his brother.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Raph leaped into his hammock and began swinging it vigorously as he attempted to quell the rising tide of desire that was burning his blood. He tried thinking about April, or Sydney or even Renet, but none of those women could pull his mind off of the memory of Don's gentle fingers pressing into his skin.

Or Don's smell which still lingered in his nostrils. If that scent hadn't overpowered Raph so completely he would have attacked his punching bag until he managed to wear the need out of his system. If he was more brave he'd tackle the problem head on; it was on the tip of his tongue to ask if he could share Don's bed.

Try as he might, this fight like so many of late, was lost before Raph could even double his fists. He felt like a complete pervert as his hand stole down to rub against the soft cartilage in his plastron, widening his thighs as his pleasure grew.

Shuddering, his eyes closed, Raph stopped fighting the inevitable. His hand quickly moved to plunder his own flesh and Raph's instincts took over as he gratefully lost himself to them. For a brief period of time, he pushed aside the guilt of thinking about his brother's in a sexual way and abandoned himself to the erotic imaginings that flooded his mind.

Donatello, bent over his drawing board or sprawled across a workbench as Raph stepped into the space between his legs. Michelangelo, lying back on his carapace on the couch, games forgotten and mouth open in silent ecstasy as Raph accepted all he offered.

Leonardo, pressed against the mats in the dojo, arms pinned and amber eyes challenging his brother, refusing even to whimper as Raph exerted the ultimate control over him.

"Agh!" Raph choked out as the images brought about the desired results.

Swallowing, Raph breathed through his mouth as he fought to control his beating heart. A tear of frustration leaked from the corner of his eye; once again he'd succumbed to the sick fantasies that seemed to have infected him.

Another moment and the afterglow of his release caught up to the exhaustion of running aimlessly for hours and Raph fell into merciful slumber.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mikey lay on his bed, idly thumbing through his comic books. Tonight they couldn't take his mind off of Leo's face as it had looked just before his oldest brother stepped through the portal and disappeared.

His door was partially open and he heard Raph's return as his brother slammed his fist into something. A low murmur of voices told him that Raph had sought out Don's company to vent his anger. That was par for the course; if Raph was going to talk to anyone about his feelings, it would be Donny.

Mikey would have liked to talk to someone as well, but his first choice was off on an adventure in another world. He wished he had asked Leo not to go rather than just mumbling about how he didn't like the idea of Leo going off someplace without them.

The problem was, what would Mikey have said when Leo asked why the youngest didn't want him to leave? Suppose he had blurted out, _"'Cause I have the hots for you like you were some chick and I wanna screw your lights out?"_

Afterwards he could have gone ahead and admitted to Raph and Don that he was having secret fantasies about them as well. What was that old saying? _'In for a penny, in for a pound.'_

Then all three of his brothers could have picked him up and tossed him out of the lair onto his keester. Maybe he could have talked Leatherhead into giving him a place to stay if the big croc wasn't too disgusted by Mikey's revelation.

After a bit he heard Raph dash upstairs and then his door slammed. Mikey wondered what Don could possibly have said to set Raph off again; such a thing was a rarity. Usually by the time Raph convinced himself to talk to Don he was halfway down the road to tranquility and Don's soothing nature would walk him the rest of the way there.

It was unnatural. That was the word Mikey had been searching for. Everything around the lair had been unnatural for a few weeks now. He would have written it off as just being him except that his brothers were all behaving out of character.

Leo with his sudden restlessness. Never in Mikey's life did he expect to hear that the master of focus and inner discipline felt so restless that he had to leave home to find himself. Don couldn't seem to settle down to work on anything for very long and Raph . . . .

Raph was more impatient than usual, given to outbursts of anger over absolutely nothing. Mikey missed the old Raph, the one who was in a good mood more often than not. The one whose anger was a quick flash fire that went out without smoldering. The brother who would succumb most easily to Mikey's need for someone to play a game against, or as a partner to skate the sewers with.

A sound from next door reached Mikey and he sat up to listen. After a minute he grinned, recognizing the churrs and low moans as an indication that Raph was dealing with another kind of frustration. Mikey could certainly empathize with that feeling.

The noises were starting to affect Mikey in a predictable way and the grin faded. There lay the gist of his problem; being horny was a normal guy thing, even if the guy was a mutant turtle, but Mikey's big difficulty was that he got horny thinking about his own brothers.

Like how the sounds of Raph pleasuring himself produced a mental image for Mikey that had him hard in seconds. It was so unfair that they each played a lone hand when it would have been so much more rewarding to be able to join Raph; maybe even pull Don into the room with them so they could comfort each other over Leo's absence.

With a heavy sigh, Mikey knew that wasn't going to happen in his lifetime.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The first full day at the lair without Leo was surreal. The three remaining brothers practiced under Master Splinter's direction, ate meals together, and tried to behave as though nothing unusual was happening in their lives. They failed miserably.

Master Splinter thought he might have begun to catch a glimmer of their malady and spent the afternoon in meditation, attempting to search inside of himself for the answer to how he felt about the situation. His sons were unhappy and their ki was out of balance, which had led him to tell them they could not venture out to fight their enemies when they lacked inner peace.

Donatello and Michelangelo took his directive quietly and with understanding. Raphael, as was to be expected, did not look upon the order with any favor. When he began to argue the point, Master Splinter had to resort to his harshest tone to put down his hot headed son's rebellion. He would rather have his son look at him with disfavor than to have his son die and not be able to look at him at all.

Night fell, the second without Leonardo, and all three brothers retired early, even Donatello. There were plenty of projects that he could have worked on, but he felt fidgety and out of sorts. Sleep seemed preferable to roaming the lair in search of the illusive thing that might calm him, so Don followed Raph and Mikey's examples and settled into bed.

Don tossed and turned for a half hour, his mind whirling with uncatchable thoughts. Just as he was about to give up on sleep and try to find a book that would hold his attention, a mental picture of Leo came to him and he felt suddenly calm.

The strangest sensation he'd ever had in his life settled over him; it was almost as if Leo was there in his bed, his arms wrapped tightly around Don.

The image was so vivid that Don looked down, half expecting to see forest green hands flattened against his plastron. Seeing nothing nearly made him sob, except that the feeling of closeness with his brother became even stronger.

Eyes closed so that he could hang onto the illusion, Don started to drift asleep. His body vibrated pleasantly with the warmth of his brother's skin touching him and then his lips tingled, much like his fingers had when he'd touched Raph.

Don rationalized that he was either having a waking dream, or that somehow his mind was connected to Leo's. If that was the case, then Leo had to be thinking or dreaming about him in the same way that Donatello had thought of his oldest brother.

Rubbing his cheek against his pillow, Don clung to the sensations that surrounded him with their power. Maybe Leo really was reaching out to him, seeking the strength and support Don willingly and lovingly gave.

If that was so, Don wished for Leo to read his mind and come home. Come home so that Don could give him everything Leo could possibly need, both mentally and physically.

TBC….


	7. Part 7

Fighting Desire  
part 7

Usagi and Leonardo stood before a low brick building that served as the city prison. They had just come from interrogating one of their prisoners; a process that had taken up most of the afternoon and into the early evening.

After four weeks of travel they were still unsure at times of whom Hebi's loyalists might be. The snake's allies had infiltrated deeply into many areas of Lord Noriyuki's holdings.

"Do you believe him?" Usagi asked.

Leo looked towards the small prison and shrugged. "Some of it, yes. The words felt right. Do I believe he told us everything? No."

"I too walked away with that assessment. He has confirmed much of what we already knew and given us little more. It seems he fears Hebi's reach more than ours," Usagi said.

"He's sitting in a holding cell receiving two meals a day," Leo said. "That is much more than Hebi would afford a prisoner."

Usagi cast a mild look at his friend. "These last weeks have hardened you, Leonardo-san."

Leo's mouth was set in a grim line. "We have seen the results of Hebi's rule. I have never looked upon such cruelty. Four weeks ago I struggled to deal with the concept of no mercy; now I understand why it is sometimes necessary."

Usagi glanced at the dusty road in front of them. "They do not stop coming, do they? The snake will continue to attack until it loses its head."

"We'll find him," Leo said with assurance. "All we need to do is to keep trimming away at his scales."

The last four weeks had been a whirlwind of adventure, danger, and chaos. Arriving in Famura in the dead of night, the pair had quickly discovered that Hebi's loyalists had a strong hold on the town. Most of the primary buildings had been converted into makeshift barracks for the reluctant 'recruits' and a stable on the edge of the town had been turned into a prison for those who refused to pledge themselves to Hebi's cause.

Usagi and Leo had presented themselves as mercenaries and their claims had been taken at face value because no one expected to see a samurai in company with a ninja. It was so unheard of that their masquerade as renegades was never questioned.

Both were careful to show only a fraction of their actual skills when put to the test; they could not afford to have their fighting styles recognized. Within a few days, they had been assigned the task of training the raw recruits.

It did not take them long to gain the respect of their charges. Unfortunately, the admiration that was shown Leonardo by the recruits was looked upon with extreme jealousy by one of their superiors in the chain of command. He was not only envious, he was suspicious as well; he did not trust the ninja.

As the man's insults grew more overt, so did the danger that he would draw unwanted attention to Leo. It had become necessary for Leo to face him directly and call him out for his aspersions.

With Usagi acting as his second, Leo met the man in a duel and was forced to kill him. The victory proved advantageous; the commanding officer in the town had watched the fight and was impressed by the kame's skill.

The commander, having no prejudices against ninjas, offered the slain man's job to Leo.

Leonardo accepted the position with the caveat that his trusted samurai colleague remain at his side. This demand was accepted with alacrity; the commander had discovered that while there were plentiful bodies in the surrounding area to draw upon as raw recruits, those with skill or intellect were scarce.

The new position placed Leo and Usagi high enough in the ranks so that they were privy to the plans that were being made. They were able to discover the command structure that Hebi had created and instituted from his place of concealment.

Beyond the town of Famura lay a larger city that sprawled across the borders of Lord Noriyuki's lands and those once in the possession of Hebi. Hebi's followers were deeply ensconced in the city and it was the primary source of funds being funneled into the smaller branches of Hebi's army, such as the one in Famura.

With the utmost caution, the pair of fighters handpicked a group of men and women who were deeply loyal to Lord Noriyuki and the Shogun. Plans were made and under cover of darkness one evening a small contingent overran the makeshift prison and released all who had been unjustly incarcerated.

The addition of those who were still in adequate shape to fight made for a force formidable enough to overthrow the towns invaders. Led by Usagi and Leo, none of Hebi's loyalists escaped, though the commander fought a losing battle against the samurai.

His second-in-command committed suicide before he could be questioned, but others holding lower ranking positions were apprehended and thrown into their own prison. Between what Leo and Usagi already knew, the information in documents recovered from the commander's quarters, and everything that could be gleaned from questioning the prisoners, the pair of fighters knew where they next had to travel.

Carrying papers that identified them as belonging within the ranks of Hebi's secondary command structure, Leo and Usagi infiltrated the city of Noda. With the assistance of a handful of fighters who had accompanied them from Famura, the pair wrested control of Noda from Hebi's warriors. Jailing those who were not killed outright in the ensuing battle, Leo and Usagi had spent several days attempting to discover Hebi's whereabouts by grilling their prisoners.

Although they had received valuable information about his base support and the names of other towns and cities that had been overtaken, the pair was no closer to Hebi himself.

Between them, Leo and Usagi installed a new government in Noda and gave over the charge of their prisoners to the new officials. Noda was a major supply line to Hebi's warriors and that was immediately cut-off. Usagi dispatched riders to apprise Lord Noriyuki of the situation and together with Leo they awaited the young Lord's orders.

Throughout those weeks and the hectic, often stressful whirlwind of his adventure, Leo thought often of his brothers. They each would have relished the fight against Hebi in their own way, and Leo spent sleepless hours imagining how they would have reacted to different situations.

Thinking of his brothers in this fashion brought back the deep longing he had for all three of them. It was much more than a physical thing; Leo was coming to understand how much a part of him his brothers actually were. Every breath he drew, every movement he made, and every new discovery recalled them to his mind and he began to realize that his desires were far, far beyond simple sexual needs.

"Come my friend, it is growing late. We both require a good meal and solid rest," Usagi said, almost hearing Leo's mental sigh.

The pair walked down the darkening street towards their lodgings in silence. Business establishments were closing for the night; merchants did not yet feel safe enough to keep their shops open, fearful that the return to normalcy would not last.

Usagi watched them douse their lights and lock their doors, feeling a bit of regret for what these people had been forced to endure under Hebi's rule. It made him more determined than ever to find the snake's nest and destroy him once and for all.

As the pair turned a corner to proceed down a side street, a petite and scantily clad figure detached itself from the shadows and called to them.

"If you strong men are seeking an evening of enjoyment, I can assist you, either singly or as a pair," the female offered.

"Thank you no," Usagi said quickly, hoping his summary dismissal would dissuade her from continuing her solicitations.

"How about you kame?" the female asked, launching herself at Leo and grasping him by one arm. "Your face is full of stress; allow me to unburden you for one night."

Leo stopped walking and carefully extracted his arm from her grip. He had seen hooker's proposition men in New York City, but had no experience with it himself. As enticing as the female attempted to sound, her proposal was unwelcome and so was having anyone attach themselves to either of his sword arms.

Usagi sensed his friend's discomfiture and remembered that Leo's experience with this type of physical encounter was nonexistent.

"My friend and I have no need for the company of a female," Usagi told her, his expression rigid.

"Oh, well _excuse_ me," she replied saucily, looking them both over from head to toe before flouncing back into her shadowed corner.

Leo had begun walking towards their inn while Usagi watched the female slide back into hiding. Moving quickly to catch up to his friend, Usagi saw that though Leo held his head high, the color on his cheeks had changed very slightly.

Usagi had seen his friend embarrassed before and understood the flush that suffused his face and neck. While he felt acutely the predicament that Leo had faced, Usagi could not help but think how enticing the hint of naiveté actually was.

Entering the inn, Usagi caught the eye of the owner and was waved to their preferred table in a dark corner away from the main influx of customers. Leo slid onto the wooden bench and sent his eyes around the room, his face now a normal hue and his expression once more cautious.

"My apologies, Leonardo-san," Usagi said in the softest of voices.

Leo glanced at him quickly; then returned to his perusal of the other patrons. "Why do feel the need to apologize?" he asked.

Usagi paused as the inn keeper placed two mugs of pale ale in front of the pair.

"A plate of something hot?" the inn keeper asked.

"And filling," Usagi requested, watching as the inn keeper nodded and strode away from their table.

Taking a sip of his drink, Usagi said, "For removing that annoying female by making allusions to your sexual orientation. It was an inappropriate remark."

Leo's lip twitched into a light smile. "It also got rid of her quickly which made it an acceptable trade-off. Besides, I really don't care what she believes about me."

"I could tell that you were bothered by the encounter," Usagi told him, keeping his voice low.

Leo shrugged before drinking some of his ale. "I've never experienced anything like that personally," he admitted. "I've seen it often enough on Earth, I've just never had occasion for it to happen to me."

"In your world you cannot walk freely out in the open," Usagi said, both as a statement and a reminder.

"I suppose I can put that down as another of the adventures I came here to have," Leo said.

"Turning her down does not qualify as adventure; accepting her offer would have," Usagi announced in a more blunt fashion than was normal for him.

Leo hid his reaction behind an implacable façade. "Maybe I would have if she'd evoked any interest, but she didn't. Mostly I found her offer to be . . . off putting."

"I too could not garner much excitement from her overtures," Usagi said carefully.

The innkeeper approached just then with two nearly overflowing plates of food. Setting them down in front of his guests, he signaled to his son to refill their drinks, and then left Usagi and Leo alone to eat.

As Usagi took a bite of food, Leo placed his mug to his lips and eyed his friend over its edge. Travelling in near constant company for four weeks, the pair had discussed almost everything imaginable. However, one topic they had both avoided was that of physical intimacy.

After Usagi had warned Leonardo of the dangers of becoming a captive, they had neither of them touched the subject again. Leo had admitted his inexperience, but Usagi had never mentioned anything about himself in that regard. Tonight's encounter made Leo curious.

Usagi noticed that Leo wasn't eating and frowned as he looked up at his friend.

"Is something wrong?" Usagi asked, leaning forward to speak in a softer tone. Their table was in a more secluded area of the inn, but they never took the chance they might be overheard.

"No," Leo set his mug on the table and toyed with his chopsticks. "May I ask you a question?"

Surprised at Leo's obvious unease, Usagi answered, "Of course, Leonardo-san. I have no secrets from you."

Clearing his throat self-consciously, Leo said, "Since the subject of sex has already been broached by that meeting on the street, I was wondering about your experience. You know I haven't any, but you didn't seem as disconcerted by that female's approach as I obviously was."

Usagi sat for a moment simply looking at his friend. Leonardo's fascinating eyes met his steadily despite the faint return of the flush that colored his neck. This was the Leonardo that his brother Raphael insisted upon calling 'Fearless' and Usagi understood why. It wasn't just his approach to a fight, an altercation, or a challenge; it was the determination that pushed him when faced with anything.

Swallowing a mouthful of ale to wet his throat, Usagi said, "I am not without experience, Leonardo, though it has been a while since I've felt the touch of another. You are of course familiar with samurai apprenticeship?"

"Yes," Leo answered. He was fully versed in the tradition of the seasoned samurai taking an apprentice to mentor and train.

Leo was also familiar with the practice of shudo, but he had never given any thought to Usagi in that manner. He realized he'd never actually known about how Usagi had come to be a samurai.

"As a wakashu I began training under a most powerful samurai warrior," Usagi began to explain. "He was quite gifted and extremely patient with me. I forged a deep bond with him; one of respect, admiration, and love. We enjoyed each other's company in every way, Leonardo-san. My Master was my life."

"I . . . understand," Leo murmured, sensing the depth of Usagi's devotion from the tone of his voice. "Something happened to separate you?"

"He was killed," Usagi said; his pain evident from the expression on his face. "Ambushed by dishonorable ninja and overwhelmed by their numbers, he went down fighting and took many of them with him. I had been sent on an errand by my Master and did not return in time to save him."

Pausing, the anguish of that memory gripped Usagi's heart and he closed his eyes in an attempt to master himself. He had never talked to anyone about that day, nor about the guilt he'd felt in not having been there to save his beloved Master.

"Usagi, I am so sorry," Leo said; his voice low and filled with sympathy.

"Do not be, my friend," Usagi said as he opened his eyes. "I avenged his death by destroying those who had killed him and those who had paid to have it done. Since I had already come of age, I was considered a samurai in my own right. Once the vendetta was fulfilled, I began to serve Lord Noriyuki's family, and then the young Lord himself."

"Was your Master married?" Leo asked, knowing the customs of the samurai.

Usagi smiled. "He was and had been preparing to choose a suitable mate for me as well. We never had the opportunity to complete the search and I was much too focused on destroying those who had killed him to do anything further about it."

"And afterwards?" Leo asked. His friend had obviously chosen a solitary life and now Leo wondered if perhaps his intense devotion to his slain Master was the reason.

"Though it has been expected of me to marry, I cannot bring myself to do so," Usagi said. "Having found and experienced love, I have chosen not to settle for less than that."

Leo picked up his chopsticks and took a bite of his cooling food, giving Usagi a few private moments to compose himself. It was quite a revelation to discover that his best friend had not only had a lover, but that it had been the older male he was apprenticed to.

"Maybe when all of this is finished and you've destroyed Hebi, you'll have the opportunity to find someone special," Leo finally offered.

"I do not know, Leonardo-san," Usagi said softly. "To be honest, I do not find the thought of feminine companionship to be appealing. I have thought that I would like to honor my Master by following in his footsteps and taking on a young apprentice. It would be more to my taste to share myself with someone who has a mind-set similar to my own."

The look on Usagi's face was unreadable as he studied Leo's reaction. For his part, Leo understood that Usagi had just admitted his preference for men; hence his apology for alluding to the hooker that they were _together_.

"I believe that someday you'll get what you desire most," Leo said, his voice warm. "You deserve to have the best of everything Usagi."

"Thank you my friend," Usagi said. "I want the same for you."

Finishing their meal, the pair retired to their room for the night. They could have had separate lodgings, but felt it was more prudent to stay as close to each other as possible. They were gathering enemies as quickly as allies, and it was less easy for an assassin to pick one of them off in his sleep if they were both in the same room.

With the candles out, Leo lay on his bed and contemplated the dark ceiling. His mind and body were both tired and he could hear Usagi's steady breathing from across the room telling him that his friend was fast asleep.

Leo thought of what he had learned about Usagi at dinner and felt a pang of sorrow for his friend. Losing someone that he cared for deeply was Leo's greatest fear and one of the reasons he worked so hard to be the best warrior and leader possible for his brothers.

What Usagi had said about wanting someone who completely understood him resonated with Leonardo on many tiers. He couldn't imagine trying to explain his life experiences and his code of honor to just anyone. How could he possibly forge a lasting bond with anyone who didn't and couldn't understand him on such a deeply spiritual level?

Possibly that explained part of his attraction to his own brothers; they already knew him more intimately than anyone else ever would. That 'brotherhood contract' in Japanese culture was very much a part of Leo's ability to empathize with Usagi and it was also his frame of reference when imagining his brothers as lovers.

Leo sighed and shut his eyes, trying to clear his mind so that he could sleep. Four weeks here and he was no closer to solving his personal dilemma. All he had done so far was find reasons to justify his desires and nothing to quash them.

Drifting off to sleep with his subconscious occupied by thoughts of his brothers, Leo did not hear the soft footfalls in the hallway outside of their room.

He and Usagi were both deeply asleep when the doorknob began to turn slowly and carefully.

TBC…..


	8. Part 8

Fighting Desire  
part 8

The opening door was nearly soundless as two darkly dressed men pushed their way into the room that Leonardo and Usagi shared.

One was raccoon like in appearance, a representative of the Tanuki clan, the other a Neko warrior. Other than being ninjas, the only other thing they had in common was that they were paid assassins.

The Neko lifted a finger to indicate the bed directly in front of him, the lump beneath the covers telling him it was the kame. Nodding, the Tanuki looked to his left and saw Usagi sleeping soundly in his bed.

Creeping forward silently, the Neko risked the tiniest rasping sound as he drew his katana. Raising it high, he slashed down at the unmoving form on the bed.

A flurry of feathers rewarded his effort and the Neko pulled his sword back as he realized it had not penetrated flesh, but instead some softer material. Grabbing an edge of the now severed blanket, he yanked it off of the bed and discovered the only occupant was a pile of pillows, now mostly disemboweled.

From behind him the Neko heard a choked sound and spun around.

The kame he'd come to kill stood in front of the now closed door, one arm around the Tanuki's neck, the other angled up along the assassins forehead where the kame had a tight grip.

To one side of them stood the ronin, his katana drawn.

A street lantern outside the bedroom window provided the only light source and the Neko saw the kame's unnaturally colored eyes flash dangerously.

"Who sent you?" Leo asked harshly.

The Neko's mouth compressed into a thin line. His partner struggled slightly, both hands prying at the muscular green arm that pressed against his throat.

Leo's head dipped in acknowledgment of the Neko's refusal to answer. With a sharp twist, he yanked the Tanuki's head sideways and snapped his neck.

Lifting his hands, Leo let the Tanuki's body slide down to the floor. Leo's eyes never left the Neko's face as he reached over his shoulders and unsheathed his swords.

It was Usagi's voice that next cut into the silence. "You will not leave this room alive if you do not speak. Your mission is done, surrender now."

"My Lord has a much further reach than you, samurai," the Neko ninja snarled. "No one betrays him!"

Lunging forward, the Neko slashed towards Usagi's throat. Usagi caught the sword with the side of his and pushed it off center, pulling his own back in swiftly.

The Neko barely evaded Usagi's blade, sidestepping as he pulled his katana around in a downward arc.

Leo had moved away from the fight, giving his friend room to move. He would not interfere; the Neko had chosen his opponent and the fight would remain fair.

With a quick twist of his wrist, Usagi slapped the attack away and then turned the edge of his blade, slicing up across the Neko's midriff almost faster than the eye could follow.

Blood splattered the ceiling and walls as the Neko's eyes widened in shocked surprise. Dropping his weapon, the Neko grunted and sank to his knees before falling onto his side in death.

Sheathing his weapons, Leo turned away from the blood that was pooling onto the floor so that he could squat next to the dead Tanuki. From the corner of his eye, he could see Usagi do the same with his own adversary.

A quick search of the ninja's garments produced a bag of coins and several detailed drawings. In two of them Leo found extremely accurate depictions of both he and Usagi. Another was the perfect likeness of the prisoner they had questioned earlier in the evening.

Usagi stood up, holding a slightly blood stained piece of paper in his hand. Stepping over the dead body, he held the paper down so that he could show it to Leo.

Rising, Leo took the paper and handed the drawings to Usagi. The paper that the Neko had carried was a detailed map of the prison.

The pair looked up at each other, complete understanding dawning on them simultaneously.

"He said no one betrays Hebi," Leo said.

At almost the exact same moment, Usagi yelled, "Prisoners!"

Dashing from the room in a full run, the pair flew downstairs and sped past a number of startled inn patrons. Outside they both ran as fast as they could, covering the distance to the prison in record time.

As soon as they were within sight of the building, they could see that the main door into the low structure was standing open. Drawing their swords, the pair pressed themselves one to each side of the opening, silent now as they listened for sounds from within.

Leo caught Usagi's eye before flicking a glance into the darkened interior. Usagi nodded and tensed, darting into the entry just behind his kame friend.

The first thing they saw was one of the guards lying sprawled across his desk in a pool of his own blood and entrails. Reaching over, Leo touched the tip of one finger to the blood and found that it had begun to congeal.

Usagi stood at the partially open inner door. In a voice that was nearly a whisper, he told Leo, "The key is not here."

Together they entered the main corridor which ran between eight large cells. The iron bars were still closed and secured on each, but the men inside were quiet for once.

A quick look told Leo that they were scared; death had stalked this room and they were not going to call for its attention.

At the end of the corridor was the door which led into the basement cells. That too was standing open and when they looked down at the staircase, they saw another of the guards sprawled dead on the stairs.

"I fear we are too late," Usagi murmured as he and Leo proceeded down the steps.

Leo nodded his agreement although his senses were on full alert. Rounding the curve at the bottom of the staircase, he immediately saw another dead guard lying near an open cell door.

Inside was the decapitated body of the prisoner they had hoped to pull answers from in the morning.

"Shell," Leo muttered under his breath.

Glancing around, he saw that the other three cells in the lower level still contained living prisoners and they, like their brethren upstairs, were frozen to near immobility with fright.

"Why did they not kill all of them?" Usagi asked quietly.

"They had a map of the prison but not a schedule for when the guards were changed," Leo said. "They had no way of knowing if they would be interrupted."

"They were paid to kill this man," Usagi said. "Unless paid for the others, they would not do additional work at the risk of being discovered."

"There were still the two of us to deal with before daybreak. They'd want to be far from the city when the sun broke the horizon," Leo reasoned.

Sounds of footsteps on the stairs drew them from the dead prisoner's cell. Standing ready, the pair relaxed when they saw a group of their most trusted fighters come into view.

"The inn keeper sent his son to wake us," one of the men told them. "He said two ninjas lie dead in your room. What has happened?"

"Treachery," Usagi announced. "Hebi sent assassins to slay this prisoner before he could betray the snake. Leonardo and I were to be their next victims."

"Hideo, double the guard here and then have some men remove the dead. You will need to send several to the inn as well." Leo issued the orders crisply. "The guards must be buried properly when the sun rises so that we may pay tribute to their honorable sacrifice. Burn the prisoner and his assassins; none deserve interment."

"It will be done, Leonardo-san," Hideo bowed briefly and turned back to the stairs, calling commands to the men who were with him.

Leonard and Usagi stood to the side as the dead guards and the prisoner's body parts were removed.

"Would further questioning of these other prisoners prove profitable, Leonardo?" Usagi asked, his voice low so as not to be heard by anyone other than his friend.

Leo stood with his arms crossed over his plastron and shook his head. "No. They weren't on the hit list which leads me to believe they have nothing of importance to tell us. Anything they might have said has been scared out of them."

Hideo rejoined them as Leo finished talking. "What do you want done with them?" he asked.

The unasked question was 'should we kill them?'. Leo had come to understand the need to kill in battle, but would never be able to take the life of someone who had been incarcerated.

Usagi saved him the need to answer. "They have strong backs; put them to work. There were many buildings destroyed when they began their raid on the city, it is only fitting they should labor to rebuild it."

Hideo smiled. "Good. We will let some of them dig the holes for tomorrow's burial. The ground is very dry and hard."

The three of them left the prison and moved out under the stars, enjoying a light breeze that both cooled them and took the stench of death from their nostrils.

"We will need to strengthen the watch until we hear from Lord Noriyuki's messenger," Leo said. "If his armies have not cut a large enough piece out of Hebi's loyalists, then we have to assume Hebi will attempt to retake the city. Its position as a primary point in his supply line can't be taken for granted."

"I will see to it immediately," Hideo said.

Returning to the inn, Usagi and Leo found the inn keeper and his son in conversation with some of Leo's men. Upon spotting the pair, the inn keeper broke away from the group and approached them.

"This is terrible!" the inn keeper said, wringing his hands. "I do not allow brawls in this establishment. My patrons do not like fighting and killing. Much business has been lost this evening."

Leo extracted the bag of coins from his belt and tossed it to the startled man.

"I'm certain this will make up for any losses you've incurred," Leo said, "and pay for us to change rooms. We'd like the one at the furthest end of the hallway, on the corner of the building."

Eyes wide, the inn keeper tested the weight of the sack and a broad grin stretched his face.

"It is yours. I will send my son upstairs to place clean linens on the beds," the inn keeper said.

When he walked away, Usagi signaled one of their men over to the pair.

"Hideo is strengthening the watch," Usagi told him. "The guards at the prison have been doubled. Tell the others that they must sleep in shifts and be prepared for another attack such as this. Have everyone partner up so that no one is ever alone."

Kai glanced at Leo who nodded. As Kai sped off, Usagi chuckled.

"You have a natural gift for command," Usagi commented, not for the first time.

Leo frowned. "I have to teach them to stop doing that," he said. "Your orders should be obeyed without hesitation."

Usagi's face still wore a slight smile. "I do not have the leadership quality that you imbue, Leonardo-san. It is only natural that in these most trying of times the fighters look to you for direction."

"You realize the implication of the drawings we found on that assassin?" Leo asked as he and Usagi moved to a quiet side of the room.

"I do," Usagi acknowledged. "We must assume that our likeness has been given to other Hebi followers."

"Our usefulness in a campaign of subterfuge is at an end," Leo said.

"Though I am proud of our accomplishments to date, I would not be telling the truth if I did not say I prefer a more frontal attack against our enemies," Usagi admitted. "Resorting to ninja tactics has left me feeling slightly dishonorable. No offence given."

Leo couldn't help but smile. "None taken. The memory of your pretense will entertain me for years."

Usagi tried for a serious look, but the corners of his mouth were turned up. "We will not speak of it."

When the inn keeper's son indicated to them that their new room was ready, the pair retired for the remainder of the night.

Morning found them at the prison once more. Despite agreeing with Leo and Usagi that the prisoners would be more closed mouthed than ever, Hideo had made another try at getting one of them to talk.

"They will not even tell me if they are hungry," Hideo said disgustedly. "I told them that their best chance for a long life was to assist us in destroying Hebi, but they haven't the intellect required to understand the truth of that."

"You have lost nothing in making the effort," Usagi told him. "Unfortunately, your words are not as strong as the actions they witnessed last night."

Before Hideo could reply, a young boy came running down the street towards the threesome.

"Hideo-san!" the boy cried out breathlessly. "My Father sent me! Men on horseback have entered through the gates!"

"Get off the street," Leo said to the boy and then turned to Hideo. "Lock down the prison. Have the men move into the positions outlined in the assault plan. Make sure they understand they are not to be seen."

"Hai!" Hideo said, sprinting to shout orders in through the door of the prison.

The sound of the door slamming closed followed his footsteps as Hideo bounded out of sight, only his voice leaving a trail as he called to the other men.

Taking a position that placed their backs to the sun, Leo and Usagi stood in the center of the street and waited. They did not have to remain in place for long as the sound of hoofs on dry clay and a plume of dust announced their visitors.

Usagi rested one hand on the hilt of his katana and turned sideways as they drew nearer. Leo's hands were on either side of his body, slightly raised so that he could swiftly draw his weapons.

"Gennosuke!" Usagi called out in surprise as he recognized the large form of the lead rider.

"Greetings Usagi," Gen said as he reined in his horse. Dismounting, he said, "And to you also Leonardo. Were you preparing to gut me in the street?"

"It has been a long and dangerous campaign my friend," Usagi told him. "We have learned to be prepared."

"So has young Lord Noriyuki," Gen replied. "He decided that his most trusted messenger should be accompanied by armed guards."

"Messenger?" Leo asked, looking at the men with Gen.

"Me," Gen announced proudly. Placing a hand to his mouth, he coughed meaningfully and said, "I was honored to accept the job, but it was certainly a long, dry ride."

Usagi smiled. "Perhaps a drink at the inn would satisfy your parched throat and assist you in delivering Lord Noriyuki's message."

Gen clapped him on the back and handed his horses reins to one of the other riders. "That is an excellent idea. I wouldn't turn down a bite or two of food, either."

Leo called to Hideo and directed him to take care of the new arrivals needs. When that was done Leo, Usagi, and Gen walked to the inn.

Seated at their favorite table, the trio waited for their drinks and food to arrive before proceeding to discuss the reason for Gen's arrival.

"Lord Noriyuki was pleased to receive the news that you had taken Noda," Gen said between bites. "The information you have been sending has helped his army immensely; many of the villages and towns you reported as being overrun by Hebi's loyalists have been purged of his evil. His men are being destroyed with less effort now that their supply line has been cut off."

"I am sure these victories have given him a greater sense of comfort, but you should have insisted he send a different messenger," Usagi said. "I do not like the thought that he is without your protection."

Gen waved his chopsticks in the air in a dismissive gesture. "You have been away for a while, Usagi. Tomoe Ame has become an exceptionally skilled fighter. Between us we handpicked Lord Noriyuki's body guards and I left them with instructions that the young Lord is to be watched at all times. Tomoe Ame even sleeps in his bedroom."

"That is good then," Usagi acknowledged. "I fear that even in full retreat, Hebi may feel desperate enough to attempt one final strike against Lord Noriyuki."

"Lord Noriyuki understands Hebi is quickly losing ground and believes now is the time for his army to deliver the fatal blow. Hebi's loyalists have been massing at the city of Chibiko and Lord Noriyuki has ordered that the city be cleansed of their presence," Usagi said.

Usagi gave him a startled look. "Chibiko lies across the border in Jeshtare holdings."

Leo remained silent during the discussion between his two friends. His primary contribution to Lord Noriyuki's plans had been accomplished and he was once more relegated to an observer's role.

"Part of Chibiko is on land within Lord Noriyuki's holdings," Gen corrected Usagi. "He has sent emissaries to speak to the Jeshtare leadership, and they swear that they are not offering aid and comfort to Hebi. They say that while they are aware of the Shogun's orders for Hebi's capture or death, they have received no plea for assistance from Chibiko and will therefore not interfere with the cities duly elected government."

"The Jeshtare have a clan connection to Hebi's," Usagi said, curling his lip in distaste. "They may claim to offer him no aid, but I do not for one moment believe the truth of that."

Gen snorted his agreement. "Den of cowards. Although they will not assist Lord Noriyuki, they have given permission for his army to march into Chibiko in order to search for anyone wanted by the Shogun for acts of treason. They don't want Lord Noriyuki to appeal to the Shogun himself with a request to force the Jeshtare to behave reasonably."

"Politics," Usagi said. "I am happy to be a simple samurai."

"I hope you haven't gotten too comfortable in this fancy inn," Gen said. "Lord Noriyuki has already sent a large contingent of his army to set up camp outside of Chibiko and prevent Hebi's men from escaping. He is hoping we might even find Hebi inside."

"We?" Leo asked, breaking his silence.

Gen turned to Leo. "That is the primary reason I am here. Lord Noriyuki requests that you take command of his army and lead them into Chibiko."

"He wants me to take command?" Leo asked incredulously. "I have no experience with leading an army."

"Your army with your brothers may be small, Leonardo-san," Usagi said, "but they are an army nonetheless and you have led them into many battles. You have as much experience as Lord Noriyuki's best men and the advantage of having fought Hebi himself once before."

"Lord Noriyuki trusts you and he trusts your skill," Gen added. "Chibiko is a fortress and wresting it from Hebi will require more than a direct frontal attack. It will require planning by someone with more cunning than the average soldier. Someone perhaps with a ninja's stealth."

They were both staring expectantly at Leo. Shifting on his seat, Leo took several deep breaths as he contemplated what had just been asked of him. It was a large request for someone his age.

"Gennosuke would not have come himself to bring this request from Lord Noriyuki if he did not feel the young Lord had made a wise decision," Usagi said as if reading Leo's thoughts. "I have had much experience in fighting our enemies by your side and I agree with their assessment. You have taken farmhands and turned them into some of the most excellent fighters I have ever had the pleasure to stand beside. I believe you can do this, Leonardo. I believe you may be the only one who can."

"If I agree to lead Lord Noriyuki's army, will his men willingly follow a ninja?" Leo asked. "The strength of any plan I might manufacture will only be as good as the men who must carry it through."

"They'll follow you," Gen said. "I am so sure of it that I would even place a wager on that as fact. Word of your achievements have preceded you. Some of the men you trained have joined Lord Noriyuki's army and the stories they tell have you standing ten feet tall and battling twenty men at once."

Still Leo hesitated. The lives of so many were being placed in his hands and the thought was nearly overwhelming. He had spent his entire life learning to be a leader; in fact, he was here with Usagi ostensibly to strengthen that skill. It was one thing to have studied every piece of military history he could get his hands on; it was quite another to be asked to put that to practical use.

Usagi leaned towards him, his dark eyes beckoning Leo's. "Leonardo, you will not lose face with any of us if you choose to decline Lord Noriyuki's request. You have already done so much more to assist us than we will ever be able to thank you for."

"I'll do it," Leo said, his eyes focused on Usagi's. "You are all my friends and your enemies are mine as well. I suggest we ready ourselves to leave in an hour and bring a few of our men with us. The rest should remain here and help the residents rebuild their own internal government."

"Very well," Usagi agreed. Turning to Gen, he said, "Finish your meal Gennosuke. We are going to pack our belongings and gather our men. We shall meet you in the courtyard in one hour."

Gen grunted. "I'm already missing my nice soft bed."

Leo and Usagi left him so that they could go up to their room. Once inside, Leo went straight to his backpack and began replacing the things he'd removed from it.

Usagi watched him for a moment before walking over to stand next to Leo.

Leo looked up when he realized his friend was merely staring at him. "Something?" Leo asked.

Nodding, Usagi said, "You do not have to do this, my brother. It will be more dangerous than anything we have faced together and although I know that Lord Noriyuki has asked it of you, I will not. When I told you that I believed in your ability, I meant every word. But this fight does not belong to you and I made a promise to myself that I would allow nothing to happen to you. Your brothers would never forgive me and I would never forgive myself."

Usagi's tone sounded different to Leo; it carried a weight that the turtle had never heard before. His friend's eyes seemed changed as well; they were dark and very deep as they fixed Leo with their gaze.

There was only a few feet between them and Leo suddenly noticed the warmth coming off Usagi's fur. It felt like a bright, sunny day; carrying with it the smell of clean air and summer breezes.

"You remind me that we are kindred spirits and then tell me this fight isn't mine," Leo said in a soft voice. "It is mine just as much as any battle I've ever gone into. Walking away would bring dishonor to my clan and everything we stand for, and even the thought of doing such a thing brings me shame. Nothing is going to happen to either of us; we will continue to do what we've always done, watch one another's backs and make strong decisions."

Usagi was silent for a long minute, his eyes never leaving Leo's face. The urge to reach across the small distance between them and pull his friend into an embrace was nearly overwhelming, but the timing for such a thing was wholly inappropriate.

"As you wish, Leonardo-san," Usagi finally said. "I will speak of it no more."

The ride to join Lord Noriyuki's army at their encampment outside of the city of Chibiko was a long one and they chose to ride through the night, stopping only once for a small meal and to give their mounts a short rest.

It was late afternoon when they crested a hill and saw the tents and men sprawled out in a field before them. One of the men who had accompanied Gen lifted a flag that sported Lord Noriyuki's colors and the small group rode in to the encampment.

Word of their arrival had reached the commanding officer and he greeted them warmly. If he felt any animosity for having control of the army taken from him he did not show it. Instead he bade Leo, Usagi, and Gen enter the command tent with him, sending some of his men out to lead the remaining riders to tents where they could sleep.

Indicating a curtained area to one side, he said, "These will be your quarters; I hope it is suitable?"

"It is fine Daisuke-san," Usagi said. "We have not displaced you I trust?"

Daisuke shook his head. "Have no fear of that. I am not particular about where I sleep, I am only happy when the opportunity presents itself. Please, tell me what you need."

"Have you any maps of Chibiko?" Leo asked. "I'd like to have as much information about the layout of the city as possible; if there is anyone here who has actually been inside I'd like to interview them. I also need to know our troop strength and their abilities. How many are seasoned men; how many are new recruits. Tomorrow I'll want the opportunity to review them and allow them to have the chance to see me. I need to make sure they don't really think I'm ten feet tall," he finished with a twinkle in his eye as he glanced towards Gen.

"It will be done," Daisuke said.

Leading the way to a long table, he quickly unrolled several large parchments which held detailed diagrams of the city. Bending over them to study the fortress like city which abutted a large mountain, Leo wondered what he had gotten himself into. Chibiko looked nearly impenetrable, and Leo knew it was going to take not only extraordinary skill, but luck as well to get inside the high stone walls surrounding the city.

Leo could hear the low murmur of conversation between the three who were standing next to him. He was very grateful to have his two friends by his side as he took on this campaign for Lord Noriyuki, but the knowledge that they were with him didn't help the small gnawing doubt in his belly.

Only a few weeks ago, Hamato Leonardo was a mutated ninja turtle living in the sewers beneath New York City. His greatest worries were to keep his family and friends safe, and to do as much good as possible without risking discovery by the outside world.

In that short period of time, he'd gone from shadow ninja to general of an army. Leo knew he had the undying loyalty of his friends and Lord Noriyuki's complete trust, but he would have felt more secure and confident having his brothers next to him.

Leo hoped he hadn't bitten off more than he could chew. He had promised his brothers he wouldn't be gone forever and he never broke a promise to them.

He would make sure he came out of this alive if for no other reason than that.

TBC…


	9. Part 9

Fighting Desire  
part 9

_ "Ya' know this ain't really your fight don't ya', bro'?" Raphael asked in a voice much softer than normal._

_ "This isn't something I can turn my back on. Hebi sent an assassin after us, remember? That makes it personal. He has to be stopped," Leo reminded him._

_ "So you're saying ya' need ta do this ta keep your own family safe?" Raph clarified._

_ "You are in my thoughts when I wake and remain in them until I sleep," Leo told him._

_ Raph reached across the foot that separated them, cupping Leo's cheek in one calloused hand._

_ "Then take him down, Leo," Raph said in a hoarse whisper. "You're the one ta do it; you're the best there is. I'd follow ya' into hell 'cause I know you'd get me out again. But ya' make sure ya' come back ta me, ya' hear what I'm saying? Ya' come back 'cause I can't survive without ya'."_

_ "I will," Leo murmured, pressing his face into Raph's unusually tender touch. "I'll always come back to you."_

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Raph woke with a start, his heart pounding in his chest. A frantic glance around confirmed he was in his room at the lair and completely alone.

His hand was still curled as it had been in the dream and he lifted it to his own face, the curve fitting his cheek almost perfectly.

Raph's breath hitched and he swallowed the low sob that threatened to escape. Moisture pricked the corners of his eyes and he blinked to force it away.

He knew from his dream that Leo was in grave danger; fighting for his life and the lives of many others. Trying to dissuade him from that course wasn't something Raph could have done no matter how hard he tried. He knew his brother almost better than anyone; Leo felt that his honor was at stake and that his cause was just.

Raph could also feel the doubt Leo sometimes had, not in his decisions, but in his abilities. It was that doubt that made him reach across from another world to seek Raphael's council. It was Raph who gave him purpose when he needed it, Raph who spurred Leo to be better.

Staring at his ceiling, Raph tried to quiet all of the feelings that touching Leo in the dream had stirred up.

Six weeks. His brother had been gone six weeks. In that time Raph had experienced aching need, raging desire, heartache, loneliness, resentment, guilt, and confusion.

The only thing that broke free to stand out from all of those raw emotions was that Raph needed for Leo to come home. Raph needed Leo to hear what he had to say; to hear Raph out as he confessed his love and his desires, because he was sick of hiding them from everyone.

Let whatever the fallout might be go ahead and happen, Raph didn't care anymore. The dream made him believe that Leo had left home because his own feelings were similar to Raph's and he was fighting them as much as any battle he might be engaged in on Usagi's world.

They weren't going to run away from those feelings anymore, Raph decided. None of his brothers.

Raph would hold his tongue and wait for Leo to return. Leo was the eldest; Leo was the leader. It was Leonardo's place to discover if Don and Mikey's strange behavior was because they too were experiencing the same kind of desires as Raph was having.

The same kind of desires as Leo's. Raph was sure of it. Fearless ran from nothing, but he would leave if he felt that by doing so he could find the answer to a difficult, life altering question.

Eyes wide and focused on nothing, Raph fought the urge to beg his Father to open a portal and let him go after Leo. It was not his place to do such a thing and Master Splinter wouldn't do it for him. Such a move would only raise questions as to Raph's motivations and those were answers Raph was only prepared to give to Leo.

His Leo. It had always been that way and it would always be that way. Knowing this, all that Raph could do now was to wait.

Wait and hope that Leo realized the truth and came home before something stepped in his path and stopped him. Something like the war he was engaged in fighting, or a samurai friend whose own intentions towards the blue banded turtle were questionable.

Raph's growl of frustration and need was swallowed by the darkness.

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Leo was fully alert when he woke, but the residual feelings from his dream still lingered.

Raph's touch in particular. Leo could almost feel the rough yet warm hand on his skin, passing along Raph's passion and his strength. Giving Leo exactly what he needed when he needed it.

His brother's appearance told Leo that it was time to change his approach to retaking Chibiko. Leo and his troops had effectively isolated the fortress city, cutting off all supplies and contact with the outside world.

They had been sitting on it for over a week; unable to get inside, they had been successful in stopping some of Hebi's men from escaping in their attempt to go for reinforcements.

Stopping them had required killing them, as none would surrender. Fighting to the death was apparently preferable to whatever fate Hebi would mete out if they were captured.

Leo realized now that his original plan to force them into giving up by starving them out was not going to work. He had hoped to spare innocent lives by avoiding a protracted battle, but it seemed that was now inevitable. The inhabitants of the city were starving along with Hebi's loyalists and since those men were willing to die, they wouldn't think twice about taking every living being within the walls of the city to the grave with them.

He had not simply played a waiting game either. While they stood guard against escape, they also scouted the area surrounding the city, and the walls of the city as well. His map makers had completed detailed, scaled drawings of every inch of Chibiko, using information from people who knew the inside of the city in order to provide Leo with a perfect diagram.

Some of the men in his company were skilled mountain climbers and he had instructed them to discover if there was an approach over the rocky face of the mountain that could be used as a way into the city. Numerous tries had yielded no safe passage in that respect.

Usagi was steadfast in his support of Leo's decision to go slow and so was Gen, although he complained periodically over the loss of his creature comforts. Many of the men in Leo's command had friends or family within the walled city and they appreciated their general's cautious approach.

Now it was time for caution to be pushed aside and a more bold plan of attack to be embraced. Leo had such a plan and he swiftly decided that today it would be implemented.

When he rose from his bed, Usagi found Leo bent over the maps of Chibiko. The samurai said nothing for a few moments as he watched his friend.

In the last week Usagi had seen Leo mature from a guerilla fighter into a potentially great commander. The change had not been without its price; Leo's shoulders and facial muscles were always taut, a testament to the tension in them. His amber eyes held the fire of intense concentration and were nearly always burning these long, tiring days.

These were things only seen by Usagi. Before the troops, Leonardo's poise exuded confidence, his commands sharp and purposeful. Each step that Leo had taken in the campaign thus far had shown a precision and level of understanding that men twice his age had never mastered.

The respect he garnered from the men was likewise astounding. None questioned his orders or decisions, not even in private. Those that had been closest to Leo and Usagi over the past weeks were steadfast in their loyalty to the off-world kame. His word was law.

Breakfast arrived, the interruption finally bringing Leo's eyes up from his maps. Usagi stepped forward then but waited until the youth who had brought their meal exited the tent before he spoke.

"Did you sleep, Leonardo-san?" Usagi asked.

"Yes," Leo answered, noticing that Usagi did not look convinced. "I slept well, Usagi."

"You were awake when I retired for the evening and here reviewing maps when I woke," Usagi said. "If one of your men were to do the same, what would you tell him?"

Leo grinned slightly. "To win this war quickly so that we could all get a good night's sleep."

"And if the war is one of waiting?" Usagi asked.

The grin faded from Leo's face to be replaced by a new expression of grim determination.

"Not anymore it isn't," Leo announced. "It's time to change tactics."

Usagi drew closer to the table with its burden of maps and looked down to see what Leo had been studying. These were the maps that detailed every meter of the giant stone wall which surrounded the city.

Without removing his eyes from the maps, Leo said, "We can't wait any longer; innocent people are going to starve to death soon. I'm going in."

The significance of his pronoun did not escape Usagi's notice. "You mean that we will be going in," he corrected.

"No." Leo looked up. "I believe I've found a way inside, but only a small contingent of men are going to be able to successfully gain entry."

Placing his finger on a spot on one of the maps, Leo continued, "This is a wastewater outflow channel. It cuts through the base of the rock wall to carry effluent out of the city. Embedded in the rock wall are the steel bars of a large grate. If I can work some of the bars loose, I can slip into this tunnel and make my way into the city." He smiled briefly. "I saw it done in a movie once."

Usagi lifted an eyebrow. "And in this movie, how did they remove steel bars from solid rock?"

"Actually, they blew it open with gunpowder," Leo told him. "Unfortunately, we can't do that. Our entry must be silent. I propose to take a half a dozen men with me. Once we affect an entry, we'll make our way into the maintenance building. I have no information about the structure, but from my experience with sewers, there is going to be a place where someone can access the drains to make sure they stay clear of debris."

"You may find that has been barred as well," Usagi said.

Leo nodded. "We'll deal with that in the same manner as we do the tunnel entrance."

"How exactly will that be, my friend?" Usagi asked worriedly.

"The nice thing about having a genius for a brother is that you learn a lot of tricks for getting into secured places," Leo said with another quick flash of his rare smile. "One of those tricks is how to make a fairly corrosive acid. I've had this alternate plan in mind for a few days so I gave one of our men the formula and had him mix up a batch. I also had the blacksmith create a 'come-along'."

Usagi frowned. "That term is unfamiliar to me."

"It's a type of portable winch," Leo said. "Usually you use a wire cable with it, but that isn't something that's available here, so we'll make due with heavy rope. We got lucky in that there are a number of large trees near the outlet that we can use to anchor one end of the rope.

"By pouring acid on the porous rock that surrounds the metal bars, we should be able to loosen it enough so that by tightening the pulley we can yank the bars out of the rock on one side. We only need enough play in them for us to be able to slip through."

"And you will use the same procedure if you should encounter another obstruction?" Usagi asked.

"Exactly," Leo answered. "The process is completely silent and unless someone leans over the wall above us at the exact moment we're there, we shouldn't be observed. That's one of the reasons I only want to take a small group with me; with anymore men we'd be seen approaching the wall. With these few men we can cut through the grove of trees unseen until we're right at the grate."

"Once you are inside, what do you propose to do? A force of seven, even considering one of them is you, cannot possibly destroy Hebi's loyalists unaided," Usagi pointed out.

"We aren't going to engage the enemy," Leo said. "We're going to open the gate so that you and Lord Noriyuki's army can do so."

"Your army," Usagi corrected him. "What you are proposing is quite bold and very dangerous Leonardo-san. If you are seen before you reach the gate, you will be trapped by Hebi's men. Even if you reach the gate, opening it will draw all of them to you and they will cut you down just before they slam the gate in our faces."

"I've considered that," Leo said. "If there weren't so many innocent civilians inside I would try to blow the gate open with explosives. I am going to strive for as few casualties amongst the cities inhabitants as possible. I firmly believe that once they see the tide is turning in this battle, they will be emboldened to take up arms against Hebi's invaders."

"That will not happen unless the gate is open," Usagi reminded him.

"We'll need a diversion, but it will have to be timed perfectly. I don't want anyone inside alerted that we are attacking before my men and I get into position. The diversion should then pull as many men as possible away from the area surrounding the gate," Leo said.

"What do you propose?" Usagi asked.

Once more, Leo indicated a spot on the map. "Have the climbers we sent up to scout for trails on the mountain go up again to a spot over the interior of the city. Send them up at the same time as I leave here; that should give them time to get into position and await your signal. When I am inside and ready to open the gate, I'll release one of the carrier pigeons we use to send messages to Lord Noriyuki. I'll have the cook dye its feathers bright orange so you'll know which bird is ours."

"When I see the pigeon, I will signal the climbers," Usagi repeated. "What do you want them to do?"

"Start rolling boulders down into the city," Leo said. "Make it look as though an invasion force was attempting to get into the city from the mountain side. That should draw most of Hebi's men away from our location."

"How will we time this so that I can have our troops at the gate when it opens?" Usagi asked. "If we start forward too soon, Hebi's men will rush back and you will be trapped."

Leo thought for a moment and then said. "Light an incense stick once you have signaled the men on the mountain. When it has burned halfway, start for the gate. Ride quickly my friend; you must be ready to swarm inside as soon as the gate starts to lift because once we're seen we won't be able to keep that gate open by ourselves."

"It will take some time to prepare the men," Usagi said. "You are planning to do this before first light tomorrow?"

"No, we're going to do it today," Leo said with finality.

Usagi stared at him in surprise, unable to speak for a moment. Finally finding his voice, he said, "Leonardo, is that not too soon? Surely it would be better to approach the city while the inhabitants are sleeping."

"Hebi's men won't be sleeping," Leo told him. "I have been watching them, Usagi. Before daybreak they double the guards because that is the time of day they expect for us to attack. They are awake and alert. I want to strike them just after their afternoon meal, when they are groggy from having risen so early and warmed to boredom by the sun.

"Additionally, the sounds of normal daytime activity will hide whatever noise we make when we're opening that grate. The early morning is too silent; someone would hear us. In the afternoon, the streets are more crowded and we have a better chance at getting close to the gate unseen if we blend in with the rest of the citizenry."

"You have given this a great deal of thought, my friend," Usagi said.

"I hope I've given it enough," Leo said as he stood up straight to stretch.

Stepping over to the tray that held their breakfast, he poured out a cup of tea and offered it to Usagi before filling one for himself. Sipping the hot, strong brew appreciatively, his eyes drifted back over to the maps.

"Who will you take with you?" Usagi asked quietly.

Leo glanced at him over the rim of his cup and then lowered it to answer, "Some of the men who've been with us since Famura. I'll want both Hideo and Kai. I need men that I can trust implicitly and who've trained with me."

"And who will follow your commands to the letter," Usagi added.

"Yes," Leo said. "This plan is tricky enough without the worry that someone will decide to go maverick."

Usagi did not understand the reference, but the meaning wasn't lost to him. Moving to the breakfast things, he accepted a bowl of rice from Leo and ate in silence as he contemplated his friend.

Leo's mind had returned to thoughts of his brothers, a tiny smile lifting the corners of his lips. 'Maverick' was the perfect word to describe Raphael; it was his brother's hot temper that often set Leo's plans awry. Somehow it always worked out for the best though, possibly because their teamwork was flawless.

He was wishing for his brothers right now. As much as he trusted the men he was going to take with him, they were not Donatello, Raphael or Michelangelo. His brothers had skills that these men would never learn in a lifetime of training.

Leo's brothers were also connected to him on a spiritual level and that unspoken bond had saved Leo's shell more than once. With a sigh, Leo helped himself to a bowl of rice and began to eat more out of necessity than hunger.

There was so very much to be done in the next few hours.

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A faint sound from the dojo reached Don's hearing as he left the bathroom. Tossing his damp towel into the hamper, he went downstairs quickly, holding his gear in his hand. Practice had ended a half hour previously and normally the only one who ever stayed behind was Leo.

His rational mind told him that Leo wouldn't sneak back into their home; he would announce his presence. It was his hopeful mind that drove him to walk briskly towards the dojo, wanting with all his heart to see the blue of his oldest brother's mask sitting on a face lit up by one of Leo's rare smiles.

Don experienced both surprise and a touch of disappointment when he saw that it was Raphael who had made the sounds. Standing in the door to the dojo, Donatello watched his red banded brother set out a large circle of candles on the section of the floor that was reserved for meditation.

A section of floor primarily used by _Leonardo_ for meditation, Don amended silently to himself. Raph meditated, but usually only the minimum amount required by Master Splinter's edict. Finding inner peace for Raph meant punching something, not sitting still.

As Don watched, Raph began lighting the candles and when he had a nice glowing ring of fire, he stepped over to the wall switch to extinguish the overhead fluorescents. That's when he noticed Don observing him.

"'Sup?" Raph asked, continuing his uncharacteristic actions as though nothing at all unusual was happening.

"Are you going to meditate?" Don asked with an incredulous lilt in his voice.

"Yeah," Raph said, taking a seat and wriggling a bit to get comfortable.

Don moved further into the dojo, trying to read what was going on in Raph's head from his facial expression. Raph looked up and watched his brother's approach, his face giving nothing away.

"Do you feel all right?" Don asked.

"I'm fine, Donny," Raph answered with a touch of annoyance. "Can't a guy meditate without getting the third degree from his family?"

"Sorry. It's just . . . well, you _never_ do any extra meditation. Are you channeling Leo?" Don hadn't meant to say his oldest brother's name, but since it was in the forefront of his mind, it slipped out.

Raph scowled at him. "No, I ain't trying ta be Leo. I ain't trying ta take Leo's place. I ain't trying ta win a popularity contest with Master Splinter. I just felt like meditating. Is that okay with you?"

Don held up a hand in a gesture of appeasement. "Did not mean to push any buttons, bro' and I didn't mean to step into your personal space or anything. I've been feeling kind of _edgy_ lately and I thought you might be feeling that way too."

Backing away, Don turned to leave. Raph saw how dejected Donatello looked, observing the way his shoulders slumped, a sure sign that he was upset.

"Hey, Donny, wait a minute," Raph called, making a decision.

Don stopped but didn't face Raph; merely glancing over a shoulder to find out why his brother had called to him.

"Look bro', I sorta had this weird ass dream last night," Raph said after taking a deep breath. "It was about Leo. He seemed ta need my help, Donny, like he does when something we're into is damn dangerous and I tell him he's doing the right thing. I ain't ever had a dream that was so real and it made me wonder if maybe I connected ta Leo somehow."

Don spun around and came back to him. "Do you think Leo is in some kind of danger?"

Raph shrugged. "Could be. Feels more like he took on a fight for somebody else and is wondering now if he got in over his head."

Nodding at the candles, Don asked in a low voice, "Is this an attempt to reach out to him? Your way of trying to watch his back even though he's so far away?"

"Maybe," Raph said, his face grim. "I dunno if I can, but I feel like I gotta try."

Moving into the circle of light, Don sat down next to Raph, the dimensions of the circle forcing him close against his brother. Raph turned his head to stare at Don, his brow furrowed in puzzlement.

"I had a similar experience one night myself," Don said. "I was overly tired and worried about . . . things. Leo seemed to come to me and he helped me relax enough to sleep. It's possible that we do have a way to communicate with him. If he needs help, I want to be there for him too."

"Yeah, okay," Raph said gruffly, turning back to study the candlelight.

He heard Don's breathy exhale and after a couple of minutes, Raph stole a glance over at the genius. Don's eyes were closed, his breathing leveling out as he centered himself. Having his brother so near gave Raph an enormous feeling of strength and an inner peace he hadn't felt in a long time.

Closing his eyes, Raph concentrated on finding the path that would lead him to Leo. Somehow he knew that he would meet Don along the way and together they would do whatever needed to be done to keep their oldest brother safe.

Together was exactly the way they always solved their most difficult problems.

TBC…


	10. Part 10

Fighting Desire  
part 10

Standing just outside of the command tent, Leo crossed his arms over his plastron and studied the high rock wall surrounding Chibiko. If all went well, he would have retaken the city by nightfall.

If not, there was a good possibility he'd be dead.

It wasn't something Leo wanted to dwell on, but it was a fact that had to be faced. There were a lot of lives at stake, not just his, and this plan was the best of those he'd considered.

"All is readied, Leonardo-san," Hideo said upon approaching his commander.

Looking back at the Kuma, Leo saw Usagi coming towards him as well.

"Very well, I'll join you momentarily," Leo said quietly.

Hideo bowed his head and backed away, casting a glance at Usagi as he left.

"They wonder why I am not accompanying you," Usagi said as he came to stand next to Leo.

"No, they understand why it is I need for you to be here," Leo corrected him. "They are just unused to seeing us apart."

Usagi wondered if there were any hidden implications in that, and if so, had Leo even thought of them. Their friendship was unusual by any standards and being the more experienced of the two Usagi knew what some would think of it.

"They are also unused to seeing the leader of an army go first into battle," Usagi pointed out. "Some would say it is a rash act."

"Perhaps so," Leo agreed, "but there is no one better suited to this type of mission than a ninja. Hideo and the others have only had a few weeks of training and though they are the best of the lot at stealth, they have nowhere near my skill set."

"Though I fear for your safety, I will not question your decision," Usagi said.

They grasped one another's forearms tightly, eyes locked together. Usagi had held his tongue about his fears because there had been too much to do and he hadn't had the time to dwell on it. Now it all rushed into Usagi's mind; the many things that could go wrong, the enormous odds against Leonardo, and the fact that he would be greatly outnumbered. More importantly, it would be the first time in over six weeks that they would not be together.

That Usagi would not be there to watch Leonardo's back.

Leo read something of Usagi's thoughts from his expression. With a little half smile he said, "Don't worry, Usagi. I'll be careful. This is more my style of fighting anyway. Promise me you'll look out for yourself."

"Of course I will," Usagi said, unable to return the smile. "I will look for you as I come through the gate, Leonardo-chan. I will want to see for myself that you are safe."

Leo's eyes widened at the intimate diminutive that had slipped from Usagi's mouth. His friend was standing quite close, his breathing slightly irregular as he stared at Leonardo.

Squeezing Usagi's arm in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, Leo said, "I will be looking for you as well, Usagi. I made this journey as much for your companionship as for the adventure. You are my closest friend."

The emphasis on friend wasn't lost on Usagi and he realized how much of a slip of the tongue he had just made. Trying to cover it, he said, "This is true for me as well, brother. Our journey shall not end today."

Usagi's grip on Leo's arm was tight and didn't loosen as he spoke. As much as he wanted to disguise his true feelings with the correct set of words, holding onto Leo for even a precious moment longer was Usagi's most overwhelming desire.

Leo remained fixed in Usagi's unfathomable stare as he sensed an unusual vibe coming from the samurai. It was as though his friend had something he needed to say but was holding back for some reason. His earlier words could be taken as an elder speaking to a youthful relative or as a sign of a deeper affection; the verbal interaction of lovers.

Since Usagi had followed it by referring to Leo as 'brother', the ninja could only interpret the phrasing in the first manner. However, that did not explain Usagi's reluctance to release Leo to his task.

"Let's go," Gen shouted as he climbed the small incline towards the pair.

Startled, Leo and Usagi separated and turned. Gennosuke had a wide grin on his face and a thick piece of grass wedged into the corner of his mouth.

"The wagons are ready and so is your team, Leonardo," Gen said as he came up next to them. "No more standing around; I've a wager going on how long it will take us to get inside that gate."

Usagi found his voice. "At least you are wagering with us this time."

Gen slapped him on the back and laughed. "I have learned the hard way about wagering against these off world kames."

Leo's face settled into an expressionless mask, his mind now completely focused on his mission.

"One last thing, Usagi," Leo said quietly. "If you see anything amiss before we release the pigeon, have someone blow the large horn and make sure they do so as loudly as possible. We'll pull back and assess the situation. Once the bird has flown, we'll already be committed to the plan as is."

"We will not fail you," Usagi told him.

With a final nod to both Usagi and Gen, Leo strode towards his small force of men. Two supply wagons had been hitched up and both drivers were part of Leo's team. The rest rode strong horses and were holding the one belonging to Leo.

Climbing into the saddle, Leo glanced over his assemblage. They appeared to be nothing more than a group leaving the encampment to gather necessary supplies; something that occurred on a frequent basis. Leo had no doubt they were being watched by Hebi's people at all times and if he and his men simply rode away there would be cause for alarm. A small caravan such as this would draw little to no notice.

Usagi watched Leonardo ride off with some trepidation. He realized he'd missed an opportunity to tell his friend exactly how he felt about him. Anxiety over the upcoming battle left Usagi wondering if the decision to hold his tongue would become the greatest regret of his life.

Pulling his mind away from such morbid thoughts was difficult. He and Leonardo had faced many dangerous situations together since they first met and Usagi didn't remember ever feeling such dread. Perhaps that was because they'd always faced those dangers together.

Or perhaps, as Usagi now admitted to himself, the fact was that in the past his feelings for Leonardo weren't as strong as they now were. Going into a battle was not the time to admit to the ninja that Usagi's emotions went beyond friendship. It was certainly not the time to tell Leonardo that Usagi desired him.

Such an admission now would not have given Leonardo an appropriate venue or the required time to think about the situation. It would have divided Leonardo's mind between his mission and Usagi's revelation. Such a division of Leonardo's focus could get him killed and that would be Usagi's fault.

Usagi knew that he could not live with that and so he'd kept as much as possible to himself. He hoped that what had slipped out hadn't already been too much.

Right at that moment Usagi knew that if Leonardo died the only honorable thing to do would be to follow him into death.

Usagi heard Gen shouting for him and with difficulty pulled his concentration back to the present. Leonardo had given him the job of saving his life and Usagi meant to do just that.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx

Raphael's consciousness separated from his corporeal body several minutes behind Donatello's and he subsequently lost track of his brother. It caused him no concern; they were following the same spiritual path and Raph knew he'd eventually catch up to Don.

He was a little surprised however when he felt a hand touch his shoulder and his eyes turned to travel along a sea green arm until they met a pair of startling blue eyes.

_"Mikey!"_ Raph exclaimed. _"What are ya' doing here?"_

_"You guys didn't think you could go on some kind of spiritual adventure without me did you?"_ Mikey asked with an infectious grin.

_"Listen Mikey, this ain't all about fun and games,"_ Raph told him.

_"Yeah I know," _Mikey said. _"You guys are trying to find Leo because you think he's in trouble."_

_"How did ya' guess?"_ Raph asked.

_"I know you guys think I'm dumb,"_ Mikey said, _"but I can figure things out. What was I gonna think seeing both you _and_ Donny meditating in the middle of enough candles to burn down the lair? Besides, the last few nights I've been dreaming about Leo, like, he's calling to me 'cause he needs my help. Weird, huh?"_

_"Not so weird,"_ Raph said, his spirit self far less reticent than his conscious self. _"Me and Donny sorta been getting the same thing."_

_"Speaking of Donny, where is the genius?"_ Mikey asked.

_"Ya' know him,"_ Raph said_. "He and Leo were always better at this meditation jazz. He's up ahead of me somewhere. He went in further and faster than I could and I ain't havin' a lot of luck catchin' up ta him."_

_"Well come on then,"_ Mikey said, grabbing Raph's arm. _"Let's go. No way is the techno geek gonna outrun the two us when we're working together."_

Mikey's hand felt good on his arm and Raph let his younger brother lead him. It was hard to deny Mikey's enthusiasm or his boundless energy.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx

Leo rode ahead of the wagons, his eyes searching the terrain as they travelled. The thought that reinforcements might at some point be sent to aid Hebi's loyalists did not escape him and he knew that his 'supply' caravan would be much too juicy a target for them.

They reached the edge of the woods unmolested and hid both the horses and the wagons as best they could. Taking with them only the equipment necessary to complete their mission, the group doubled back towards Chibiko beneath the canopy provided by the trees.

Throughout the woods were signs that attempts had been made to keep the trees and undergrowth trimmed, probably to prevent an armed force from approaching the city wall unseen. The efforts were not overly successful due in part to the rich soil and also because the trenches that had been dug to carry wastewater away from the city provided moisture for the plant life.

Leo guessed that the sewers here were much like those at home; excess rain water flowed down drains and passed through the grate and into the wooded area as well. Most likely some sort of basin had been built around the foot of the mountain to capture run off from downpours and that too would be directed out of the city through the main drainage ditch.

The idea behind that engineering would be to allow fresh water to keep the system flushed and relatively clean. Otherwise, the smell would filter out into the city and become an unbearable nuisance to live with.

With any luck, those periodic overflows would have eroded the stone that the grate was embedded in and make it a more malleable surface to manipulate.

Along the way Leo noticed that someone had planted fruit bearing trees. The way his men eyed the fruit led him to think that the current bounty was harvestable and quite probably delicious.

Another worry entered his mind; surely some resident would remember this readily available food source and attempt to find a way to reach it. Having been cut-off from supplies for over a week and having to feed Hebi's men, the citizens were no doubt rationing their food. Since Leo could not count on anyone they might meet being friendly, he began to move even more cautiously than before.

When the group was nearly at their destination, Leo lifted his hand and everyone froze. Staring intently towards their goal, Leo tried to determine how much cover they would have once they were up against the wall. Unable to tell from his current vantage point, Leo decided to investigate on his own.

Sweeping his hand down, palm flat, Leo silently ordered his men to drop to the ground and stay put. Without looking back, Leo moved forward, soon blending into the dappled shadows and becoming invisible.

The pungent aroma of waste assailed his senses even before Leo saw the main drainage ditch. Wide and deep, it tilted downward away from the high stone wall that surrounded the city, carrying the effluent to the multitude of channels cut into the woods.

Leo saw immediately that the trees had been trimmed so that their canopy would not obstruct the view from above. Fortunately, the maintenance of the area had been lax; while the branches had not grown back to offer him cover, other undergrowth plants had sprung up.

The bushes and tall grasses that reached for the sunlight in this area were fed by the abundant water coming from the ditch. They easily provided the hiding places he needed to not only approach the grate but to also work there without being seen.

Satisfied with the setup, Leo made his way back to where his men waited. He was pleased to note how well they remembered their training; none had moved and they made no noise of any kind.

Leo signaled for them to follow him and proceeded to lead them to the grate, no less cautious this second time than he'd been on the first occasion.

His men immediately started to work, each knowing exactly what needed to be done. As two of them anchored one end of the come-along to a sturdy tree trunk, another gingerly handed the glass bottle containing the home made acid cocktail to Leo.

Leo took a few minutes to carefully examine both the metal bars of the grate and the stone into which they were embedded. As he'd hoped, there were signs of obvious erosion in the stone walls of the entry tunnel. Instead of a smooth, solid finish, the stone was pockmarked with lesions.

Using a thumbnail, Leo scraped at the stone and was happy when some of it flaked off rather easily. Uncapping the bottle, Leo carefully poured acid onto the stone, right where each of the four bars were seated.

Moving to the other side, he repeated the process, using a touch less acid. The bars were a bit thicker than he'd anticipated and he hoped he wouldn't have to use the remainder of the acid to remove them. If they ran into a similar obstacle further in they would have no way of silently extracting it.

Now they waited. Leo could feel his men's tension as they watched the little puffs of smoke coming off the stone. Rigidly poised for the next phase of the plan, they were all extremely vigilante, their vulnerability abundantly clear to each of them.

When an appropriate amount of time seemed to have passed, Leo leaned in close to study the acid's progress. The stone bubbled and ran where the acid had touched it; the corrosive nature of the liquid still working its way through the porous material.

Bending down, Leo picked up a heavy rock and chipped at the stone wall as quietly as possible. A good sized chunk crumbled and fell off, making Leo smile.

Next he grabbed the metal bar and tugged, but it still seemed to be solidly seated. Dropping the rock, he used both hands and pulled hard, satisfied at feeling the bar shift slightly under his palms.

Turning, he nodded to his men and then stepped aside as Kai secured the heavy rope around one of the bars. When it was in place he lifted his hand and the man holding the ratchet lever began to winch the rope.

Each movement on the lever pulled the rope a couple of inches and it quickly became taut.

"Slowly," Leo hissed in warning.

He was afraid that too hard of a pull would either break the rope or cause the metal bar to loudly pop out of the wall and be heard by guards patrolling the parapet above them.

As the rope pulled on one end of the bar, Leo and Kai jumped over to the other side and together began tugging at the bar to loosen the opposite end.

Little by little the bar began to move. Another of the men came forward to help pull at it while the rest remained on watch. More stone crumbled from the wall and then a large piece broke off, tumbling into the water below. A low shriek echoed from metal scraping stone and then the winched end pulled away from the wall.

The weakened stone on the other end couldn't hold the weight of the bar and it tipped downwards, hanging loose across the opening. Jubilant, Kai quickly worked the rope off of the bar and attached it to the next one.

It took another twenty minutes to pry all four of the bars loose enough for the group of seven men to slide past the open end and into the sewer tunnel. Standing to one side as he attempted to avoid stepping in the foul smelling sludge at the center of the tunnel, Leo took a moment to simply listen.

Ahead of them was darkness, the afternoon sunlight unable to penetrate very far under the city wall. The only sound Leo heard was the trickle of water; noises from the city were not audible at this point in the tunnel.

Holding up two fingers, Leo waited as his men lit two candles, cupping their hands around the flames as the group moved inward. From his intense study of the maps, Leo had a fairly good idea of where they needed to go.

By Leo's estimation, his group had traveled a half mile into the sewers when they came upon a large wooden door mounted in the rock wall to their left. Ahead of them, the tunnel stretched into the blackness.

Pressing the side of his head to the door, Leo listened for any type of sound but heard nothing. Reaching down, he curved his fingers around the door handle and tried opening the door, but it proved to be locked from the other side.

Kneeling, Leo ran his eyes along the edge of the ill fitted frame and spotted a section of the metal bar that held the door shut.

"Acid," Leo whispered, holding out a hand.

There was only a small amount of the liquid remaining and Leo hoped it would be enough. Standing, he indicated to his men that they should back up and then with careful precision, Leo tossed the acid through the small opening and onto the metal bar.

Setting the empty bottle aside, Leo watched the smoke puff out from the area he'd just saturated. He could feel the uneasiness coming off of his men; it made the darkness of the tunnel seem heavier and more oppressive. Leo glanced around at them, giving each a reassuring smile to help ease their anxiety, and then turned back to stare at the door.

He knew from past experience approximately how long it would take the acid to eat through the metal. Taking into account that this metal had not been forged with the more modern methods used on his world, Leo finally deemed it safe to try and force the door open.

Grasping the handle tightly, Leo pulled hard. He felt a slight give but the door still wouldn't budge. Then Hideo moved in behind him and caught hold of the handle as well, his heavier muscles more than doubling the pressure on the metal bar.

The sound of the bar snapping loose seemed loud in the tunnel and Leo froze. With every sense alert, he listened for sounds of someone coming to investigate but no one did. Looking back at Hideo, Leo nodded once and together they eased the door open.

Looking through the door, Leo saw that it led into a very small alcove, only about four feet across. A foot to the left was a rock wall, but to the right the alcove opened into a larger room.

The alcove was only six feet in length before the wall ended. Not much room to maneuver in. Certainly not enough room for all of them to go in at once.

Leo lifted a palm at his men and then lowered two fingers as he pointed towards himself. When they nodded their understanding, Leo crept through the doorway and padded across silently the two steps it took to reach the rock wall.

Flattening himself there, he waited a long moment and then turned so his shoulder brushed the rock as he slid towards the wall's end. His was partway there when he heard the low murmur of voices and since they didn't sound as though they were aware of an intrusion, he kept going.

Reaching the edge of the wall he stopped to take a nice, deep breath. He could see light flickering from inside the room and hear some sort of desultory conversation. The voices sounded bored, but Leo couldn't make out any words, so he couldn't tell how many occupants were inside.

Holding his breath so that no sound would give him away, Leo peered cautiously around the corner.

To the left he could see that a large space had been carved out as a sort of maintenance area. A round table occupied a corner and just beyond that a set of stone steps curved upwards, with only the first few of them visible below a rocky outcropping.

Seated on the steps was a fat Tanuki munching on a piece of fruit. A yari leaned against the wall next to him and a large horn sat on the step just beside his right hand.

At the table were four other men, each from a different clan. Three of them appeared to be playing some sort of game without any apparent enthusiasm. The fourth, an Inu, had his arms crossed in front of him on the table and his head was cradled on them.

The first three men were each heavily armed but the fourth was not. Leo assumed the Inu was a resident of the city and probably the caretaker for the sewer system.

Soundlessly, Leo slid back to the door where his men waited and stepped into the tunnel with them.

"There are five men in the room just beyond the wall," Leo explained in a whisper. "All but one carry weapons; I believe that one might be their captive. Assume nothing, but we should avoid killing him if he makes no move against us. The space is too small for us all to engage in a fight with these men, so I'll take Hideo into the room with me."

Looking at Hideo directly, Leo continued, "The man on the stairs is mine; he has to be silenced before he can sound an alarm. Past the wall and fifteen paces to the left is where you'll find the other men. Go straight for them and make every strike count. Stay away from the wall; don't get cornered. I should be with you in seconds, but don't look around for me."

"I remember what you've taught me," Hideo said.

Leo rested a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly before removing it. Looking at Kai, Leo said, "Come into the alcove after we enter the room but don't bunch together. Count to twenty slowly and then follow us. Be prepared to fight if we haven't managed to subdue these men."

Kai nodded, understanding that the only way Leonardo and Hideo would not have finished off four men would be if they were both dead. He was pretty sure his blade would not be tasting blood just yet.

Leo drew one of his katanas before entering the alcove so that the rasp against its sheath would not be heard. Hideo did likewise, sliding his heavier nodachi from his back.

Hideo glided in behind Leo as they both entered the alcove. Holding up one hand, Leo checked around the corner again and saw that none of the men had moved. Slowly lowering one finger at a time, Leo darted forward as his last finger came down.

Leo moved so quickly that the men inside the room didn't register his presence until he was nearly at the staircase. Then the Tanuki who was on the stairs swept up the horn and leaped to his feet, attempting to grab his weapon while lifting the horn to his mouth.

Before he had it even halfway there, Leo threw a bo-shuriken with unerring accuracy, the bladed tip sinking into the Tanuki's throat. Eyes wide, the man dropped the horn and clutched at his neck before falling forward and rolling lifeless to the bottom of the stairs.

Spinning around, Leo caught the edge of a sword with his katana, shoving the attacker's blade aside. From the corner of his eye he could see Hideo battling one of the guards while the man who'd had his head down stood pressed into a corner, his hands up over his ears.

A trail of blood led away from the table and as Leo traded blows with his opponent, he saw the last guard retrieving a naginata from amongst a set of them leaning against the wall. One arm dangled, bloody and useless thanks to an early blow from Hideo's sword, but the guard lifted the naginata in the other.

As the guard swayed dizzily and started towards Hideo's exposed back, Leo ducked beneath his attacker's sword and rolled towards Hideo. Yanking his other katana from its sheath, Leo came up on one knee and swept his blade out across the legs of their already half dead enemy.

With a high pitched scream, the guard dropped the naginata and collapsed, his legs nearly severed from his body. Leo flipped forward onto his shoulder and came back to his feet in time to meet a headlong rush from his own adversary.

When the man's blade came down at his head, Leo smacked it aside and sliced sideways through the man's upper body. The guard did no more than gurgle before falling dead.

Turning, Leo saw that Hideo had finished off the last guard. Kai and the rest of Leo's squad burst into the room, weapons drawn, but one look told them they were not needed.

Leo quickly jerked his head back towards the man in the corner. The Inu still had his hands over his ears and he began to tremble uncontrollably when he saw Leo looking at him.

"Please don't kill me," he begged in a shaky voice. "I'm not one of them. I am unarmed."

"Lord Noriyuki sent us to liberate this city," Leo told him quietly, sheathing his swords. "If you are not a part of Hebi's treachery then help us. What is at the top of those stairs?"

"A door that gives out on the city square," the Inu answered. "On either side are rows of shops. They are usually quite busy, but there are few citizens out now. All of us live in fear of what has been happening and in the last week the danger has only grown."

"Where is the main gate in relation to that door?" Leo asked.

"Perhaps a hundred yards," the Inu told him. "It is to the left just beyond the primary center of the square. The gate is heavily guarded."

"Is that upper door locked?" Leo watched the man carefully, still not completely trusting him.

"Yes, but the key is on a ring in that man's belt," the Inu said, pointing towards the dead Tanuki at the foot of the stairs. "I have not been allowed to leave here since Hebi's men took over. If you are going to do anything, you must hurry. The guards are changed at intervals and you have only twenty minutes before the next group arrives."

Kai was already pulling the key ring from the Tanuki's belt and Leo signaled one of his other men forward.

"Tie him," Leo said before turning back to the Inu. "You will have to be bound; I apologize for the discomfort, but we cannot take any chances. If the replacement guards arrive, they will not know you've aided us. Should we achieve our goal, you will not see any more of Hebi's men and we will send someone back to free you."

The Inu licked his lips and then nodded. Given the choice of seated or lying flat, he chose the ground since none of them knew how long he would have to remain there.

Leo accepted the key from Kai and began his ascent. His squad did not crowd him, remaining several steps down in order that Leo have room to move if necessary. At the top of the staircase was another heavy, wooden door. A small hole had been drilled into it at eyelevel and Leo peered through it, but the view was limited.

Other than a few citizens moving between merchant's stalls, there was no other signs of life. Leo did not see anyone who appeared to belong to Hebi's loyalists nearby and decided they needed to move.

Inserting the key in the lock, he twisted it back with an audible click.

On the other side of the door, a guard snapped to attention at the sound. Stationed there as a secondary measure, he listened for the special code knock that would tell him that whoever was exiting was another of Hebi's guards.

When he didn't hear the knock, he pulled his katana, turning sideways so that he would have a clear view of the first neck that came through the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx

Raph and Mikey had been following a gravel path, their minds creating a simple garden setting to lead them on their quest. Before long, wisps of fog began to drift around them and after travelling a bit further, they found they could see nothing but whiteness all around.

Then Raph spotted a hint of vivid purple ahead of them and urged Mikey to go faster. Sure enough, standing a little ways further on was Donatello. He was turned away from them, completely unmoving, his eyes focused forward and his arms hanging at his sides.

_"Way ta go Brainiac,"_ Raph called out good-naturedly. _"Ya' couldn't wait for us?"_

Instead of acknowledging Raph's presence or questioning Mikey's, Don lifted a hand and said, _"Shh!"_

_"What the shell?"_ Raph asked, coming to an abrupt halt and looking around in alarm.

Mikey shook his head and pointed at Don, who hadn't moved from his position.

_"I can see Leo,"_ Don said in a voice so low they had to strain to hear him.

Both Raph and Mikey stared into the heavy fog, following the direction Don's eyes had taken, but neither could see anything other than a thick, white wall.

_"We don't see anything, Donny,"_ Raph said as he started to move forward.

Suddenly Don shifted; his body stiffening as though preparing for an attack. _"I have to stop him!" _Don yelled and plunged forward into the mist, disappearing from view.

Raph bellowed, _"Donny!"_

As Raph lunged after his brother, he felt Mikey catch hold of his hand, running at full tilt alongside him. The mist parted around them, showing them glimpses of the path and the garden, but absolutely nothing else.

Donatello was gone.

TBC….


	11. Part 11

Fighting Desire  
part 11

As Leonardo stood before the door that would take him out of Chibiko's sewer system, the small space that he was occupying seemed to shift. One moment he was turning the door handle, the next his hand seemed to be moving in slow motion as he pushed against the door.

Leo blinked as his surroundings tilted slightly, the fractional change surreal. The door under his hand, which had started to move, now stubbornly refused to budge. When he glanced over his shoulder at his men they appeared frozen, with not even the rise and fall of their chests to indicate that they were breathing.

Turning back to the door, Leo saw the lightest touch of a white mist against the backdrop of the darker wood. Afraid that he'd set off some type of booby trap, Leo pressed his shoulder against the door so that he could access some fresh air.

The door resisted for four heartbeats and then began to open.

It was then that the blue banded ninja heard someone say, _"Leo."_

It was a whisper of sound, soft and seeming to come from a great distance, but it was without a doubt the voice of his brother Donatello.

Even as Leo recognized the voice, the mist lifted away from the door and moved towards him, carrying with it Don's distinctive scent. The mist seemed to glide into his body and he felt his hand lifting from the door handle. A second later a gentle push made him step back down to a lower stair.

Leo's hand lifted again of its own accord, as though controlled by an invisible puppeteer, and he found himself gripping one of his katanas.

As he pulled it from its sheath, Leo once more heard the gentle whisper of his name and then the force within him dissipated.

Leo gasped, his body feeling suddenly heavier with the loss of his brother's essence. The staircase canted again, righting itself as he once more heard the movements of his men.

"Leonardo-san?" Hideo asked in a breathy concerned whisper.

"An enemy is waiting on the other side of this door," Leo whispered in return.

Without turning to look at them, Leo lifted a palm and waved them towards the wall. His squad dutifully flattened themselves against the stone.

Reaching for the door handle, Leo twisted it and pushed just enough to separate it from the jamb before releasing it and allowing the door to snap shut again. Rather than moving, Leo waited.

The guard on the other side of the door watched as the door began to open three separate times before fully closing again. Adjusting his stance he began to grow curious.

With a puzzled frown, he shifted his katana to a one handed grip so that he could open the door. Drawing it back slowly, he at first saw nothing, his sun brightened eyes working to adjust to the dark interior. Taking a step forward, he tried to peer past the gloom.

A flash of steel met his throat and silenced his cry of alarm before he got the chance to make one.

As the guard fell inwards, Leo caught the back of his shirt and yanked him out of the doorway, pulling hard enough to send his lifeless body tumbling down the stairs.

The door swung closed behind him and Leo signaled to his men that they would wait before attempting an exit. Each second that ticked past assured him that the guard's disappearance had raised no alarms.

While he waited, Leo became aware of Donatello's scent once more, though there was no recurrence of the previous temporal slip. Lifting an arm, Leo touched the back of his hand to his nostrils and inhaled deeply.

Donatello's unique musk wafted up to him, the smell both reassuring and enticing. Whatever trick Donny had used in warning Leo of danger had left the genius' scent all over his older brother. It was something Leo had often dreamt of.

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_"Don!"_ Mikey shouted.

_"Donny!"_ Raph yelled.

Both were calling to their brother, who had so mysteriously vanished just moments earlier into a solid wall of fog. Remaining close to each other, Mike and Raph peered through the floating white mist to no avail.

_"Look . . . look over there,"_ Raph urge Mikey as he began to grow frantic.

_"Okay, just don't go far dude,"_ Mikey said. _"You know what happens to people in horror movies when they separate."_

_"Shut up,"_ Raph said without rancor, knowing Mikey talked a lot when he was nervous.

_"Where do you think he went?"_ Mikey asked, ignoring Raph's request for silence.

Raph half turned towards his brother, who was now several yards away. _"I don't know, the fog got thicker and he . . . ."_

A movement caught the corner of his eye and he stopped talking. One section of the mist was knotting together, weaving into what looked like a tight, white screen. Before he could say anything, he saw Donatello fall backwards out of it.

_"Catch him!" _Raph shouted at Mikey, who was the closest of the two.

Spinning, Mikey did a quick hand spring that took him right up against his genius brother. Mikey broke Don's fall and then kneeled, taking Don with him.

Raph reached them as Mikey cradled Don's head against his thighs. Don was stiff and shivering, his wide open eyes unseeing.

_"Don?"_ Mikey spoke softly as he stroked a soothing hand across Donatello's forehead.

Raph kneeled next to Don, gathering an olive green hand into his own. Don's hand was cold and Raph began to rub it briskly.

The warmth from both of his brothers started seeping into Don and he blinked, coming back to himself. With a shudder, his entire body relaxed.

_"I'm okay,"_ he assured them in a small voice.

_"Damn it Don, where'd ya' go?" _Raph asked, the earlier worry sharpening his tone.

_"Leo was in trouble,"_ Don said, _"and I went in to help him."_

Raph and Mikey exchanged glances over Don's head.

_"Um, went into where Donny?"_ Mikey asked.

_"Into Leo of course,"_ Don said, as if that made all the sense in the world.

Raph bypassed the enigmatic answer in favor of the question that had a higher priority. _"Is Leo okay?"_

Hearing the anxiety in Raph's voice, Don gave him a reassuring though tired smile. _"For now. I got there just in time."_

_"How? How did you find him; how did you get to him?" _Mikey asked with more than simple curiosity. It was something he sensed he was going to need to know.

_"It's the mist; you can use it as a doorway,"_ Don answered softly_. "You can do it if you concentrate. If you focus on Leo it will let you see him. Once you see him you have to hang on to the image. If you see that he needs you, you'll know what to do."_

Raph noticed that Don's hand was growing weightless and that his skin was suddenly translucent.

_"Don, what the shell is going on?"_ Raph demanded as Don's fingers slipped away from him.

_"Tired,"_ Don said, his voice just barely drifting up to them. _"I have to go back now. I'll wait for you guys. Save your energy in case Leo needs you. Go in one at a time."_

_"Wait,"_ Raph begged. _"Wait!"_

Don reached towards Raph's cheek, his fingertips mere breaths of air as they offered support.

_"You'll know what to do,"_ Don repeated, his voice fading with his body, leaving Mikey holding nothing.

_"Now what, Raph?"_ Mikey asked, his blue eyes wide.

Raph stood up and looked at the tentacles of fog drifting around them.

_"We do what Donny did,"_ Raph said with determination. _"We channel this stuff and we watch over our brother. Whatever the shell Leo's gotten into, he needs us."_

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Leo inwardly cursed his recklessness. Having been part of a team for so long had left him with certain blind spots in his usually meticulous defenses. One or the other of his brothers always stepped forward when there was danger; their teamwork made them operate like four separate pieces of a greater whole.

Somehow their bond was strong enough to span even this great distance. Leo had wished that his brothers could be with him and apparently they were.

Taking a moment to find his center, Leo did what he should have done in the first place rather than carelessly attempting to open that door. Closing his eyes, he expanded his ki, sending his energy through the thick wooden door and beyond. The ripples of power encountered no other lurking figure; no other waiting danger.

Pulling the energy flow back into himself, Leo glanced at his men and nodded before slowly pushing the door open.

For a city of Chibiko's size, the courtyard was very quiet. The few citizens he'd seen through the peephole were completing their transactions with alacrity; none seemed inclined to tarry in the open.

Several merchant stalls with their tall sun shades blocked Leo's view of the parapet that ran along the length of the city's stone wall.

Before stepping out, Leo reached behind him and accepted a bundle from one of his men. Very quickly he donned the short coated Happi and a pair of loose fitting pants, pulling a hooded cloak over his head to disguise his katanas as well as his face. His men likewise covered themselves so as to blend in with the citizenry.

Mentally counting the minutes that had passed, Leo guessed that they had used about six out of their twenty minute safety net. Fourteen minutes to cross a hundred yards without being seen.

Leo moved out into the courtyard as casually as possible, walking without looking around until he turned onto the main thoroughfare. Once in the city square he stopped at a merchant's booth and pretended to look at a bolt of cloth while surreptitiously memorizing his surroundings.

He did not look for his men, trusting that they were proceeding according to plan. They had been instructed that once in the primary center of the square, they were to singly make their way towards the gate. Once there, preferably unseen, they were to take up defensive positions that would ensure the gate remained open once Leo had managed to get it that way.

As his gaze played over the area, Leo spotted the man who was carrying the pigeon. He had seated himself against a wall under the shade of a large tree, the blanket covered cage flush against his body and his head down. Unmoving, he would draw no attention to himself, waiting at his vantage point until he saw that everyone else was in position.

Ten minutes. Leo spotted the operating mechanism for the large wooden gate. It was raised and lowered by a series of pulleys, similar to a portcullis. His keen eyes outlined the crank that ran to the heavy chains above the gate and the metal bar that locked it in place. The crank sat on a narrow rock platform reached by a set of steps, nearly halfway between the ground and the parapet.

Continuing to browse, Leo sauntered closer to the gate, his busy eyes moving around the square. He soon found Hideo, the large Kuma difficult to miss as he mingled with a small group of men. Hideo was as close to the gate as he could get without drawing attention to himself and Leo knew the others were likewise stationed and waiting for him.

Leo reached the last shop in the line, by his estimation some thirty yards from the steps he needed to climb. Those thirty yards were wide open; not a single obstruction to hinder him nor provide him shelter. Once he started across, there would be no doubt in anyone's mind as to his intent.

Lifting his arms straight into the air, Leo appeared to be stretching. He twisted sideways after he lowered his arms, his eyes going back in time to see a flash of orange fly skyward, the pigeon released on his signal.

Six minutes. A babble of voices rose from near the city wall and then guards began to move towards the mountain. At first it was just a few, but then the sounds grew more excited and men started running.

Leo was no longer concerned about the changing of the guard in the sewers and his internal timer reset to a countdown based on a burning incense stick. He had but a few minutes to cross the open space near the wall, climb the steps, and get the gate open.

Flinging his cape off, Leo broke into a run, making straight for the steps. Halfway there he heard someone call out a warning and from the corner of his eye saw Kai suddenly appear to intercept a guard. The clang of their steel rang loudly in his hearing.

He reached the steps and took them two at a time. Around him he could hear men yelling, most of the voices gathered at a point near the base of the mountain. Kai had delivered the one guard who had seen him to the man's ancestors and was now pressed against the wall near the gate, sword in hand.

Reaching the crank, Leo grabbed the metal bar that held it locked into position and pushed down to remove it.

The bar didn't budge.

Using both hands, Leo used his body weight to lean on the bar but it still wouldn't move. With an aggravated huff, Leo grabbed the crank handle and tried turning it enough to loosen the bar, but to no avail. Leaning his shell against the narrow rock wall next to him, Leo planted one foot on the bar and kicked. When that didn't work, he tried the same maneuver with two feet.

The bar didn't budge.

Sounds from outside the walls told Leo that Usagi had already started for the gate. A shout from inside the city warned the ninja that Hebi's loyalists had seen Lord Noriyuki's troops approaching.

Men were already running back to the gate in order to fortify the entrance. A guard dashing back along the parapet spotted Leo at the crank and rushed towards him, sword drawn.

Leo heard Hideo's voice calling out to their small squad and knew his men were now engaging the enemy. If he didn't get the gate open soon, they would be overrun and Leo would lose them.

The guard swung his weapon downwards at Leo, who ducked beneath the flashing blade. Leo's katana was in his hand almost without conscious thought as he met and blocked the next blow, stepping up and coming in at the man's middle before the guard could regain his balance.

A quick slash caught the guard's unprotected side, traveling upwards through skin and muscle until the tip of Leo's blade came out at the man's shoulder. A shower of blood splattered Leo's arm, head, and upper torso as the guard fell away from him.

Leo saw another man running across the parapet, intent on stopping him before he could open the gate. Heart pounding, Leo once more turned to the stubborn metal bar, a low frustrated growl seeping out of his throat.

It was then he saw the mist gathering near the crank. The sounds around him faded into echoes that seemed to come from inside a tunnel, this manifestation slightly different from the one with Don.

As the mist grew thicker, a shape began to form within it. The first thing Leo recognized was a wide smile, the next was a set of twinkling blue eyes and the touch of orange surrounding them.

_"Dude."_ Michelangelo's voice sounded clearly in Leo's head, the mixture of humor and concern washing over Leo with soothing warmth.

_"Need some help?"_ Mikey asked as his nunchuck spun, a solid white chunk of fog solidified by Mikey's energy.

Mikey brought the nunchuck down on the metal bar with a resounding smack and popped it loose. Leo quickly grabbed the crank and began to lift the gate, clenching the grip on his katana between his knees so that he could use both hands.

_"Miss you bro',"_ Mikey said as he began to fade, eyes flashing with a mischievous gleam before disappearing, leaving only his Cheshire grin behind. _"Watch your back,"_ it instructed as it winked out.

Threads of mist still clung to the air as Leo quickly grabbed his katana, one hand still busy with the crank. Twisting his body sideways, Leo met the onslaught of another guard.

Leo's position was awkward; body half turned, one arm outstretched as he held the crank steady, the other extended to ward off blows. He couldn't release the crank; the gate was half opened and letting go would send the gate crashing down again.

He could hear the shouts of the troops as they approached; he could even imagine that he was hearing Gen's deep voice. They were close; a minute more and some of them would abandon their mounts in order to slide beneath the partially opened gateway.

That thought spurred Leo to finish his opponent quickly. Katana flashing in the sun, Leo's arm moved with such speed it was merely a blur, the blade an extension of himself. Slapping aside a slashing motion, Leo pulled his arm in towards his body, drawing the guard a step closer. Sensing a weakness, the guard lifted his sword and Leo quickly thrust upward, impaling the man's throat.

With a fast sideways twist, Leo dislodged his weapon from the dead guard and turned his attention back to the crank. Leo worked the crank with one hand and the knuckles from the other, maintaining a tight grip on his katana.

The gate was almost completely open when his troops began to stream inside. Leo caught a glimpse of Hideo's face, seeing the relief there told the ninja just how close they'd come to annihilation.

A final spin of the crank set the gate to the fully open position and Leo locked it in place. For good measure, he grabbed the dead guard's sword and jammed it into the cranking mechanism, breaking it off so that it couldn't easily be removed.

Looking down, he saw Hebi's loyalists swarming out of their hiding places to face Lord Noriyuki's troops. The clash of bodies and raucous cries filled the afternoon air with their deadly song.

None of Hebi's men seemed willing to surrender and that told Leo a little more about the evil snake's hold. A small area clear of moving forms drew Leo's attention and he glanced over.

Usagi stood in the center of a ring of bodies, his katana and wakizashi both dripping blood as he held them at the ready. Seeming to feel eyes on him, Usagi looked up and saw Leo.

The world around them felt as though it slowed for a fraction of time as the pair stared at one another, Usagi's emotions raw and open for one fleeting moment. Leo drew a gasping breath as his friend's passion rolled over him and then Usagi turned away to meet an attacker.

A little dazed, it took Leo a second to pull his head back into the fight. With a loud cry, he leaped into the fray, both his katanas whirling around him.

Hebi's loyalists seemed to sense Leo's importance as he slashed his way through their defenses. Groups of them began to close in on him, attacking with unbridled ferocity.

Blood covered Leo's body, splattering his face and running into his eyes. His hands maintained their tight hold on his katanas, too loosen them for even a second would allow the blood to run into his palms and slicken his grip.

Bit by bit the enemy fell back; Leo's expertise, speed, and raw skill too much for them to handle. The noise around him did not abate; the screams and shouts an almost deafening cacophony.

Fully engaged in a fight against three attackers, Leo saw movement in his peripheral vision from atop the parapet. Surprised, he risked a quick glance upwards, thinking that all of Hebi's men had abandoned that perch in order to leap into the main battle.

A single archer still held the high ground, his arrow notched and tracking Leo.

Cut off from an escape route, Leo couldn't move out of the archer's line of sight. He could almost hear the ting of the bow as the arrow was released.

It was then a swirl of white mist formed near the ground and twisted like a miniature cyclone, growing to full size in a fraction of a second. A familiar bloodthirsty shout reverberated through the courtyard, the sound rippling the air with tiny friction waves, visible to Leo's eyes.

As Leo gutted one of his opponents, the mist solidified and moved simultaneously, coming up behind another of Leo's attackers. Fists as thick as boulders held twin three-pronged weapons and one of them lifted, plunging into the attacker and lifting the man bodily, flinging his lifeless form in front of the arrow.

The body flew unerringly between Leo and the archer's arrow, which sank deep into the carcass. Leo spun back to meet his final opponent, his darting eyes searching for the mist. Slicing open the third man's throat, Leo didn't wait to see him hit the ground as he twisted around to locate the archer.

Standing in the exact same spot, the archer notched another arrow, lifting his bow in order to make a second attempt at killing Leonardo. As Leo watched, the white mist churned up the steps, moving with the speed of a tornado. The archer seemed to feel its presence as it roiled up onto the parapet and swept into position in back of the man.

Half turning in alarm, the archer dropped his weapon as the mist became a solid being of immense size and musculature. The archer's hands came up in a defensive gesture as the white being grasped his head and upper torso, snapping his head to the side with such vicious force the man's neck broke immediately.

Dropping the dead form to the ground below, Raphael's golden gaze blazed on a downward course, catching and trapping Leo's eyes. Flinging his head back, Raph let out a bellowing lusty shout, full of adrenaline and power.

The shout echoed across the city, a small cyclone of wind that lifted the dust from the streets. As Raph began to fade, his eyes once more trapped Leo's, his mouth lifting into a patented cocky grin that made Leo's heart thump rapidly in his chest. Then Raph was gone.

Recalling himself, Leo jumped over the dead bodies that surrounded him, his katanas up and ready. It was then he noticed the fight was drawing to an end; most of Hebi's loyalists dead or dying, others kneeling with their hands behind their heads while Leo's men held them at bay.

"Leonardo!"

Leo turned quickly and saw Usagi running towards him. The samurai was as covered in blood as Leo was, but his fluid movements told the ninja that none of the blood was Usagi's.

"Usagi," Leo called out. "Is it . . . done?" Leo still felt a bit disoriented from his encounter with Raph.

The samurai grabbed Leo's shoulders and pulled him into an embrace, the movement as quick as it was surprising. Leo still gripped his katanas and his arms remained at his sides until Usagi pulled back from him.

As Leo sheathed his weapons, his eyes locked with Usagi's and he could still see a lingering emotion in them, but couldn't identify it. They were both breathing hard; the adrenaline from the fight battling its way through their systems and their lungs were attempting to push oxygen into overworked muscles.

"We've retaken the city," Usagi said in a somewhat breathless tone.

Leo pushed aside the fatigue he could feel trying to take control of his body as his mind turned back to his duties.

"We have to assess the men," Leo said, looking around him.

He could see Daisuke, Hideo, and Gen hurrying towards them. All three were caked in blood and sweat, none appearing elated at their victory. They understood that the fight was far from done.

"Leonardo, Usagi," Gen said as he strode up to them. "It's good to see you are both alive and in one piece."

"How did the men fare?" Leo asked Hideo.

"We've lost a few, but the casualties were low," Hideo said. "The medics are working to locate the injured. Kai was hurt; he caught the edge of a blade with his shoulder rather than his own weapon, but the injury isn't life threatening."

Leo grimaced, unhappy as he always was when any of his own were injured. He glanced around and then looked back to Hideo.

"The dead must be gathered so that we can attempt to identify them," Leo said. "The fight ended quickly, so I hope that means the citizens did not join in the battle."

"When you were trying to open that gate, some of them moved to engage us," Hideo said. "They were being bullied into it by Hebi's men. It was your opening the gate that changed the fight; some of the citizens turned on their enslavers, others simply fled."

With a nod, Leo said, "Some of Hebi's men have probably done the same. We have much to do. Gen, take a squad and begin a search of the city buildings; homes, shops, everything. If there are any Hebi supporters within these walls, we must ferret them out."

Gennosuke grinned. "It will be a pleasure."

"Take care, my friend," Usagi admonished him as Gen started off, "these men will be desperate."

Gen simply waved at him, his attitude as jaunty as ever. They knew he would do a thorough job.

"Should I harbor any hopes that he will turn up Hebi himself during his search?" Leo asked quietly.

Usagi shook his head, his face serious. "I do not think he is here, Leonardo-san. None of his men would have given up if he were."

Leo took a deep breath of resignation and let the air puff out of his mouth. "Daisuke, set someone to the task of collecting the dead, then post a watch. We also need to begin bringing supplies into the city."

"At once," Daisuke said with a bow before he turned to his task.

"What should be done with the prisoners?" Hideo asked.

Leo began walking over to where his troops were guarding a handful of Hebi's men. Usagi and Hideo fell into step beside him.

"They will be held and questioned," Leo said. "Perhaps they will tell us something that will give us a clue as to Hebi's whereabouts."

One of the prisoners heard him and lifted hate filled eyes. "We shall tell you nothing," he snarled. "Lord Hebi has marked you, kame. You and the samurai have little time left; my master will see you dead before you ever find him."

"I doubt that," Leo told him. "Your master has shown himself to be treacherous, but not overly intelligent. I commend your loyalty as honorable, although your choice of master shows the same lack of intellect."

A curt nod to Hideo sent the Kuma over to the man in charge of the prisoners. Together they and a group of Leo's men rousted the prisoners, sending them marching towards the city prison.

Left to themselves, Leo and Usagi moved into the shade of a tall tree. There they spent a few quiet moments surveying the courtyard, littered with the dead and stained with the blood from their battle.

"Victory is beautiful, but its aftermath is not," Usagi observed.

Leo looked down at himself and sighed. "While I am happy to still be standing, I take no pleasure from that fact when I am covered in the blood of others."

"Nor do I," Usagi said. "Believe me when I say that I did not foresee our adventure together morphing into a war such as this, Leonardo. I would not have asked you to join me if I had known the dangers would grow so vast."

"But you have fulfilled your promise to show me some adventure," Leo said with a light laugh. "You shouldn't regret the fact that it was rather more than either of us bargained for."

Usagi was watching Leo and managed a slight smile. "You are philosophical and accepting of your fate. It pleases me that you adapt so easily."

"My Father would not be overly pleased with the amount of killing I have done," Leo said, Usagi's exact meaning escaping him for the moment. "But I believe he would understand that our fight against this evil warrants the drastic measures I've taken."

"Master Splinter is very wise," Usagi said. "Giving you his blessings in accompanying me was perhaps his way of telling you that he trusts your decisions and will honor your choices."

Leo's mind swept back over the day, his thoughts turning to the singular events involving his brothers. He understood that they had somehow joined their energies in meditation in order to reach out to him. It was a major feat and an incredible accomplishment for the three of them, and it filled Leo's heart with enormous joy. How they had known he needed them was still unexplainable, unless they were experiencing the same types of dreams as his.

He didn't want to read too much into that, afraid that his need for them would slant his perspective. But if they were reaching out to him in an acceptance of a similar need inside themselves, it lifted his spirits immensely.

What Usagi said about Master Splinter honoring his choices was still a cause of major concern. In most other things his sensei might show him total trust, but in this Leo could not escape his misgivings. A physical desire for his own brothers was certainly not something that Master Splinter as a father would condone.

Eyes fixed on the activity around him, Leo murmured, "There is still much to do here. For the moment, it seems that our adventures are meant to continue."

Leo did not see the satisfied smile that played along Usagi's mouth before the samurai managed to control his feelings. For a few moments, Usagi had been afraid that Leonardo's worry over Master Splinter's opinion of his battle tactics would drive the young ninja home.

Apparently such was not the case. If Usagi was reading his friend correctly, he sensed some inner turmoil still at play; one that Usagi had yet to determine. It had driven Leonardo from home and worried him still.

Usagi knew that he needed to learn the cause of Leonardo's unrest before he could urge his own petition onto the ninja. Leonardo's obvious reluctance to return home was a cause for much joy in the samurai.

Now that the most urgent battle had been fought and won, Usagi knew that it was time to begin pushing his agenda. He did not want to face another situation such as this without having told Leonardo of his feelings and desires.

And as Leonardo had not pulled away from Usagi's more subtle advances, the samurai took heart that possibly the ninja might be amenable to staying with him.

Perhaps Leonardo would even be willing to remain in the samurai's world forever, as Usagi's lover.

TBC….


	12. part 12

Fighting Desire  
part 12

The return to Lord Noriyuki's castle was not without its challenges. It took more than a week to ferret out the remainder of Hebi's loyalists who had hidden in Chibiko. There was also the task of reinstating the local government and arranging for the proper incarceration of those Hebi men who had been captured alive.

Leo was not a politician and had no interest in that part of the rebuilding process other than ensuring that the civilian authorities had control once more. Through questioning, he discovered that Hebi had been in Chibiko but had fled a mere day before Lord Noriyuki's troops began amassing outside the city.

Hebi's obvious lack of confidence in his men did not dissuade them from their loyalty to him, verifying Leo's surmise that they were, for the most part, bound to him through fear and greed. With Hebi's insurgence crushed and his troops destroyed, Leo was sure that no one would harbor the snake. After Leo expressed his belief that Hebi would soon be caught or would starve to death, Usagi had told him not to count on it. Hebi was nothing if not resourceful.

Supply shipments to the city had to be heavily guarded against marauders. Once Leo and Usagi felt that the residents of Chibiko were safe they took Lord Noriyuki's army, still under Leonardo's command, and swept the outlying areas.

This task required the better part of the next two weeks as they were not only clearing towns and villages of Hebi's loyalists and other random bandits, but they also had to search heavily wooded areas and mountainous regions. During this period they were able to confirm from some of their captives that Hebi had placed a bounty on both Leonardo and Usagi. He wanted their heads, whether the bodies were attached or not.

Nine weeks had passed since Leo and Usagi left Lord Noriyuki's castle and they were now within two day's ride of returning to it. The pair had few opportunities to be alone together since taking over the army; along with the daily tasks of reviewing the troops and giving field orders, they took most meals with Gen, Hideo, and Daisuke.

Many of their days had been taken up with riding or fighting and Leo barely had time to think beyond the most immediate situation. At night when he was in his bed, Leo often fell into an exhausted and dreamless sleep.

Those nights when his thoughts would not allow him sleep, Leo's mind wandered to his brothers. No day passed that he didn't think of them. The miracle of their appearance during the fight in Chibiko was something he dwelt upon frequently. Likewise, he thought of the other instances when he had felt close to them during his absence from his family.

Chibiko was not the last time he'd experienced a bond with his brothers; he often did during his times at rest. Whenever Leo did dream, it was usually one of his brothers that came to him. In one such dream, Michelangelo had pulled him into an embrace, whispering against his head that he was waiting for Leo to come home and fix everything.

When Leo had asked for an explanation, Mikey had leaned back to look him squarely in the eye.

_"You know exactly what I'm talking about,"_ Mikey had said. _"Everyone is trying to ignore their feelings, even you. But dude, you're our leader. It's up to you to make us acknowledge what's going on in our hearts and accept how we need to be together. How we all need to be together."_

Leo had tried, even in this dream, to avoid the implications. _"You have no idea what it is you're asking for,"_ he had told Mikey.

_"Pfft, 'course I know,"_ Mikey had responded. _"And I know what it'll mean for all of us, how difficult it'll be to start with. I also know I'm gonna be with you guys forever 'cause that's what I want. I wanna be with you in every way possible. Forever. It's up to you to make it happen."_

With that Mikey had leaned in and lightly brushed Leo's lips with a kiss. The touch had felt like no more than the wing of a butterfly fluttering across Leo's skin. His brother had faded then, the blue of his eyes a mere memory, but Leo had awakened with tears in his.

As occupied as he was with his new duties, Leo could not help but notice a change in Usagi's attitude towards him. It was something that Leo had noticed on the day of the battle for Chibiko, but he felt as though the shift had occurred even before that. Leo knew that Usagi had invited him on this journey on the pretext of offering his kame friend an adventure, but he had also wanted to help Leo sort out whatever had been causing the ninja's feelings of restlessness.

Usagi had expected that Leo would at some point during their journey feel free to discuss what was bothering him, this Leo knew. His samurai friend had certainly given Leo the opportunity to open up to him many times. The private things that Usagi had shared had more firmly solidified their friendship and Leo knew in his heart that his friend would understand Leo's dilemma.

Leo had been unable to voice what was in his heart. He didn't believe that Usagi would think less of him for desiring another male; Usagi had after all explained the relationship that the ronin had shared with his own Master. Usagi had likewise expressed a willingness to someday forge a similar type of relationship with an apprentice, so the concept of a same sex bond did not seem at all wrong.

The problem that continued to haunt Leo was his growing need for a bond of this type with his own brothers. In the nine weeks that he'd been on Usagi's world, Leo had yet to find a satisfactory answer to the problem that had made him flee his home in the first place.

Rather than his desires diminishing with his absence, Leo felt as though they were growing. His dreams, when he had them, carried images of his brothers. Leo could feel them; not just in the incredible occurrences during the fight in Chibiko, but now in everyday events. They seemed almost to be calling him and as in the dream he'd had about Mikey, they were consistent in their message.

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The meditation circle that Raph, Don, and Mikey had forged when they went in to save Leo was the first and last one the brothers attempted during the oldest brother's absence.

They had each fallen back into their bodies feeling exhausted, sore, and disoriented. When their eyes had opened, they'd look at one another without saying a word. Then Raph had leaned over and begun blowing out the candles nearest him. Don and Mikey had followed suit, their knees rubbing together as they moved.

Raph was the first to stand. Gold eyes glowing, all he'd said was, "Going ta bed."

Don and Mikey watched him leave. They could almost see the emotion swirling around Raph's body as he walked. Behind him he left a room filled with his vitality and virility.

"We just did that, right?" Mikey asked.

Don drew a deep breath and struggled to his feet. The movement brought a familiar scent with it and Don realized it was Leo's. Bringing his hand to his face, he delicately sniffed the fingers he'd used to guide Leo's hand. They smelt strongly of his brother.

Mikey was now standing next to him, curiosity written all over his face. Don held his hand out and Mikey leaned over and caught a whiff of Leo's scent mingled with Don's. The mixture was so heady that Mikey almost lost his equilibrium for a moment. When he finally looked up, he saw a light sheen of moisture covering Don's expressive brown eyes.

"Yes, Mikey," Don whispered, his feelings so strong that they closed his throat. "We did that."

Don was out of the dojo before Mikey snapped out of it enough to follow. Entering his lab without looking back, Don quietly closed the door, a sure sign that he didn't want to be disturbed.

Mikey leaned against the doorjamb and looked around the lair. Everything was absolutely silent; Master Splinter was apparently in his room and Raph's bedroom door was closed.

Pushing away for the door, Mikey sluggishly made his way up the stairs, heading for his own room. He really wanted to talk about what they'd just done, but neither of his brothers appeared inclined towards company. It seemed really strange to Mikey that as a family they had accomplished something of such magnitude only to now separate and hide from one another.

Hiding was what they continued to do for the next three weeks. They couldn't avoid one another completely, but practice sessions were sketchy at best and formal meals non-existent. Raphael was sullen, Donatello withdrawn, and Michelangelo adrift. The brothers were not antagonistic when they did happen to be in the same room together; it was more a matter of awkwardness and embarrassment.

It was as though having shared something so intimate they were now too uncomfortable to face it again. Raph could spend his time with Casey, and Don's outlet was his computers and projects with April. Mikey sank wholly into his games and fantasy world, but he surfaced long enough to know that none of them were really living.

Each of the four brothers had an important role in anchoring their family, and with Leo gone an important corner post in their foundation was missing.

Mikey could not imagine that he was the first one to realize that, but maybe he was the first to acknowledge it. His longing for his brothers did not disappear with Leo's absence; if anything it grew stronger. He now began to believe that his siblings might be wrestling with that same type of desire.

If that were true, then Mikey felt like he should be elated. The only problem was that with Leo gone, none of them were going to admit to anything, not even Mikey. Leo was the fearless one and the leader for a reason.

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It was when they were so close to Lord Noriyuki's castle that they chanced upon a solid lead to Hebi's whereabouts. A villager had been certain he'd seen the snake, accompanied by a small contingent of warriors, ride into a nearby mountainous region. His story was supported by both the theft of a large amount of food stuffs and wagon tracks going in the reported direction.

Since Hebi couldn't ride a horse, the wagon was a fairly tell-tale sign. Leo, anxious for an end to the snake's game, called a meeting of his senior staff.

"We should take a large force into the mountains and pull him out of hiding," Daisuke said insistently.

"You are assuming that you can find him. That many men will only provide him enough warning so that he may disappear as he has done in the past," Hideo pointed out.

"Too small a force will take forever to search through that terrain," Kai said, leaning back in his chair as he rubbed his shoulder. The injury was healing well, but it itched terribly.

Leonardo listened in silence as his men discussed their options. They all wanted to locate Hebi in order to finally put him down for good and they were quite impassioned on the subject.

Usagi barely attended the discussion, his eyes fixed on Leonardo. He knew the look on his friend's face well; while the others talked and argued, the kame general had reached a decision.

"Usagi and I are going after him alone," Leo said with quiet determination.

Several voices rose at once but Leo's uplifted palm silenced them. "I'm an expert tracker, but I can't follow a trail that's been wiped out by a lot of men and horses trampling all over it. By all reports, the group of fighters he has with him is small and two of us can handle them. If this is Hebi, I don't want him to realize he's being followed."

Gen crossed his arms and shifted the toothpick he was chewing on from one side of his mouth to the other. "It could be a trap," he pointed out. "The two of you shouldn't go alone."

"If it is a trap then perhaps we should allow him to spring it," Usagi said, turning his eyes to Gennosuke. "Doing so will force him into the open. Our awareness of his guile will allow us to turn his trap into one of our own."

"We'll break camp in the morning and head back to Lord Noriyuki's castle," Leo said. "Usagi and I will ride along for a couple of hours, then we'll leave and double back on our own. Daisuke, take the men home, they need and deserve a break. Gen, please apprise Lord Noriyuki of the situation and let him know that Usagi and I will return as soon as possible."

"How long should we wait before we come back to look for you?" Hideo asked, not pleased with being separated from the two fighters who had trained him.

"Don't come looking for us, Hideo," Leo said. "If we manage to capture Hebi, we'll return to the castle fairly quickly. He might still be moving and if that's the case we'll follow until we catch up to him. That could take a while."

"But if something happens, you'll have no backup," Kai protested.

"If something happens, you won't be on time to stop it anyway," Leo pointed out. Straightening, he told the men, "Some situations call for the strength of an army, others require but a few men. We all want Hebi and this opportunity is the best that's been presented to us. The decision is made."

Gen and Daisuke took that as a dismissal and left the tent. Hideo and Kai stood up, but rather than leaving, they glanced at one another and then Hideo cleared his throat.

"Three men are better than two," Hideo said. "Four would be best, but Kai's injury limits his ability to fight. Take me with you; my presence won't hamper you and my sword will be useful."

Leo pushed back his chair and stood slowly. Setting his hand on Hideo's shoulder, Leo said, "Your offer fills me with pride, Hideo, but I can't accept it. In most situations, three men would be better, however in this case two must be enough. Usagi and I have fought together many, many times and have a unique understanding that would only be hampered by the presence of another fighter."

Hideo's mouth was set in a grim line, but he did not express the fear that he would not see his commander again. Leonardo appeared confident that he and Usagi would survive their task; it was not Hideo's place to argue that point.

"Very well," Hideo said. "I will honor your decision because I must and I will offer you safe journey. We will be waiting for you at Lord Noriyuki's castle."

"Thank you, Hideo," Leo said, removing his hand and then looking over at Kai, who had a strange expression on his face. "And you as well, Kai. Give that shoulder time to heal."

Kai looked from Leo to Usagi and then back again. The glance was both questioning and contemplative, but all Kai said was, "I will, Leonardo-san. I pray that you both will take care."

With a bow, Hideo and Kai left the tent. Leo sank into his chair, turning slightly so he was facing Usagi.

"I didn't ask if you wanted to embark on this hunt with me," Leo said with a wry smile.

"That is because you knew you did not have to ask," Usagi replied.

"We have come full circle and returned to our original adventure." Leo's eyes twinkled despite the seriousness of their mission.

"You and I, alone against Hebi," Usagi acknowledged. "It seems fitting, does it not? We have done great things thus far and I would diminish none of them, yet it does not feel as though we have closure."

"That's because Hebi is still out there," Leo said. "As long as he is free, such fights as the one in Chibiko will continue. Many innocent lives will be lost."

"Thus your decision to leave the battlefield and begin to hunt once more?" Usagi asked.

Leo smiled. "I'm pleased to have had the opportunity to lead an army, but in my soul I am a ninja. I will always feel most at home in the shadows."

"You could have told Hideo that and set his mind at ease," Usagi said.

Shaking his head, Leo said, "Hideo and Kai have gone from village youths to adult soldiers in a matter of just a few weeks. We have been with them through every step and now they are feeling adrift. Nothing I could have said would have made Hideo happy with my choice."

"Ah, then this decision was not only to allow us a better chance at catching Hebi, but to also divest yourself of the leadership mantle," Usagi observed.

Leo met his eyes. "I wear it full time at home, Usagi. Perhaps I needed this time in your world so that I could better understand myself without the weight of that responsibility pressuring my every waking moment."

"And what have you learned, Leonardo?" Usagi asked, curious. This was the first time his friend had eluded to something other than a feeling of restlessness as his motivation for agreeing to this journey.

Leo looked towards the tent flap for a moment and then down at the table. He was drawing idle circles on its top with one finger as he thought about his answer.

"Something is missing in my life," Leo finally answered. "Something I need, something beyond merely existing."

"A fulfillment that does not come from merely living a warrior's existence?" Usagi asked softly, hope flaring in his heart.

The ninja said nothing for a moment, his eyes glued to the continuous movement of his own finger. Usagi watched him, holding his tongue as his friend took the time to examine a part of himself that was deeply buried.

"Yes," Leo said, nodding. He was nowhere ready to admit out loud that he believed himself to be in love with his brothers, but it felt good to elude to the thing that had been eating him.

"One can be surrounded by friends and family and still feel a certain loneliness," Usagi told him. "It is the nature of all living things to require a special bond, and with higher forms comes a need for a continuing closeness."

Sounds outside of the tent reminded them of the flurry of activity that came with preparations to break camp. Leo blinked a few times, as though pulling himself out of a deep reverie and stood up.

"Duty calls," Leo said, trying for a smile.

Usagi was afraid that once this contemplative spell lifted, it would be some time before Leo would open up to him again. With a boldness he hadn't attempted before, Usagi stood up as well, and stepped around the table to block Leo's exit.

"Leonardo-san, there is something I must share with you before you leave this tent," Usagi said.

Leo's brow furrowed as he looked at his friend. Usagi appeared to be tense, but there was some other emotion buried there as well.

"What is it?" Leo asked as his eyes searched Usagi's.

"Did you notice the expression on Kai's face and the look that passed between he and Hideo before they left us?" Usagi asked.

Leo thought a moment, recalling that moment with clarity. He'd had a fleeting thought that his men had more they'd wanted to say, but had decided against it.

"Yes," Leo said. "Is something wrong?"

Taking a deep breath, Usagi said, "There has been a rumor for some time now that you and I are more than friends. I believe Hideo would have continued to argue your decision if he did not think you and I wanted to be on our own once again."

Usagi watched Leonardo's face, but his friend's countenance was an immobile mask. Whether the implication was a surprise, something that he'd already known, or an idea he'd himself contemplated, Leo's expression gave away nothing.

"That kind of gossip was probably inevitable," Leo said, his voice flat. "There is no other entertainment for the men, and we are an odd pair of friends."

"I thought that you should know," Usagi said. "I have ignored it until now; it has not been the cause of any problems, but the rumors will grow once the troops learn of our plan."

"Hideo's offer to accompany us was his way of giving us an opportunity to stop the talk?" Leo asked.

"Partly that, I think," Usagi said. "He is very protective of our honor."

Leo contemplated that and said, "Even if there were truth to the rumor, our honor would be intact, Usagi. We have done nothing wrong and innuendo cannot blemish someone."

"This is true, but it is the loss of respect that troubles Hideo and Kai. There are many who would not care, but it is the ones who feel their morality is being tested who could cause dissension in the ranks," Usagi said.

"By midmorning tomorrow the men will belong to Daisuke once more and the talk cannot damage my ability to lead them," Leo reminded him. "I don't like that it might diminish you in their eyes though; this is your world and you have to live amongst them."

"Do not worry about me, Leonardo," Usagi said. "I am a ronin after all and I normally do not surround myself with the company of others. This situation has been unusual in many ways and as such, it is the first time I have fought side by side with so many. I do not foresee doing so again, but if it were to happen, I would not be in such a prominent role as this."

"Then neither of us will worry ourselves greatly about these rumors," Leo said. "When we are gone, there will be other things to occupy the men's thoughts."

Before Leo could move off, Usagi asked, "Leonardo-san, may I ask a question?"

"Of course," Leo said. He began to feel bad that his leadership role had left so little time for he and Usagi to talk since it now appeared that there were a number of things Usagi had been holding back from him.

"If you and Hideo's roles were reversed, would it concern you that your commander was intimately involved with another male under his command?" Usagi watched Leo's face carefully as he spoke.

"That is a broad question, Usagi," Leo replied. "If this is specific to our situation, then strictly speaking, you are not under my command. You are a special liaison for Lord Noriyuki and answer directly to him. They all know that we are equals in that regard.

"As far as the question of intimacy goes, if the affair does not affect my commander's performance in the line of duty, if he shows no favoritism or makes any gross miscalculations because of it, then I would find no cause to think twice about my commander's personal business. If you want to know would I follow a commander who preferred the company of another male where intimacy was concerned, the answer is I would. I would do my duty under any circumstance because it is my duty. Personally, I do not care about an individual's sexual preference."

They heard Gen calling for them and both looked towards the tent flap. Leo turned back to Usagi, prepared to remain as long as his friend had questions, but Usagi smiled.

"We will have time for further discussion tomorrow," Usagi said. "Today you are still a commander with the heavy weight of duties riding your shoulders. The men respect you, have no fear of that."

"Thank you my friend," Leo said softly before striding out of the tent.

Usagi relaxed slowly as he allowed the nervousness to fall from his body. In only a few minutes conversation, he had received answers to questions that had plagued him with regards to Leo's mindset on the topic closest to Usagi's heart.

Perhaps it was the realization that he was about to be relieved of his burdens that had prompted the turtle to speak more candidly than he had ever done in the past. Perhaps it had been the revelation regarding the rumors that were floating about. Whichever was the case, Usagi had pushed past a barrier that had been between he and Leonardo and was elated at having done so.

Tomorrow it would be just the two of them again. Whatever happened, Usagi would take every opportunity from that point forward to help Leonardo see that the thing that was missing in his life, the thing that the ninja was searching for and needed, was Usagi.

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Master Splinter surveyed his home with a critical eye. He had been quick to grant Leonardo permission to embark on a journey of discovery because he sensed that something was amiss in his eldest sons psyche.

Knowing that Leonardo's inner self was out of balance and being unable to discern the reason, Master Splinter had enlisted the aid of his son's greatest friend. When Usagi had suggested that Leonardo accompany him for a period of time, Master Splinter was of course bound to honor Usagi's request. It was, after all, what Master Splinter had asked of the samurai; to try to assist Leonardo in finding his way.

Master Splinter had seen mirroring acts of unusual behavior from his other three sons and knew that the ordeal of 'growing up' was partly to blame. Raging hormones, unrequited desires, and mood swings were dominate among the things his children were dealing with. This he understood and did his best to accommodate.

Removing Leonardo from the equation seemed a good idea; his mind and body would be occupied with new experiences as he came to grips with the changes inside of him. With the eldest gone, the mood should have mellowed for Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo.

Leonardo's strive for perfection antagonized the red banded Turtle and Raphael's natural resistance to being led infuriated the chosen leader. Together they were oftentimes a powder keg. It was Leonardo's iron control that kept the situation from being as bad as it could be and it was the oldest son's will that held Raphael in line.

With Leonardo's restlessness came less patience and the two most dominant males in the lair were at each other's throats more often as of late. When they were not fighting, Master Splinter noticed a strange tendency the two had for gravitating towards each other. Though that often did not end well, they continued to seek each other's company. It was as though they required the self-inflicted pain.

This unhealthy attachment was something Master Splinter knew that he must break and played a part in the decision to summon Usagi. And though Raphael seemed to resent Leonardo's presence, the passionate Turtle now seemed to resent his brother's absence.

For once in his life, Master Splinter was at a loss as to how to help his children. The three who had remained behind seemed lost without Leonardo to steer them. Rather than offer each other the comfort of a familial bond, they went out of their way to avoid each other.

Master Splinter shook his head and went in search of Donatello. He would once more query his genius child about the changes that were occurring, although the sensei knew his son would once more tell him they missed Leonardo and nothing else was wrong.

Afterwards, Master Splinter would go to Michelangelo and then to Raphael. Each in turn would return the exact same answer with a stubbornness that defied their Father's authority.

When he had made the rounds Master Splinter would accept another day of defeat, brew some tea, and attempt in meditation to discover why his family appeared to be falling apart.

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"There has been no effort to disguise this trail, Leonardo-san," Usagi said. "Even to my untrained eyes it is noticeable."

"The tracks separate here," Leo said, scanning the rough terrain. "The horses went north, but the wagon wheel impressions show that it turned to the west. The same path was used by two different sets of travelers. You can see that the wagon passed through here days before the riders."

"I do not understand," Usagi said as he stood up and brushed the dirt from his knees. "Hebi would not separate from his body guards. Only two horses rode alongside the wagon; that snake would never leave himself so defenseless."

"Then it probably isn't Hebi," Leo said, passing a hand across his forehead.

The day was hot and the path into the mountains that they'd followed was dusty. The pair had ridden non-stop after leaving Lord Noriyuki's troops, nibbling on dried fruit and cakes of rice as they travelled.

Leo had noticed early on that the wagon and the horse riders had approached from two separate directions and converged on the only known passable trail into the rocks. He'd seen the difference in weathering between the two sets of tracks immediately. Even though he had a sinking feeling in his gut that told him this was not Hebi, he'd said nothing on the off chance that somehow the snake and his men had gotten separated and were now making for an agreed upon rendezvous.

The splitting off of the two parties was a good indicator that Leo's first assumption was correct. They were probably following bandits or marauders as reported by the villagers, but it was very doubtful that Hebi was in this particular wagon.

"I am afraid that I agree with your assessment," Usagi said, patting his horse's neck. "However, we must be sure."

"Yes," Leo said. "We'll stay with the wagon tracks. It appears to be following the contour along the base of the mountain and will be easy enough to follow. Since it is such an old track, we may be out here for a while."

Usagi climbed back into his saddle and turned his horse so that he could follow Leo's.

As fate would have it, they were not on the trail much longer before they suddenly came across the wagon. One wheel had broken completely off and was hopelessly beyond repair. The wagon had been stripped of its load, the contents distributed amongst four horses, and the wagons driver had transferred to one of the horses that had been pulling the wagon.

All of this Leo could easily read from the tracks that had been left. The change in weight on the horses told him of the distribution of the load, and since he had memorized the shoe marks of each of the four horses, he knew that one of wagon horses was now carrying a rider.

Leo saw that other wagons had passed along this trail before, but the tracks were very old. This trail was obviously well-used and due to the current state of affairs and the price on Hebi's head, not one the snake would choose.

"No doubt these were merely the bandits who are responsible for the food theft in the last village," Usagi said, his disappointment clear.

"I don't believe that anyone actually saw Hebi," Leo said. "They probably told us that so we'd pursue these men and recover their losses."

"Do you want to go after them?" Usagi asked.

Leo sighed deeply. "No," he said, shaking his head. "They are days ahead of us and I'm sure Lord Noriyuki would like a report on this sooner than later. Besides, you have been away from your home for over two months, I'm sure you'd like to take a short break."

Usagi smiled. "Leonardo, I have no home. The few possessions that I do not carry with me are kept in a room at Lord Noriyuki's castle; mine to use whenever I am there. It is not my home. This is my life; traveling from place to place and rarely in one for more than a fortnight."

"That seems a rather lonely life," Leo said quietly.

"It wasn't always," Usagi replied with just a hint of wistfulness in his voice.

Leo remembered the story Usagi had told him of his Master and was instantly abashed. "Usagi, I'm sorry," he apologized quickly.

"Do not be, my friend," Usagi said. "I would rather be reminded of that time than to lose the memory. May I make a suggestion?"

"Anything," Leo said.

"If we ride continuously, we can arrive at the orphanage before midnight. I have some goods and coins that I would like to give them. They will put us up for the night," Usagi said.

Leo thought of the peaceful interlude that he and Usagi had spent at the orphanage at the beginning of their journey. He knew from just that short time how dedicated Usagi was to the well-being of those parentless children.

"I would like that," Leo said. "To be honest, I have a small collection of things that I was going to ask you to give to the children."

With a mischievous grin, Usagi hopped into the saddle and watched as Leo mounted. "Now you can give them to the children yourself. I am sure your 'girlfriend' will reward you with another kiss."

Usagi spurred his horse into a gallop and laughing, Leo followed. A night, possibly two, in the company of innocent children sounded very refreshing to the Turtle. The taint of death was riding heavily on Leo and he needed some time away from fighting, hunting, and killing to rid himself of some of it.

His mind turned to the conversation he and Usagi had been having the day before. Leo had gotten the feeling that there was more on the samurai's mind than he'd had the chance to say. Today had been taken up with hard riding and a watchfulness that didn't invite dialogue.

Leo thought about the subject that Usagi seemed determined to address and wondered if his friend's questions had been an attempt to gauge Leo's sexual preferences. Usagi had never asked him outright; it would have been out of character for the samurai to have done so. He had asked Leo once about his sexual experience, but that had been when Usagi was warning him that being captured could involve his being raped.

Usagi was very intelligent and the hypothetical question tactic was exactly one his friend would use to attempt to ascertain what had been bothering Leo. The direction that conversation had taken told Leo that Usagi might have guessed the dilemma the Turtle was facing. Maybe that was what Leo had wanted all along, to have Usagi figure out the truth on his own so that Leo could talk about it without having brought it up himself.

A quiet respite at the orphanage would afford them the opportunity to talk without interruption. Leo decided it was time to tell Usagi what was uppermost in his mind and the primary cause of his restlessness. If Usagi had guessed that Leo was attracted to his own brothers, as Leo was sure he had, then his friend was obviously not put off by the subject. Usagi's advice, if he chose to give some, would be useful. If all he was willing to do was listen, well that would be useful too.

Leo contemplated the various ramifications of having a physical relationship with one of his brothers. High amongst them was the fact that Leonardo was their leader. He had just answered Usagi's question on that subject yesterday.

As long as it didn't interfere with his ability to command. Isn't that what he'd said to Usagi? Could Leo practice what he'd preached? If he became physically involved with a brother, could he remain dispassionate about him during a battle? The answer was probably no. But if they were all four involved; if all four of them were intimate with one another, then the status quo remained the same.

Leo had been away from home for two months and had spent nearly all of that time avoiding the subject that he'd specifically come on this journey to work through. Now he let it flood his mind; all of the ramifications, all of the arguments for and against. He would have the entire subject laid out succinctly by the time he and Usagi talked again. Then Leo would present his problem in as logical a manner as possible.

The one thing that Leo finally understood was that he could not continue to run away from his desires. His brothers were waiting for him to lead them along this path in their lives; his interactions with them in dreams and in Chibiko told him that with certainty. They wanted something more and so did he.

Whatever was to occur, Leo now knew that he had to go home to find his answers. Home, where he would bravely face the consequences of his desire.

TBC….


	13. Part 13

Fighting Desire  
part 13

When Leo and Usagi reached the orphanage, it was well past midnight. Their thoughts of getting a few of hours sleep were quickly erased upon discovering that a bad storm had made a shambles of a section of the building.

Fortunately, no one had been hurt, but since there was a question as to the stability of the rest of the structure, the children and their adult caretakers had been living in make-shift huts, with sides that were open to the elements and roofs that leaked when it rained.

Leo was nowhere as good an engineer as Donatello but he had enough basic knowledge and skill to be able to assess the primary damage. He would wait until morning when there was more light to make a final determination but Leo had a fairly good idea of what needed to be done in order to rebuild the children's home.

He and Usagi worked together to clear away the debris that was strewn about, using a bright moon and the light of a campfire to see by. Near dawn, the head mistress of the orphanage finally stopped the pair and urged them to get some rest. They each accepted the bowl of warm soup she pressed into their hands and when they realized they were almost too tired to lift the edge of the bowls to their mouths, they acknowledged that it was time to stop working for a while.

Exhausted, the two of them crawled into their bedrolls. Assured by the woman that she would wake them if anyone approached, both Leo and Usagi were asleep almost before their heads touched the bedding.

Leo's internal alarm clock woke him two hours later. They had bedded down in an area away from the children and he could hear them as they gathered for breakfast. Rising quickly, Leo took a few minutes to stretch before walking over to get a good look at the children's home.

In about ten minutes he was joined by Usagi, who contemplated the structure as well.

"Most of the building is intact," Usagi said.

Leo nodded. "Structurally, I would say it is sound. It looks as if this section was hit by a small microburst of air, a rush of wind that's strong enough to tear things apart. If we had the raw materials and an extra pair or two of hands, we could put this back together in a couple of days."

With a sigh, Usagi said, "I had hoped to provide the children with new clothes and food enough to fill the larder. The gold coins I took from Hebi's assassins will have to pay for this instead."

"Is it enough?" Leo asked curiously.

He hadn't paid attention to what the dead men carried in their pockets; it was enough to know that Hebi had taken to sending hired killers to slay him and Usagi. Even surrounded by an army, those times had been frequent enough.

Now Usagi grinned as he said, "The amounts became larger with each unsuccessful attempt. It is more than enough."

Borrowing the orphanage's wagon, the pair rode into the village and purchased the building supplies that they needed. They easily found two able bodied men who were willing to work for them and after stopping to buy food, the group rode back to the orphanage.

The entire day was given over to the rebuilding of the orphanage. With the supplies they'd purchased and a bit of planning, the building was reshaped to accommodate additional square footage.

Even though the work was hard and the day hot, Leo had never felt better. All that he had accomplished in this world, all the lives he'd saved, did not give him the same deep satisfaction that he got from this opportunity to create something with his own two hands.

He was beginning to understand how Donatello felt when he built something for his family. Leo knew that Don drove himself because he wanted to make sure his family was safe, but Leo also knew that Don used his genius in order to give them something more.

It was past dark when Usagi finally stopped Leo.

"The workers have eaten and are sleeping, Leonardo-san. It is time you do the same. The work will be here in the morning," Usagi said.

Leo brushed dirt from his hands. "I'll remember this the next time I have to force Don to stop working and get some rest," he said. "It's hard to pull yourself away from a project once you're on a roll."

"Here there is always much to do," Usagi said. "Men fight for power and the innocent are caught between them. With each battle, I try to remember that if I do not defend those who stand for what is right and good, like our young Lord Noriyuki, then I will be leaving these children defenseless."

"You're building their future as well as building their home," Leo said.

"_We_ are building their home," Usagi ventured to say. He decided to push his agenda a bit more since it was quiet and they were alone. "Without you, none of what has been accomplished would have been possible. Here in my world, you are a man of great worth, one of few who could change things for the better."

"It was my pleasure to be able to do what I could," Leo said, sensing that Usagi was leading up to something.

"The option to continue to accomplish great things is yours, Leonardo-san," Usagi said. "Choice is the ultimate in freedoms. It would be an honor for me to have you remain in my world. Your home is only a portal away if you wished to visit your family, but if you lived here you could make a difference in the lives of so very many. These children are just one small example."

Leo was staring at Usagi intently as his friend's words sank in. "Stay here for good?" he asked.

"Yes." Usagi took a step closer. "I have thought much about this. You are a leader and a great warrior; it is natural for you. In your world you must live in darkness without the opportunity to grow to your fullest potential. Here you could change an entire world and you would always be surrounded and supported by friends."

"That . . . isn't something I've ever considered," Leo said.

"You have trained for your entire life to be a leader," Usagi reminded him. "Would not Master Splinter be proud for his son to accept that role on a much large scale than is possible on your world?"

Leo had the feeling that some of Usagi's offer had to do with his friend's loneliness; possibly that it had a great deal to do with it. He could certainly sympathize with Usagi's need to share experiences with a kindred spirit, but Leo's desire to remain in this world had only been a fleeting thought at one time during their journey.

That was before Leo had come to understand that he couldn't run from his heart, no matter where he went or for how long. Usagi's words were very enticing on one level, but their allure wasn't nearly as strong as Leo's own brothers were.

"The idea is appealing," Leo said slowly, choosing his words carefully. "I've certainly learned a lot about myself these last few weeks; things I would never have gotten the chance to know if I'd remained back home. I have spent my life training to be a leader, Usagi, but it was to be the leader of my clan. That is where my duty lies; it may be small compared to all of this, but it is no less important. Whatever happens in my life, I cannot leave my brothers."

Usagi took a deep breath to push down his disappointment. He would have been ecstatic if Leonardo had accepted his proposal, but somehow Usagi knew he would not. Not yet at least; the idea was too new and hadn't had time to sink in. Perhaps the more time Leonardo spent helping the orphans and letting the invitation to remain on this world play through his mind would aid in changing it.

"Your family has your heart, as it should," Usagi said. "There comes a time in life when we must all pursue our soul as well, in order to be true to ourselves. Come and sleep now, this day has been tiring."

Leo did not sleep right away, though he could feel the drowsiness seeping into his body. Usagi sat not far off, keeping watch for any assassins who might have learned of their whereabouts. It was the type of vigil they had become accustomed to; their enemy seemed to have vast resources when it came to hiring killers.

That thought brought with it concern for his samurai friend. Leo would be going home to New York City soon, leaving Usagi on his own once more. Although the ronin had said this was the life of his choosing and the dangers were a part of it, Leo could not help but feel that his leaving would be an abandonment of sorts.

He fell asleep with that thought uppermost in his mind and dreamt of destroying Hebi. Finding that snake would put an end to his tyranny and was probably the only thing that would assuage Leo's feelings of guilt over leaving his friend behind. If only Hebi weren't as slippery as his reptilian name implied.

Just past noon the next day the work was complete enough for Usagi to pay off the hired workers and send them back to the village with the head mistress. With her he sent the remainder of his coins so that she could purchase food and replace some of the bedding that had been lost to the storm.

Until now, the children had not been allowed near the building, but with the structure intact again, they were all given tasks to ready it for occupancy. As they swept, mopped, dusted and scrubbed, Leo and Usagi put the finishing touches on the inside. Hanging window coverings and installing rice paper doors, the pair was entertained and delighted by the children's singing and laughter.

At one point the same little girl who had previously kissed Leonardo made her way over to him and tugged on his belt to get his attention.

When he kneeled down to look at her, she asked shyly, "Will you eat with us this evening?"

"That is a very kind thing of you to ask," Leo told her with a smile. "I would enjoy being able to eat with you."

Swinging from side to side, she touched his wrist guard lightly, turning her eyes to it as well as she worked up courage for her next question. "Will you sit next to me?" Her voice was lower and Leo had to strain to hear, but he was touched by the request.

"If you would like for me to, I will," Leo said.

"Yes, please," she said, lifting her eyes to his for just a second before she skipped away.

When he stood up, Leo saw Usagi looking at him, a small smile on his face. There was more than just the simple humor of watching his friend react to a little girl's crush, there was also a touch of complacency in Usagi's expression, as though the short interaction had proven some point.

For the first time since they began traveling together, Leo started to feel a touch of unease in his friend's company. He had already noticed and acknowledged a change in Usagi, but now he wondered if his friend had a hidden agenda of some kind. Perhaps it was all tied in with Usagi's suggestion that Leo remain in this world, something that Leo could not do. If Usagi was determined to sway Leo's decision, he would certainly not hesitate to point out how Leo's presence had affected a young girl's life for the better. If Leo were in his friend's position, he would use every possible advantage as well.

The evening meal was something of a celebration as the children returned to the comfort of the place they called home. True to his word, Leo took his place on a floor pillow next to the girl who had befriended him.

"What is your name?" Leo asked as they began to eat.

"Mayu," she told him. "What is yours, please?"

"I am called Leonardo," he answered.

"Leo~nardo," Mayu said slowly, trying the vowels on her tongue. "It is a strong name."

"How old are you, Mayu?" Leo asked.

"I am five," Mayu said proudly. "I have lived here since I was three."

Leo saw the bright animation in her face and knew that this home had been good to her. Looking around at what little they had, he was happy to have been able to make a difference and a bit sad at what fate had offered little Mayu.

"Do you have lessons during the day?" Leo asked.

Mayu nodded and finished chewing her food before speaking, obviously remembering her manners. "We learn in this room. The older ones sit over there," she explained, pointing to one side of the room. "They are working on much harder lessons. I am not ready for those yet. My brother and sister were taking lessons before the bad men came."

Leo felt his heart jump in his chest and though he didn't want to upset her, he felt compelled to ask, "The bad men?"

Mayu nodded. "The ones who came to our home at night and killed my family," she answered in a matter-of-fact way. "They did not see me because I was too small. They took everything they could carry and then burned my home. I do not know why they did it. Do you, Leonardo-san?"

Leo shook his head. "I'm afraid I do not, Mayu. Men like that have hearts that are covered in blackness so that no one can see into them."

Mayu was watching him intently. "I miss my brother and sister, even though sometimes they made fun of me because I was small. Do you have brothers and sisters?"

Leo smiled. "Yes, I have three brothers and we sometimes fight too."

"But not all of the time," Mayu said. "Sometimes we shared secrets and played games. I play with my new family here, but I don't share secrets anymore. Those were only for my brother and sister."

"That is understandable," Leo said, a bit more of his heart reaching out to the little girl.

"Do you have a wife, Leonardo-san?" Mayu asked.

"No, I am not married," Leo told her.

"Do you not desire to have children?" Mayu was staring avidly at Leo's face.

"I am afraid that I cannot," Leo said. "There are only four of my kind and we are all male."

"If you do not marry, who will you love?" Mayu asked.

Leo looked down at his bowl, his eyes growing distant. "That is a very good question, Mayu."

When the meal was over, Leo walked Mayu to the girls section of the building and bade her goodnight. As she had done the first time they met, Mayu tugged on Leo's belt until he knelt down to her level. This time the kiss she planted on his cheek was more precocious than shy and it made him smile as she turned and raced to her bed.

Usagi was waiting for him at the entrance to the building, his expression denoting amusement.

"You have enchanted that child," Usagi said.

Leo glanced back towards where he'd left Mayu and then turned to tell Usagi, "She has seen so many horrors, yet she seems to be a happy little girl."

They walked out into the night together, enjoying the crisp air and the brightness of the stars overhead.

"It is because she has hope, Leonardo-san," Usagi said. "Hope enables one to look forward rather than back. For the children here, it is the dream that someone will come to adopt them and give them a parent's love. The small efforts that we have made will give this orphanage the advantage of a good appearance and that as much as the children themselves will influence potential adoptive parents."

"But there must be many others who do not have the good fortune to have a benefactor such as yourself," Leo said. "What of them?"

Usagi looked up at the sky and even in the dark Leo could see the pain on his friend's face. "There are too many," he acknowledged. "What has been done to those children cannot be undone. It is my mission to ensure that no additional children suffer their fate."

He turned his eyes to Leo and said, "You were once an orphan too, Leonardo-san. Great fortune smiled on you when Master Splinter adopted you and your brothers. Mayu holds onto the hope of such a thing happening for her. In you she sees a strong and capable champion, and also a bit of herself. It is possible that she may harbor dreams of calling you 'Father'."

"I can't do that for her," Leo said with some alarm. "I don't want to hurt her, but I didn't know that she might be thinking such a thing."

"It is not your fault, my friend," Usagi told him. "I have had some of the children think the same of me. While they know such is not to come about, I can still provide them with a big brother from time to time."

Leo smiled. "I can see how happy they are when you are here," he said. "I can't even offer that much to Mayu."

They arrived at their camp sight and took a moment to stoke the fire. They could have slept inside with the children, but neither wanted to chance having an enemy approach them within those walls.

Usagi sat back on his bedding and contemplated Leo. The shadows created by the fire seemed to find the ninja easily, dancing across his skin with the sensuality of a lovers caress.

In a low voice, Usagi said, "If you were to remain here with me you could provide for Mayu."

Leo had been looking at the flames, his mind engrossed in a memory of firelight playing with the gold in Raphael's eyes. Usagi's words brought him back to the present.

"My family needs me," Leo said.

"I too need you," Usagi told him quietly, finally saying the words that had been on his mind for over two months.

For a moment time seemed to stop as Leo's eyes met Usagi's. So many things became clear to Leonardo then; the private thoughts that Usagi had shared, the subtle questions his friend had asked, the hints about how Leo would be more valued in this world. Just as Leo had been fighting his desires, so had Usagi, and just as Leo had reached the decision to stop fighting them, his friend was doing so as well.

"We . . . are friends," Leo said haltingly, not sure how to approach what he thought Usagi had meant.

Usagi leaned forward. "It is time that I say what I feel, Leonardo. Please stay with me. I value you as more than just a friend. We can share everything here and I can teach you many things, amongst them love. With Lord Noriyuki as our benefactor, you will want for nothing. At your home I asked you to journey with me and you said yes. Here I ask it of you again. Share this life with me, Leonardo-chan, as my apprentice and my lover."

Leo could feel the longing rolling off of Usagi in waves, the scent of his desire rich in the Turtle's nostrils. How Usagi had hidden these strong feelings from him for all these many weeks he didn't know, but the reality of them was obvious now.

"Usagi, I cannot do that," Leo said gently. "I don't share those same types of feelings. I can't imagine that I ever could and that would be unfair to both of us. When I look at you I see my greatest friend and nothing more."

Studying Leo's face, Usagi saw the sincerity of his words and sighed deeply. "Is there something else as well?" he asked. "You sought this journey for adventure but also to discover the reason for your restlessness; the 'phase' you are going through. Have you found your answers yet?"

"I think I have," Leo said carefully. "Of that I am still unsure, but I believe my answers are not to be found here, but rather at home."

"Perhaps you will find that clue to yourself there," Usagi said. "If you do and resolve this current unease, another will find you soon enough. It is the thing that calls to all living beings, the need for companionship that is both spiritual and physical. Your world will not offer you those things, this you yourself alluded to."

Leo longed to tell Usagi that need was exactly what had prompted his trip away from home, that it was what had caused Leo to _run_ away from home. He wanted to tell Usagi that his world did offer him all of those things in his own brothers, but after Usagi's revelation, Leo felt almost dishonorable in admitting such a thing.

"I'll have to find a way to live with that," Leo said.

Usagi could tell that his friend was still burying something inside himself that he was unwilling to share. Whatever it was, Usagi was now positive that secret was placing a barrier between them. Leo said he did not share Usagi's feelings for him, but it seemed to the ronin that as long as that secret remained locked inside the ninja, there would be no way for Leo to acknowledge that he could feel something for Usagi.

Tonight Usagi would accept Leo's answer. Tomorrow they would travel to Lord Noriyuki's castle and the young ninja would receive accolades for his magnificent achievements. In those surroundings, where they could relax and where Leo would perhaps lower his guard, Usagi would ferret out the secret that kept his greatest love away from him.

TBC…


	14. Part 14

Fighting Desire  
part 14

Very early the next morning, Leo and Usagi rode away from the orphanage. Usagi had said his farewells to the headmistress the night before so there was nothing to delay them as they packed their belongings and saddled their mounts.

Leo was glad they would not be there when the children woke. He had a feeling that telling Mayu he was leaving would have been difficult for both of them. In a very short amount of time he had formed an attachment for the little girl; she had a beautiful and brave spirit. However, Leo knew that interacting with her further would be like leading her on and he could not allow her to have false hopes of his becoming anything more than a visitor in her life.

The darkness had the advantage of hiding the awkwardness between the two friends. Usagi's revelation from the night before sat heavily between them, especially since Leo could not reciprocate. Conversation was minimal; the need to stay sharply vigilant was excuse enough for that.

As the day wore on and Usagi behaved as usual, the awkwardness Leo felt seemed to fade. Leo was determined to hold onto his friendship with the samurai and to avoid any change in his interactions with Usagi.

They decided to ride as much as possible that first day and were well pleased when this leg of the journey wasn't interrupted by bandits as it had been the last time. Daisuke must have used the opportunity upon passing through with Lord Noriyuki's troops to sweep the area clean. The men who preyed on travelers were too wary to return anytime soon.

The pair discussed that turn of events as they settled into their camp for the night. Letting their horses act as an early warning system, they relaxed together over a meal. Leo knew it would be the last they would share alone, although he hadn't yet told Usagi that he meant to leave after speaking with Lord Noriyuki.

"Do you think the bandits are gone for good from this area?" Leo asked.

Usagi shook his head. "No, I do not. They have no home; men such as themselves are not welcome in villages for very long and must continue to move. The fear will fade with time and they will return."

"Perhaps Lord Noriyuki could form a brigade that is separate from his army," Leo said thoughtfully. "A group with outposts in the towns and villages that lie between the larger cities. They could patrol at random intervals and wipe out the bandits who operate within his jurisdiction."

Usagi sat up straight, his ears perking in interest. "This idea . . . yes, it has a number of advantages. There are many who would like to participate in protecting Lord Noriyuki's domain, but who do not join the regular army because their families cannot afford for them to leave."

"They wouldn't have to be full-time warriors," Leo said, following his own line of thought. "There could be shifts that would allow them the time off needed to attend to family. Recruits could be trained just as you and I trained Hideo and Kai. Everything they needed to do this job would be provided; lodging, horses, weapons, and training. Lord Noriyuki would pay them only for the time when they are actually training or covering their shift."

"There are many families who would flourish from an increase in their income by having a son or daughter in the brigade," Usagi said. "Leonardo-san, you must present this plan to Lord Noriyuki, it is the answer to a great deal of his difficulties in keeping his lands safe."

"With the added advantage of not allowing Hebi another opportunity to insinuate his loyalists into the outlying towns and villages," Leo said. "Without being able to recruit new men, Hebi cannot take over another city. Everyone would be more vigilant."

"Care would have to be taken that the brigade is not infiltrated by any of Hebi's loyalists," Usagi said. "As with any structure of potential power comes the opportunity for men to become tainted."

"Yes." Leo's eyes narrowed. "Lord Noriyuki would need to choose men he trusts in order to begin creating the brigade. There would be a lot of planning involved; maps would need to be drawn to determine locations for the outposts. Until he had a contingent built up of local citizenry, he would have to assign some of his troops to operate the outposts and train new recruits."

Usagi was watching Leo carefully, noting with pleasure the look of excitement and anticipation he could see on his friend's face and in his eyes. This idea belonged to Leonardo and it would be a great temptation for the kame to see it through to fruition. That would take months, possibly more than a year.

Being something of a strategist himself, Usagi was careful not to point that out to Leonardo. Doing so would sound self-serving after Usagi's revelation that he desired for Leo to remain in this world. Usagi was sure that Lord Noriyuki would make the suggestion himself and it would not have to come from the samurai.

Leo took the first watch that night, his mind too filled with his new concept to allow sleep. Usagi tried not the feel complacent about that fact knowing that this new idea alone might not convince Leo to stay with him.

Watching his friend concentrate on a plan and focus on working through all of its variables was mesmerizing. Usagi felt again the surge of longing and desire that came with thinking of Leonardo and once more made a resolution to fight for a chance at happiness with his kame friend by his side forever.

By the time the sun rose the next day, the pair had been in the saddle for several hours. Leo's mind was still partly on the complexity of the plan he was formulating. He would meet with Lord Noriyuki and outline the concept, along with a suggestion that Hideo and Kai be given charge of implementation.

With the aid of Daisuke and Gen, Leo knew that his trainees were more than capable of taking on such a large task. Their loyalty to Lord Noriyuki was above question and both were adept at weeding out bad apples. If Hebi were to even think of placing any of his loyalists within the brigade, Hideo and Kai would know of it.

Having such a force in place throughout Lord Noriyuki's holdings would create a web that bandits, marauders, and invaders would be careful to avoid. Being able to create such a barrier would assuage some of Leo's guilt at leaving Usagi alone once more.

During the ride to the castle, Leo and Usagi discussed various points of Leo's plan, fine tuning it as they traveled. Neither of them spoke of their personal agendas, nor did their conversation or attitude give hints of such a thing. It was as if they both played a lone game of chess without realizing that they did, after all, have an opponent.

As they rode along the back trail that would take them to Lord Noriyuki's stables, Leo said, "I wouldn't mind a hot bath and a soft bed right about now."

"You have read my mind, Leonardo-san," Usagi replied. "I too am longing a room that is not already occupied by thousands of tiny creatures who are all intent upon making a meal of my skin."

Leo laughed. "Camping under the stars was less dangerous than sliding between those supposedly clean sheets at the inn in Noda."

"It is quite possible that the inn keeper could be charged with some crime, though I am not sure how one words such a thing," Usagi joked.

Leo was on the verge of answering when he noticed a plume of dust rising up from the trail. It was some distance from them and moving away rather than nearer.

"Someone else is using the trail this afternoon," Leo said in a low voice, instantly shifting into high alert.

"Yes." Usagi's attitude changed quickly as well. "This is not a highly traveled trail. I do not like how close this unknown rider is to Lord Noriyuki's castle."

Riding slower and with more caution, the pair approached the stables. At first they saw no one, but upon turning a bend in the trail they found their path blocked.

Standing before the stables were several dozen of the soldiers Leo had led into the battle at Chibiko. In front of the large crowd were Gen, Daisuke, Hideo, and Kai, all of them grinning madly.

"It appears they had someone watching for us," Usagi remarked loudly in order to be heard over the crowd.

"For three days now," Gen acknowledged as he stepped back to allow the pair room to dismount.

"How did you fare?" Daisuke asked.

Leo pulled his backpack from the horse and handed the reins over the one of the stablemen. "It was a false trail," he answered. "The wagon belonged to common thieves, and the other riders were separate from them."

"Bah," Gennosuke growled and spat on the ground. "Hebi is a ghost. If we want to put an end to him we need to have a séance."

"I sincerely hope it will not come to that," Usagi said with a smile. "I do not care for spirits."

No one asked where they had spent the last day or two and neither one of the pair offered the information. They took time to greet each soldier who had come to see their arrival, and then at Gen's bidding, they followed him into the castle. Daisuke, Hideo and Kai came along with them, obviously having been asked to do so by Lord Noriyuki.

The young Lord was waiting for them in the large room he used for conducting meetings, Tomoe Ame by his side.

"Usagi! Leonardo!" Lord Noriyuki called out in delight.

The pair bowed to the young Lord and then smiled as he clasped each of them warmly.

"You have made me so happy," Lord Noriyuki told them. "Through your efforts Hebi's blight has been lifted from my land and its people."

"We only wish we could have rid you of Hebi himself," Leo said.

Lord Noriyuki waved a dismissive hand in the air. "He will soon have no resources and that will render him harmless. With nowhere to go and no one to turn to, he will be captured or killed soon enough."

"Leonardo has given much thought to how you may thwart any plans Hebi may have for repeating his last venture," Usagi said.

"Ah, Leonardo-san, you are ever the general," Lord Noriyuki said. "We must discuss this further, but not at the moment. I see that the two of you are in need of some rest and a good long soak. All of you will both join me this evening for dinner and afterwards we will have time to review all of the events that have taken place."

Leo barely contained a sigh. He looked forward to the bath and a nap, but he would rather have skipped another formal meal. In fact, he had thought to take his leave of Usagi's world this evening and return to his home.

"It would be an honor," Leo said, his expression and mannerisms giving away none of his feelings.

Everyone bowed as Lord Noriyuki made his exit and then Usagi touched Leo's arm lightly.

"We will have the same rooms," Usagi said. "I am sure that by now someone has drawn a hot bath in each of them."

No one accompanied the pair as they trudged on tired feet to their bedrooms. Leo opened the door to his and before stepping through, turned to Usagi.

"I may not make it from the bath to the bed," Leo said with a small grin. "I hope someone will let me know when it's time for dinner."

Usagi laughed. "I will see to that. I believe I may be in need of similar assistance. However, it takes longer for me to dry off after bathing, so I cannot enjoy the luxury of lounging in the water."

An image of a nude Usagi rising from his bath, fur glistening with water droplets, came unbidden into Leo's mind and he swallowed. A slight flush painted his neck as he nodded and quickly backed into his room, closing the door softly.

Staring at the door for a long moment, Usagi's brow furrowed as he tried to think what could possibly have gotten his friend so flustered. A slow smile spread across his mouth as he came to what he believed to be the reason. Perhaps his cause was not lost after all.

Leo crossed the bedroom shakily, dropping his backpack on the bed before entering the room that held his already prepared steaming bath. Divesting himself of his gear but keeping his katanas close to hand, Leo stepped into the tub and lowered his slightly aching body into it.

That mental picture of Usagi was the first time Leo had ever thought of his friend in any way remotely resembling sexual. Soaking in the tub, Leo analyzed what had just occurred and determined that he really didn't desire Usagi, it was simply an instinctual response precipitated by Leo's already burgeoning hormonal needs.

He wouldn't have reacted at all if Usagi's proximity hadn't recalled the samurai's confession. Leo had enough of an ego to admit that the revelation had been very flattering to him, even if it was unwanted.

Understanding his reaction gave Leo a sense of inner peace and he relaxed, concentrating on the heat of the water in the same manner as he did the candles during meditation. It wasn't long before he could no longer feel his body and his spirit drifted, looking as it always did, for a path towards enlightenment.

His spirit instead took a route that led Leonardo to his brothers and he lightly touched each of them with his mind, ensuring himself of their well-being. He felt in each of them a certain unease; fear, trepidation, anger, frustration, and need. Leo could feel their thoughts center on him and then jump away, as though they were each fighting an inner demon of their own.

Pulling away from them and sliding back into his own body, Leo realized that the path he'd just taken _was_ that of enlightenment. It led unfailingly to his brothers.

A soft tap on his door jerked Leo up from the bed he'd finally made it into. His hand swept down to his katana before his mind registered his surroundings and told him where he was.

"Yes?" Leo called out.

"I was to call you for dinner, shireikan," a servant responded, his voice suitably deferential.

"I'll find my way," Leo answered.

Quickly strapping on his gear, Leo took a moment to stretch, the delicious feeling of the bath and a long nap on a soft bed lingering in his muscles. Stepping into the corridor, he saw Usagi standing before his own bedroom door.

"Did you sleep well, Leonardo-san?" Usagi asked.

"Exceptionally well," Leo said. "I'm glad there were no assassins stalking these halls, I don't know that I would have awakened."

Smiling slightly, Usagi said, "I will admit to this also. Sleeping upon a soft bed should not be so hazardous."

Walking towards the dining hall together, Leo glanced sideways at Usagi and said, "The servant who woke me called me 'commander."

Usagi nodded. "Yes, they have heard the tale of how you took command of Lord Noriyuki's army and regained control of Chibiko. They were unsure of your place in the young Lord's life and it gives them satisfaction to have a title for you other than ninja. That is a word they do not care to utter, no offense given."

"None taken," Leo said with a grin. This bandying of words between them was at least normal and made him feel more relaxed in Usagi's company.

When they reached the dining hall, Leo's tension returned. The large room was filled with people, many wearing gleaming robes that denoted their stature in society. Leo felt distinctly out of place and even more so when a servant led he and Usagi to seats on either side of Lord Noriyuki's.

Leo soon discovered that the meal was a tribute to Usagi and himself, a way to thank them and to introduce them to some of the leading families in the region. As a ninja and shadow warrior, Leonardo much preferred anonymity, but he understood that Lord Noriyuki was performing a duty that befell one in his position.

Throughout the meal, Leo listened to the conversation around him, noting that much of it was political in nature. Although quite young, Lord Noriyuki was well versed and spoke with knowledge and intelligence to men many years his senior.

Periodically, Leo would catch Usagi's eyes and the looks they exchanged would fill them with mirth. Certain words or antics from the other guests brought almost the exact same thoughts to the pair, and they didn't need to say anything to know what the other was thinking.

Fortunately, Leo was not required to speak in acknowledgment of the tribute that Lord Noriyuki was paying him, and that suited the Turtle. Leo was sure he could have found something appropriate to say if called upon to do so, he was just happy he didn't have to.

The meal lasted for nearly three hours before Lord Noriyuki stood and bade his guest's goodnight. When he was gone, the room began to empty and Tomoe Ame requested that Leo and Usagi join the young Lord.

Following her into a room filled with scrolls and a large table, Leo saw that not only was Lord Noriyuki and some of his advisors present, but so were Gen and Daisuke.

At Lord Noriyuki's bidding, Leo and Usagi made themselves comfortable as cups of rice wine were placed on the table in front of them.

"I have not forgotten that you wished to speak to me of another of your excellent plans, Leonardo-san," Lord Noriyuki said. "It is my wish to share a thought or two of my own with you. Please, tell me what is on your mind."

Leo took a sip of his wine out of politeness and began to outline his idea for a special brigade whose formation would hopefully resolve the issue of the bandits who now roamed freely over Lord Noriyuki's lands.

As he talked, one of Lord Noriyuki's advisors began to swiftly write down Leo's ideas. Sometimes the young Lord would interpose a question, other times the questions came from Gen or Daisuke.

When Leo was finished, Lord Noriyuki sat back and folded his hands together atop the table. After a moment of thought, the young Lord looked over at his advisors, who each in turn nodded.

"This plan of yours, this brigade, it is a very good idea," Lord Noriyuki said. "I will see to its immediate implementation. A great deal of work will need to be done to bring about its formation."

"Finding quality men to fill command positions will be essential to its success," Daisuke said. "I agree with Leonardo's assessment of Hideo and Kai."

"This leads me to the point I wished to discuss with you, Leonardo-san," Lord Noriyuki said. "While we were awaiting your return, Gen and Daisuke spoke frequently about the needs of our military. We had come to the conclusion that the primary force should be split into two equal structures, under the command of two generals. This brigade idea of yours removes the need for us to stretch our resources in such a manner. It still leaves one command position available."

Leaning towards Leo, Lord Noriyuki continued, "I would like to offer this position to you. You may choose to command the regular army, as you did when retaking Chibiko, or you may assume complete control over the brigade. Daisuke has assured me he has no qualms with regards to the army he is to command, I am sure he will have no problem turning the army over to you and leading the brigade."

"Leonardo-san, I have watched you lead and watched you fight," Daisuke said. "You have no equal and I would be most honored if you would choose to share this position of leadership with me."

They were looking expectantly at Leo and he could feel their eyes on him, none more so than Usagi's. A fleeting thought entered Leo's mind that Usagi had known that Lord Noriyuki would make an offer of this kind, especially after hearing Leo's idea on the formation of a brigade. Usagi had played his hand well in saying nothing of this; allowing the offer to come unexpectedly from Lord Noriyuki instead.

Choosing his words carefully, Leo said, "I am truly honored that you would make such a generous offer, Lord Noriyuki. The challenge in either of those positions is extremely tempting. If this were my world, I would most probably accept your offer, but I cannot. I have a much larger commitment to my family and my clan. Leaving them is not something I could ever consider."

The young Lord's expression didn't change, giving the impression that he had expected such an answer from Leo. "Then may I place another offer before you?" he said. "Bring your family here. They will be held in high esteem and may join you as part of my army. Gen and Usagi have told me something of your world; here you will not have to live in the dark underground. Your clan will be given land holdings and a home; servants if you wish for them. You can greet the sun each morning and bask in its rays, and all men will respect you."

To Leo, the words were quite alluring. There would be dangers here just as there were on Earth, but here his family would not only have Lord Noriyuki's support, but that of the Shogun as well. Here Leo and his brothers could make an enormous difference and he might just possibly be able to offer a better life to little Mayu.

As those thoughts ran through his mind, so did the ones that showed him Donatello happily engaged in tinkering with his latest gadget, Raphael revving the engine on his motorcycle while he excitedly told Leo of his latest escapade, and Michelangelo busy stuffing popcorn into his face as he watched a movie or played a video game.

His brothers were fully part of the world they had grown up in and leaving those things behind would be like cutting a piece of themselves off and leaving it behind as well.

Then Leo remembered how his family had fought the Shredder and brought about his final defeat. If not for them, the Shredder might easily have become the one from Donny's nightmare trip into another universe. What the Hamato clan had accomplished _had_ made a difference, a very big one, and hundreds of thousands of lives had been saved. Many of those lives belonged to parents who would now never leave their children orphaned.

"I cannot ask my brothers to make that sacrifice, Lord Noriyuki. I thank you for the opportunity, but my world is the only one my brothers will ever be happy living in," Leo said. "We also have a duty there and cannot abandon it. People just like Hebi walk freely, spreading their evil, and my family has sworn an oath to stop them. Besides that, we have all trained since birth to be ninjas. All of us must hold true to that oath and that includes me."

Lord Noriyuki smiled. "I understand, Leonardo-san. I would not want to leave my world either. You are a ninja of great honor and must follow your duty. I hope that you know you will always be welcome here."

"Thank you, Lord Noriyuki," Leo said as he stood up and bowed. "I would like to bid you farewell; I am leaving tonight for my home."

Usagi's head jerked around, the look of surprise evident on his face.

"We cannot entice you to stay a bit longer and perhaps see to the beginning steps in creating your brigade?" Lord Noriyuki asked, a twinkle in his eye.

Leo smiled in return. "You tempt me greatly, but if I remain I will become immersed in the project and forget my other duties. It would be better if I were to leave immediately."

"As you wish, Leonardo-san. Safe journey to you," Lord Noriyuki said.

Once more Leo bowed and then left the room. Usagi stood up and looked over at Lord Noriyuki, his expression anxious.

"Perhaps I can try again to persuade Leonardo to stay with us," Usagi said.

Lord Noriyuki studied him for a moment and then nodded. "Do what you will, Usagi-san. I do not believe you will be successful, but you have certainly earned the opportunity to try."

With a bow, Usagi turned and swiftly followed Leonardo. Lord Noriyuki watched the samurai leave, noting the stiffness in his shoulders, and then looked back towards Gennosuke.

Gen lifted his cup and gulped down the remainder of his wine, reaching across the table to snag the cups left by Leo and Usagi. A corner of Lord Noriyuki's mouth lifted as he watched his most trusted bodyguard and good friend down first one, then the other. None of them lifted the scowl from Gen's face.

"Something is bothering you, Gennosuke?" Lord Noriyuki asked.

Looking up at the young Lord, Gen snorted loudly. "That is why one must never fall in love," Gen said in a low growl. "There is no profit in it."

"It is possible the heart is not privy to that piece of wisdom," Lord Noriyuki said as he chuckled.

"Ha!" Gen barked. "I taught mine. It doesn't jump around unless there is coin involved."

Lord Noriyuki leaned back in his chair, the satisfied expression on his face belonging to someone much older. "I am wounded, Gen. I was sure your loyalty to me was due to more than my wealth."

Dismayed, Gen's mouth opened to protest before he saw the young Lord laughing at him.

"There is a chance I do have a soft spot," Gen admitted gruffly.

Lord Noriyuki nodded at him fondly. "Do not worry, I will speak of it to no one."

Daisuke hid a smile in his cup. He too cared deeply for Lord Noriyuki and would willingly give his life for the young man. He knew that Usagi would do the same and felt a deep connection to the samurai for that reason.

It worried him that Usagi appeared to have feelings for the kame Leonardo, as Gennosuke had surmised. Daisuke had many opportunities to observe the visitor from another world and of one thing he was certain, Leonardo did not think of Usagi as anything more than a close friend.

A samurai torn by his emotions was a warrior without balance. Daisuke prayed that Usagi could resolve his dilemma quickly before the ronin had to face another battle. Without his focus, Usagi would most likely be unable to walk away from his next fight.

TBC….


	15. Part 15

Fighting Desire  
part 15

Leo hadn't taken much from his backpack upon arriving at the castle, so he didn't have much to shove back into it. His door was open and when Usagi tapped on it, Leo looked up and saw his friend's expression.

"I decided several nights ago to leave early," Leo said before Usagi could speak. "My decision wasn't based on anything that passed between us."

Usagi entered the room, closing the door behind him before walking slowly to where Leo was standing. His dark eyes were locked on Leo's amber ones, and though he worked to maintain a calm façade, his insides were in turmoil.

"And yet you did not feel free to tell me of your decision," Usagi said. "Has my admission placed such a large barrier between us?"

Leo set his backpack down so he could turn to face Usagi. "I don't want it to," Leo said truthfully, "but you must admit it changes our friendship somewhat. I can feel that you want to treat me differently and the awkwardness from that makes the way we work together difficult."

"It does not have to," Usagi said, taking a step closer and stretching out a hand so that his fingertips could rest against Leo's cheek.

Rather than move away, Leo remained where he was, allowing Usagi to touch him but not reacting to it.

"I don't return your feelings, Usagi," Leo said gently. "I've never felt that way about you."

Usagi's eyes were hooded with desire. Determined to show Leonardo what he had been trying to tell the ninja, he lowered his voice to a deep caress. "When I came to visit your home these many weeks ago, I was summoned there by your sensei, did you know that?"

Leo's brow furrowed. "No," he said.

"Master Splinter sensed a great unease in you and his concern grew when you would not, or could not, share its cause with him. He believed that I could aid you," Usagi said, sliding his hand so that he was cupping Leo's cheek. "As soon as I arrived I too could feel that something was out of balance within you. My offer to you was a genuine attempt to provide you with a change. I had hoped that it would help you connect with whatever was causing your unease."

"I accepted because I believed the challenges here would help me gain perspective," Leo said.

"You were restless," Usagi corrected, moving a bit closer. "I was your age once, koibito. I recognized the signs signifying a desire for a physical connection. What you need you yourself admitted will be nearly impossible to attain on your world. Stay here with me and allow me to give you the love and the physical release you require."

Usagi's words were hypnotic; delivered in a soft, husky manner as his face drew closer to Leo's. Trembling slightly, Leo lost himself for a moment in his friend's expressive eyes, seeing the hunger that was buried inside of them. It was when he felt Usagi's hand tighten against his cheek, holding him in place, that the spell was broken.

Leo stepped back and away from Usagi's touch. "Usagi, I understand so much more about myself now because I did accept your offer of adventure, and for that I'm eternally grateful. You are right, my restlessness had a lot to do with a certain type of need that I was beginning to have. But I can't direct my desires towards someone simply based on their feelings for me. What I need I can't find here with you. I have to go home."

A glimmer of Leo's unspoken problem came to Usagi then, a vague touch of knowledge that Usagi reached towards and attempted to grasp. He wanted to ask the question, but the stalwart look on Leo's face told him that approach would be a mistake.

Instead, Usagi told him, "I will assist you in drawing the symbols for the portal that will take you to your home. I would like to accompany you, if I may. I will be no burden to you, it is simply that I wish to speak to Master Splinter. I must apologize to him for betraying his trust. It is my duty."

Leo knew that wasn't the only reason but he could not question Usagi's motives without also questioning his honor, something the ninja would never do.

"I am sure my Father will not hold that against you," Leo said, allowing his features to soften in a smile.

"Then I will pack a change of clothing and meet you in the courtyard where we first arrived," Usagi said, turning on his heel and leaving the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx

Raphael felt twitchy and moody; his nerves dancing across his skin. After dinner Mikey had offered to let him choose a movie if Raph wanted to sit down with him and relax for the evening. His little brother had even told him he'd make a big tub of popcorn and let Raph be the one to hold it. That was a major sacrifice for the brother they fondly referred to as 'vacuum cleaner'.

Instead of responding in a decent way, Raph had snapped Mikey's head off. The last thing he wanted to do was to sit still, and worse yet would be to sit in a darkened room anywhere near Mikey. His younger brother was so warm and alive that his proximity tended to overload Raph's system.

Mikey's dejected look didn't help Raph's mood one bit and the largest of the brothers decided to vent some of his frustration on his punching bag. He had no idea why he was more anxious tonight than he'd been in quite a while, or why he felt that he needed to remain at home when he would have liked to burn some energy in a long ride on his motorcycle.

From his position at the punching bag, Raph saw Master Splinter suddenly exit his room and walk to the center of the lair. Puzzled, Raph stopped moving his fists and leaned against the bag, watching his sensei.

Within a minute, a swirling curtain of blue light opened up near Master Splinter and two forms stepped out of it. Raph could see that it was Leo and Usagi even before the portal closed behind them.

"Leo?" Mikey called before leaping over the couch. "Leo!"

Bolting across the lair, the blur of orange and sea green quickly smothered Leo in a tight hug. Leo smiled good-naturedly and returned his brothers enthusiastic embrace, more than a little happy to be greeted in such a way.

The noise drew Donatello out of his lab and his face creased into a large smile, the feel of it somewhat foreign to him. He reached Leo just as Mikey released their older brother and Don stepped up to offer Leo his hand.

Leo took the hand and then with a grin pulled Don into a quick hug. Don's heart was beating hard in his chest and he had to consciously repress a desire to turn his face into Leo's neck so that he could nuzzle his brother's forest green skin.

When Don stepped back, Master Splinter opened his arms and said, "We have missed you my son."

"I've missed all of you, Father," Leo replied as he returned the offered hug.

Master Splinter released him and turned to Usagi, "It is good to see you as well, Usagi," he said. "You have returned earlier than planned."

Leo and Usagi exchanged glances. Usagi said, "Yes Splinter-san. We reached a point in our journey where it seemed prudent that Leonardo return home."

Don and Mikey moved up to greet Usagi, leaving Master Splinter to ponder that statement, frowning slightly as he did so. He could sense that something was off between the two friends, perhaps a falling out had occurred. Knowing that Leonardo normally shared everything with him, Master Splinter let it go for the moment. Time enough later to hear the tale of Leonardo's travels.

Another concern crossed his mind and he turned his head to look back towards the dojo. Raphael stood in the doorway, his hands curled into fists at his sides. He was staring at Leonardo and the oldest brother was returning his gaze, neither making a move towards the other.

Leo felt the blaze of Raph's gold eyes burning a path across his skin. The intensity was beyond anything Leo had ever experienced from his brother and he could feel its fire beginning to ignite a response in his gut. This was the feeling he'd been trying to escape for over two months and the one he'd finally decided to confront.

Stepping away from the others, Leo walked partway to the dojo and stopped, his eyes never leaving Raph's. Working his jaw from side to side for a moment, Raph moved towards his brother, stopping just in front of him.

It was Raph who spoke first. "Nice ta see ya' ain't missing any body parts."

Leo's expression remained neutral as he said, "Thanks, I came close a few times."

"That why ya' came home early, ya' get tired of archers trying ta use ya' as a pin cushion?" Raph asked, his tone holding just a touch of resentment.

Leo refused to be baited. "Something like that. Maybe I started wondering if you guys needed me."

"In your dreams," Raph growled. "Personally, I was enjoying not having ya' up in my face every time I turned around."

Leo understood his brother; he could hear the hurt in Raph's voice and knew that what he'd just said wasn't true.

Before Leo had a chance to continue the conversation, Mikey interrupted. "Hey Leo, Usagi agreed to spend a couple of nights with us so he can tell us about your adventures. Isn't that great?"

As Leo was turning towards them, Raph snorted and moved past him, bumping Leo hard with his shoulder. Eyes narrowed, Leo watched as Raph ignored the others and bounded upstairs, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

When his eyes came back down, Leo could see Usagi watching him, the ronin's dark orbs glittering.

"Yes," Leo answered somewhat thoughtfully. "That sounds like a very good plan."

Because it was so late and both of the travelers were obviously tired, the family retired for the night. Donatello offered Usagi his room since the genius was perfectly content to sleep in his lab. Grabbing a few items that he needed and changing the bedding, Don bade Usagi a goodnight and left him.

Don looked over and saw that Raph's door was still firmly shut. With a sigh, Don went downstairs and glanced towards Leo's room, noticing that a light still shone past a door that wasn't quite closed.

Setting his things down, Don tapped on the door and when Leo called out for him to enter, he did so.

True to his nature, Leo was carefully unpacking his belongings and putting them away before turning in for the night.

"Hey Leo," Don said with a smile. "I didn't get to say much to you when you got here and I know you're tired, but I wanted to tell you that I'm glad you're back."

Leo's mind had been busy trying to sort out Raph's sullen reaction to his return and the flash of what appeared to be understanding on Usagi's face. Don's voice smoothed the lines between Leo's eyes and his expression softened as he returned his brother's smile.

"It feels good to be back. Were there any problems while I was gone?" Leo asked.

Don heard the question inside the question. "Not security wise," he replied. "Master Splinter was a bit more introspective than usual and Mikey seemed out of sorts with the fact that our training sessions weren't as rigorous as they are when you're here. Don't tell him I told you that, he likes being treated like the spoiled youngest brother. Raph's been . . . difficult. And before you go blaming that on yourself, he was behaving that way before you left. You leaving just seemed to focus this latest bout of unexplained anger."

"I'll try to find out what his problem is, sometimes it helps him to spill his guts if I let him try to beat mine out of me," Leo said with a small laugh. Catching Don's eyes and holding them, Leo asked, "What about you Donny? Can I thank you for that psychic link that saved my life?"

"You could thank me, but the one you should really speak to about it is Raph," Don said. "He said he dreamt that you might be stepping into something dangerous and was determined not to let you go alone."

"He had a dream about me?" Leo asked the question almost as though he was talking to himself.

Don nodded. "I think we've all had them, Leo," Don said quietly. "I think we're all so connected that cognitive dreams are inevitable."

"Connected," Leo practically whispered, feeling an undercurrent of comprehension. Recalling himself, he said, "You didn't answer my question, bro'. How have you been?"

"Better now that you're home," Don answered truthfully.

Brown eyes met amber ones, relaying as much of Don's feelings as he dared. Something in Leo had changed during his absence; rather than pulling away from Don's probing look, Leo held onto it. The strength, resolve, and dominance that Leo exuded poured over Don in soothing waves, comforting and exciting him all at once.

With a shuddering sigh, it was Don who pulled away, afraid that his joy at Leo's return would make him lower his guard too much. Wanting his brother privately and allowing Leo to know that were issues that needed to remain separate from one another.

Backing out of the door, Don said, "I'm just going to let you sleep now. We can talk more tomorrow."

Before Leo had a chance to say anything, Donatello was gone, the door closed behind him. Leo didn't move to follow him, instead closing his eyes and lowering his head. Bringing his clasped hands up to his mouth, Leo looked almost as though he were praying and in a way, he was.

He had returned home full of the resolve to find out if his brothers were feeling the same needs as himself. His first opportunity to do that had just scooted out of his room as though his tail was on fire.

With a sigh, Leo lifted his head and slowly removed his gear. The urge to follow Don was strong, but he decided not to do that just yet. He didn't want to risk having Usagi witness another questionable encounter between Leo and one of his brothers.

His concern was that Usagi would believe that Leo had turned aside the samurai's offer because of his desires for his brothers, rather than Leo's lack of desire for Usagi. What Leo had told Usagi was the absolute truth and he needed the ronin to understand that. It was the only way that Leo could envision saving their friendship.

Very early the next morning, Leo sought out Master Splinter, knowing his Father would be awake. When his Father bade him enter after Leo tapped on his door, the Turtle found that Master Splinter had anticipated his arrival and that a steaming pot of tea awaited him.

Leo savored the tea as much as the tranquility of his sensei's room. Candles pushed aside the darkness rather than the overhead lights with their harsh brightness; lights that Don had installed and that Master Splinter rarely used. His Father had told him once that the electric lights revealed more of the room than Master Splinter actually wanted to see.

"How was your journey, my son?" Master Splinter asked after several long moments of silence.

"Eventful," Leo told him quietly. "Hebi has once more been attempting to destroy Lord Noriyuki. The snake is a dangerous adversary and a very difficult one to capture. For someone his age, Lord Noriyuki is extremely adept at governing his lands, but Hebi is a blight that none have managed to destroy."

"Tell me," Master Splinter requested simply.

Leo complied, tracing his travels for his Father. He avoided going into elaborate detail, especially with regards to the lives he was forced to take. Recounting the story of the fight to retake Chibiko, Leo debated whether he should tell of his encounters with his brothers, but in the end decided to do so. Whether his siblings had told Master Splinter or not, Leo knew is Father would have sensed the occurrence during meditation anyway.

He also told Master Splinter about Lord Noriyuki's offer and how Usagi had urged him to accept it. What Leo did not tell his sensei was what Usagi had shared with him regarding his feelings. That was between Usagi and himself alone.

Leo also kept to himself the numerous times he had dreamt of his brothers. Some of those were indeed simply dreams, but others were actual connections and were likewise as private as his interactions with the samurai.

When Leo was finished with his tale, the tea pot was cold, as was the remainder of the tea in his cup. He drained it anyway because his throat was dry from so much talking.

"You fill me with pride, Leonardo," Master Splinter said when Leo's story drew to a close. "The leadership you exhibited shows enormous growth. Your travels were an excellent test and you have returned with a much stronger aura. I no longer sense in you the restlessness that drove you before you embarked on this journey. Have you discovered its source?"

"I believe so, Father," Leo answered carefully. "I believe I had come to a point in my life where I had begun to doubt my own instincts. I was questioning myself, my decisions; even my interactions with my brothers. The time away has shown me that I must trust myself as much as I trust them."

"Your absence was hard on them," Master Splinter said. "Donatello and Michelangelo will have no difficulty telling you how happy they are that you have returned home. Raphael is another matter, I fear. He is angry and bitter, for reasons that I cannot comprehend. Your brother will share nothing with me; it is my hope that you can reach him."

"I will try, sensei," Leo said.

"As for your relationship with Usagi, I feel that something has changed," Master Splinter said. "Do you want to elaborate?"

Leo looked into his empty cup and then back up to meet his Father's eyes. The choice to speak or not was left up to him; Master Splinter was making it clear that he would not pry.

"No, Father," Leo said. "Usagi and I are still friends, but he accompanied me because he wanted to speak with you. Since the conversation is his to have, I can't tell you more. I will say that he would have liked for me to have accepted Lord Noriyuki's offer."

Master Splinter bowed his head in acknowledgement of Leo's decision. "In a world where the citizens are divided into a class structure, the samurai is among the elite. No doubt it is a life that can be filled with loneliness and longing despite the many rewards. Having someone of a like mind to share it with would be highly desirous."

Leo tried not to be startled with how close to the truth Master Splinter had come. His Father retained an expression of calm placidity, leaving Leo to wonder as he had many times in his life, exactly how much his sensei actually knew.

With a small sigh, Master Splinter said, "Let us hope that Usagi is not too hurt by your decision to remain with your family. He may have thoughts of attempting to use his time here to persuade you to change your mind. Although I am sure you will not, should your brother Raphael hear of it, he may resent the offer. Despite outward appearances, Raphael is extremely devoted to you."

Once again Leo had the feeling that Master Splinter knew more than he was letting on.

"I am sure Usagi understands that my decision is final," Leo said, though he wasn't actually sure of that. He didn't want his Father to worry.

"Clarity is always best," Master Splinter said and then lifted his nose into the air. "Ah, I believe your brother Michelangelo has decided to rise early and prepare breakfast. That is the true testament to how much he has missed you."

It was obviously a dismissal and Leo bowed low before leaving his Father.

Later that day, Leo saw Usagi enter Master Splinter's room. Leo and the samurai had been very cordial to one another throughout the morning, they had even practiced together, but the ease of their previous relationship was lacking.

Leo could tell from the way Don watched him that his brother had guessed that something was off kilter. Mikey had monopolized most of Usagi's time throughout the day, which told Leo that his youngest brother had also figured out that there was a problem. With the amazing insight that Mikey possessed, it wouldn't surprise Leo one bit to find out that his youngest brother even knew what the trouble was.

As for Raphael, the red banded Turtle chose to shun everyone's company. Leo knew that his brother was more than likely brooding in his room and quite possibly growing angrier by the minute. Never mind that his solitude was self-imposed, Raph would certainly assign blame elsewhere.

The one thing that Leonardo did not worry over was the conversation between his Father and Usagi. The samurai had said that he wanted to apologize to Master Splinter and Leo knew that would be all that Usagi would speak of.

With Usagi in their home, Leo was forced to delay making an effort to find out if his brothers had been experiencing the same types of feelings as he was. It was obvious to Leo the moment he stepped out of the portal that being away from them hadn't changed his reaction to their presence.

Leo decided that the delay might be a good thing after all; he really had no plan for how to address the issue. If this were a fight, he would know exactly what to do, but it wasn't. It was a matter that would have to be dealt with slowly and with great care, especially since he wasn't prepared to have Master Splinter know of his feelings for his brothers just yet.

To Leo's mind, it seemed that approaching Donatello first and discussing the changes that Leo was experiencing was the most logical beginning point. His only hope was that if Don didn't share those feelings, he wouldn't run away from Leo as he had done the night before. If Don were to at least stay and talk things through, it would be a greater help than Leo continuing to bear the burden of his desires alone.

When dinner was ready, Mikey yelled loudly for Raph to come and eat. Leo glanced up at his brother's door, waiting expectantly, but Raph didn't come out. Mikey shook his head and went into the kitchen, leaving Leo to stare at the door alone.

Leo would have loved to march upstairs and into Raph's room so he could ask his brother what his problem was. He had the feeling that was exactly what Raph was waiting for; the fuse on his temper had been slowly burning throughout the day and Leo was the catalyst that allowed it to explode.

Raph had to have that outlet; he couldn't release the built up anger and frustration alone. Even beating his punching bag only relieved a small measure of the rage that sometimes filled his body. Mikey understood; whenever Raph was starting to get mad, the youngest would goad and tease the hot head until Raph finally went after him.

It was times like this though when Leo had to step in. If Mikey didn't, or couldn't, catch the anger before it got to the critical stage, then the only member of the family who could help Raph was Leo. He would say all of the things that Raph knew he needed to hear but still resented, and then Raph would blow up.

Once the storm passed, usually after a physical altercation between the two, Raph would be back to normal. Occasionally he even apologized.

Leo couldn't do anything about Raph tonight; not with Usagi visiting. He could not afford to have Usagi see this very personal dance between the two brothers; it was a form of intimacy that was not for outside consumption.

The conversation at dinner was monopolized by Mikey's questions about the adventures Leo and Usagi had experienced. Leo tried to play down most of what had occurred, specifically leaving out details regarding the lives that were lost. Usagi as well avoided speaking of death, but he did dwell on Leo's various roles in their campaign, pointing out how highly respected the Turtle was by Lord Noriyuki and his army.

Leo wished that Usagi wouldn't play that up quite so much. He found it a little embarrassing, although the looks of admiration his brothers shot in his direction made Leo feel warm all over.

Raph never put in an appearance and when the table was cleared, Mikey put the leftovers in a container and placed them in the refrigerator, on the front edge of one of the shelves.

Never had a day felt quite as long as that one had and Leo found that he was wearier from the mental stress than from a hard fought physical battle. He had spent the day trying to avoid being alone with Usagi, but he'd also had to do the same with his brothers. The worry that Master Splinter would at any moment ask him why his nervousness seemed to have reappeared added to the stress, as did Raph's self-imposed exile.

When Leo said goodnight to everyone, he thought he saw Usagi stiffen, but he didn't wait to find out if the samurai would try to stop him. Leo knew that Usagi had come back with him to do more than apologize to Master Splinter; the ronin was enough of a campaigner to want to make another attempt at changing Leo's mind. Leo was determined that Usagi not have that opportunity.

Hours passed and when Leonardo looked at his clock he saw that it was after midnight. Leo couldn't sleep. He had tried meditation to calm his mind and had also done some light stretching exercises, all to no avail. Opening his door, he took a quick look around the lair and found that everyone had retired for the night.

He was a ghost as he drifted out into the lair, making his way into the dojo without the slightest sound. It had been a while since Leo had cleaned the sheaths that housed his katanas and he knew that dried blood and other material adhered to the inside. The ritual of cleansing them and also his swords usually worked to soothe his nerves.

Leo had barely begun when a sound from the doorway drew his attention. Turning his head, he saw Usagi standing there.

TBC…..


	16. Part 16 Final

Fighting Desire  
part 16 Final

"I didn't think I made enough noise to waken anyone," Leo said, hiding his consternation.

Usagi moved into the room. "You did not, Leonardo-san. I know you well; when I observed your demeanor earlier, I knew there were many things on your mind and that you would not be able to sleep."

"Were you lying in wait for me?" Leo asked with a slight smile, hoping his attempt at humor would make light of the situation.

"Yes," Usagi said, his expression serious.

Raph lay in his hammock, his eyes open. He had been lightly dozing, but a sound had awakened him and he was listening for a repeat. For some unexplainable reason, the noise filled him with a vague concern and even though he didn't hear it again, he decided to investigate.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Raph saw light flickering inside the dojo. The only member of the family who ever went into the dojo so late and lit candles was Leo. Raph took a deep breath, trying to decide if he wanted to confront his brother, when he heard the sound of two voices.

Curious, Raph cautiously made his way to the open door, remaining to one side so that he wouldn't be visible to anyone. He'd recognized Leo's voice as he'd made his approach, though he didn't understand the words, but now he was close enough to hear Usagi's 'yes'.

Raph was more than a little pissed off that Leo had come home with Usagi in tow. He hadn't liked it when his brother had run off with the samurai and resented Usagi for coming back with Leo. Raph couldn't rationally explain why he felt that way; he had always liked and respected the ronin, but for some reason he was now mildly jealous of the relationship Leo had with Usagi.

Sliding up next to the door, Raph settled in to listen.

Leo could see by the look on Usagi's face that his friend was determined to press his appeal no matter how much the Turtle tried to avoid the issue. With a sigh, Leo set his cleaning materials aside and stood up.

"You shouldn't have done that, Usagi," Leo told him. "Not if you mean to bring up the subject we discussed at Lord Noriyuki's castle, or the admission you made to me earlier at the orphanage. Neither of those is debatable."

"That is quite possibly true," Usagi said as he drew closer. "But when one's heart is involved, it is difficult for it to accept an answer it does not want to hear."

"At what point will you accept my answer?" Leo asked. "When our friendship is irreparably harmed?"

Usagi shook his head. "I do not wish for that to happen and I will attempt to stop short of angering you. I also do not wish to take advantage of things I believe to be true, but perhaps talking to me about them will help you to see the impossibility of your situation."

Leo's heart was thumping in his chest but he made sure that Usagi did not see the dismay written on his face.

"What is it you think you know, Usagi?" Leo asked, his voice flat.

"I know that you desire your brothers," Usagi said with assurance.

Leo froze for a split second, recovering quickly, but he knew it wasn't fast enough. "I have never said anything to make you believe that."

"You try to hide your feelings, but certain actions give you away," Usagi said. "That is why you left your home to journey with me. These needs that you are trying to fight go against everything you understand to be proper. I understand now that you returned early in order to face your demons, but you have been unable to do so."

"Usagi, this is more complicated than that," Leo began.

"Of course it is, koibito," Usagi said as he proceeded to walk nearer, stopping just in front of Leo. "A physical attraction to one's own family members is frowned upon in your world and mine. I do not condemn your feelings because I understand them; it is difficult for warriors such as ourselves to find someone to whom we can relate on all levels."

Reaching out, Usagi placed a hand on Leo's shoulder as he continued. "Your hesitance in speaking to your family about this tells me that you have concerns, possibly insurmountable ones. You need not be burdened in that fashion. I can be everything you need and desire; we are alike, you and I. If you were to stay with me, you would avoid unnecessarily bringing chaos and confusion to your family."

What Usagi was saying to him was an echo of the fears Leo had been facing for several months. They had been overwhelming when Leo thought he was alone in them, but the connections he had experienced with his brothers as he traveled told Leo that what he desired was shared by his siblings.

"Offering me a physical outlet isn't enough," Leo said, trying to explain. "That isn't what I need. I need to share love with someone; a deeply spiritual connection that transcends bodily functions. I don't feel that with you."

"How can you know if you do not try, koibito?" Usagi asked, lifting a hand to Leo's other shoulder as he pressed against the Turtle.

"Don't call me that," Leo said, his voice catching as Usagi's warmth enveloped him. "I can't give you that."

"Let me help you experience what you do not know," Usagi insisted. "Let me be your teacher and your guide."

Leo's hands came up to grip Usagi's biceps as he tried to gently dislodge his friends grip. Instead of relinquishing his hold, Usagi slid his arms around Leo's shoulders, his mouth inches from Leo's.

"Usagi, no," Leo said, pushing a little harder.

"Please, Leonardo," Usagi whispered, his voice husky. "Please let me show you how to love."

Leo looked into dark eyes full of intent and knew he was going to have to use force to make Usagi understand. Before he had a chance to do anything, a sound from the doorway stopped them both.

"No means no, samurai," Raph growled harshly as he dashed across the room towards the pair.

Raph's intent was crystal clear. His big fists were tight knots of white knuckled fury and his eyes were blazing.

"Raph, stop!" Leo yelled, pulling out of Usagi's grasp and darting between Raph and his intended target.

When Raph tried to sidestep him, Leo spun to match his move and his brother slammed into Leo's chest. Grabbing Raph's arms quickly, Leo hung on as his brother tried to shake him loose.

"Let go, Leo," Raph snarled, his eyes locked on Usagi. "He thinks he's just gonna waltz in here and steal ya' away from us? Ya' tell him no and he keeps on trying ta . . . ta . . . ."

Raph's voice fizzled out as a little piece of his mind applied the brakes to his tongue. Panting harshly, his eyes came down to Leo's, allowing his older brother a glimpse of the pain and confusion inside of them.

"You are not going to attack Usagi," Leo told him gruffly. "Our conversation was private. He isn't 'stealing me away' and since you deemed it appropriate to eavesdrop, I'm certain you heard my answer. I was handling the situation without your help and I'll continue to do so. Stand down, Raphael."

"Fuck that!" Raph barked. "Ya' weren't handling anything; he was the one in control."

"No he was not," Leo said firmly. "Usagi and I are nothing more than friends and we won't ever be anything more. I promise you, Raph. Do you hear me? I promise. Now _stand down."_

The last words were issued in Leo's command voice and as angry as Raph was, he knew he had to do what Leo said. The rigidity left his limbs and he stopped pushing against Leo, who released him and stepped back.

Turning to face Usagi, Leo said, "I'm sorry that happened."

Usagi's eyes flicked over to Raph and then back to Leo. "As am I. I apologize to both of you; my actions were inappropriate. It would be best if I were to leave now, I have caused enough discord in your family."

Without waiting for a response, Usagi walked past the two brothers and made his way upstairs to Don's room.

Leo waited a few minutes, his head down as he sorted through his emotions. The one thing he knew with certainty was that he couldn't just let Usagi leave on a note of violence.

As he started out of the room, Raph grabbed his arm.

"Where the hell are ya' going?" Raph demanded.

Leo shook his hand off. "I'm going to try and repair the damage between my friend and I. It would be wrong to let him leave like this."

"It'd be wrong for ya' ta lead him on anymore," Raph said.

"I didn't 'lead him on' in the first place," Leo snapped. With an angry glare, he strode past Raph and raced upstairs.

Usagi was pulling his pack on when Leo entered the room.

"Leonardo-san, do not try to dissuade me from leaving," Usagi said quickly. "We both know that is the best thing."

Leo pressed his lips together, feeling the pain of loss acutely. "Yes, it probably is. This isn't what I wanted, Usagi. I had hoped to avoid hurting you."

"This is not your fault, my friend," Usagi told him. "You did not ask me to have these feelings for you, nor did you encourage them in any way. It is the vagaries of the heart that have placed us in this situation. I care for you, but you have feelings for another. From what I have seen, I believe those feelings are reciprocated. Let us speak of it no more. Would you aid me in opening the portal?"

"Yes, of course." Leo wanted to say more, but he couldn't think of any words that would lessen Usagi's suffering.

Downstairs they drew the symbols for the portal on a wall and together chanted the words that opened it. When the swirling blue light presented itself, Usagi walked right up to it, but before stepping through, he looked back at Leonardo.

"I am still your greatest friend, Leonardo-san," Usagi said. "If you should ever need me, for any reason, do not hesitate to call on me."

Leo managed a smile. "The same holds true for me, Usagi. Journey well."

In the next moment, Usagi was gone, the portal closing behind him. Leo stared at the wall for several long minutes before he drew a deep breath and turned around to see Raph standing in the door to the dojo.

Squaring his shoulders, Leo walked towards his brother, who backed into the room and waited.

"Go ahead and bitch at me," Raph said in a raspy voice as Leo came through the doorway.

"I don't want to do that," Leo said, exasperated. "I don't know what's going on in your head, Raph. You resent my leaving, you resent my being here, you resent Usagi's presence, and you seem to resent everything I did while I was gone."

"Is that what got ya' so fired up over Usagi?" Raph asked. "Ya' go off with him ta play leader and love the accolades so much ya' let him whisper sweet nothings in your ear? Well just 'cause they need a hero don't mean we're gonna let go of a brother."

"There was never any chance of my staying with him," Leo all but shouted. "Why can't you for once trust what I say? You shouldn't have interfered; I don't have feelings for Usagi and I didn't want to stay with him. All I could think about while I was gone was home and you guys."

"Why?" Raph marched towards him, his glare never wavering. "If we were on your mind so much, why the fuck didn't ya' just stay here and let us help ya'? How come ya' needed ta run away from us?"

"I wasn't running away from you," Leo said. "I was running away from me."

"Tell me why before I smash your face in," Raph snarled. "I'm sick and tired of this shit, Leo."

Leo shook his head. "It's too much right now, Raph. There's no way I can talk to you when you're like this."

With a lunge, Raph came at Leo, whose hands lifted automatically. Raph brushed them aside as he darted between Leo's outstretched arms, gripping his brother's biceps and smashing their plastrons together.

In the same fluid movement, Raph's mouth was covering Leo's, his lips burning as hotly as his eyes. For a split second, Leo was completely immobile, then he lowered his hands to grasp the sides of Raph's carapace as he pulled the hot head closer.

The kiss lasted an eternity; seeming to stop time. The kiss was a flash fire; so quick the flames consumed them. The kiss was all of those things as they pushed and pulled at one another, both simultaneously offering to deepen it. Neither knew what they were doing; pure instinct guided them through the first hesitant steps in a dance that was almost as old as time.

They broke away from one another with a delirious gasp, panting heavily as they searched each other's eyes. It was Raph who managed the first words.

"Is this what ya' were running from?" Raph asked, his voice a deep caress of silk.

"Yes," Leo whispered, afraid that speaking louder would break the spell.

"Why?" Raph didn't relinquish his grip on his brother, but his head tilted down so that he could drown in Leo's amber gaze.

"I was afraid that you would hate me," Leo explained, the worry still evident on his face.

Raph's fierce expression softened. "I thought ya' was fearless."

Leo's eyes shimmered. "You gave me that title," he said. "Still mocking me?"

"You gonna keep taking yourself so damn seriously?" Raph countered.

"I think this thing is big enough to warrant some concern," Leo said. "Don't you?"

"Yeah, I do," Raph conceded. "Can this work?"

"I don't know," Leo answered truthfully. "It won't be easy. There are . . . difficulties that we'll have to overcome."

A corner of Raph's mouth twitched upwards. "Ain't that always how our life's been? Nothing comes easy, but with this, I don't think we got much choice."

"No, we don't," Leo agreed. "Every time I tried to fight it I couldn't find any sense of solid ground."

Raph chuckled. "Fuckin' Sun Tzu," he said lightly. "Desire ain't necessarily an invading force, Leo, even though it might feel like it is."

Leo nodded. "I think I know that now. I've come to realize I wasn't meant to fight it; that it was meant by fate to happen," he said. "We four are the sum total of our universe, and must therefore be everything to each other. A team, a family, four brothers . . . and lovers."

"All four?" Raph asked, searching Leo's eyes.

"Yes," Leo answered a bit breathlessly. "Don't you feel that too?"

"I have been," Raph said. "I think Don and Mikey have; at least I hope so 'cause nothing else explains their strange behavior."

It was Leo's turn to laugh. "You're one to talk. Will you always respond with anger to everything you can't control?"

"It's worked for me up to now, don't know why I should stop," Raph joked. "Ya' always gonna work so hard ta frustrate the living shell out of me?"

"I'm not going to change who I am because of this," Leo said seriously. "I'm not going to play favorites or do less than my best, even if that aggravates you. I'll say the same to Don and Mike."

"Good." Raph released his brother. As they stepped apart, he said, "I ain't broached this with either of them even though I wanted ta. I figured that's your place, oh fearless one."

Out of curiosity, Leo asked, "Before I left and this all came to a head, which of us would you have approached first, given the option?"

"Aw, shell, that's easy. It would have been ya'," Raph said. "I knew you'd either tell me why it was wrong, or you'd tell me it was right and figure out a plan ta make it work. Either way I wasn't gonna need ta worry about getting laughed at or talked down ta like I only had half a brain. Same question back at ya'."

"Actually, I was planning on talking to Don after Usagi left," Leo told him. "You were so angry at me that I didn't think we could have a conversation; I figured it would turn into a brawl. I was sure that Don would hear me out and keep everything I said in confidence, even if he decided I was twisted and in need of therapy. Does that bother you?"

"Nah." Raph dismissed it with a wave of his hand. "We all have different personalities and make our choices based on 'em. That's how ya' are; ya' like ta have all of the facts and as much input as possible before deciding on a plan. Me, I jump in with both feet and worry about the consequences afterwards."

"Like when you attacked my mouth?" Leo said with a smile.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time," Raph said huskily. "Still seems like a good idea."

Leo eyed him for a moment and then moved back up against Raph, placing his hands on either side of his brother's broad neck. Raph lifted his hands to cup Leo's elbows and lowered his mouth to accommodate the four inch difference in their heights.

This time Leo instigated their kiss, the touch of his lips gentle and exploratory. They took the time to savor this second kiss and when they parted it was with a sigh of contentment.

The desire in Raph's eyes was mirrored exactly in Leo's, but the clan leader reluctantly stepped back to put distance between them.

"You know that we need to go slow, don't you Raph? This is about building something that is deep and meaningful before it can be about . . . sex," Leo said, the word puffing out of his mouth in an excited exhale.

"But ya' been thinking about it, ain't ya' Leo?" Raph asked with a knowing smirk.

"Of course I have," Leo answered. "If that's all I wanted though, I could have gotten it from . . . ." He let the sentence trail off as he glanced towards where the portal had been.

"Rub it in," Raph said with a small growl. "Ya' know I heard everything he said, don't ya'? Guess what I would've done ta that rabbit if he'd managed ta talk ya' into staying on his world with him? Just so we're clear, ya' ain't ever gonna belong ta anyone else."

"You hadn't anything to worry about, Raphael," Leo assured him. "I can't think of him that way. You're the only one who excites me in that manner."

"Keep talking like that and I'm gonna forget ya' wanna go slow," Raph said with a twisted grin. "Come on, let's go ta bed; I'm sleeping with ya' tonight."

Leo's head jerked up. "What?"

"Ya' heard me. We're gonna do like we did when we were kids and share a bed. Remember that? How we'd lay there next ta each other while Mikey and Don slept and just talk? We ain't gonna do anything; hell, ya' can put a line of pillows between us if it'll make ya' feel better," Raph said.

"I trust you," Leo said.

"Yeah? Well ta be on the safe side, ya' stay on your side and I'll stay on mine," Raph said, chuckling. The laugh faded and was replaced by a more somber tone. "I want us ta take off our masks and be Leo and Raph for a few hours, instead of Leader and Psycho. When we ain't wearing our masks, we don't get so mad at each other."

"That might actually be the best way to start working through this," Leo said gently. "And in the morning? What do we say about sleeping in the same room and Usagi's absence?"

"Usagi got worried about Lord Noriyuki 'cause Hebi's still on the loose," Raph said. "As for the other, we tell the truth, we decided ta stop fighting for a couple of hours and just talk. If Mikey and Don want ta over think that, let 'em. Master Splinter will be happy we found a solution that didn't involve him having ta step in and stop another of our fights."

Leo stared at his brother for a minute and then said, "I missed you."

"I . . . ." Raph stopped to clear the emotion from his throat. "I couldn't stop thinking about ya'. Felt like something was tearing a hole in my chest and I couldn't make the pain go away. I was an asshole ta Mikey and Don."

"You'll find a way to make it up to them," Leo said. "Don't be surprised if you find out they understood."

"Those two never stop surprising me, that's why I love 'em," Raph said, his mouth snapping shut as he realized what he'd said.

"I love them too," Leo admitted softly. "I also love you, Raphael."

"Shit," Raph said in a shaky voice, passing a hand across his forward. He cleared his throat again. "Come ta bed; I'm tired and I'm getting sappy."

"All right," Leo said. "Let me blow out the candles."

Raph waited at the door as Leo walked over to extinguish the candles he'd lit. When darkness took control of the dojo and the only way Raph knew his brother was approaching was by the sound of his footsteps, Raph said, "I love ya' too, Leo."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x

A year passed quickly for the Hamato clan. Those twelve months were by no means free of conflict; Leo and Raph were fundamentally still the same, as were their brothers. It was a year of promises and assurances, discovery and revelation.

One night almost exactly to the date when Leo had returned from his adventure with Usagi, the four brothers lay together in a pile of mattresses strewn across Mikey's floor.

Sated and half asleep, Leo turned his head to slowly survey his siblings. Don lay on his carapace; one arm stretched overhead, the other curved around Mikey. The youngest had molded his body against Don's side, his head comfortably pillowed on his brother's shoulder.

Every couple of minutes, Mikey's tail would swish in his sleep, the tip tickling Leo's thigh. Leo smiled contentedly at the feeling, eyelids growing heavier by the minute.

Leo squeezed the emerald green hand that held his and felt an answering squeeze. His head rolled towards the owner of that hand and his eyes met a pair of golden ones, the fire in them just as strong when Raph was half asleep as when he was driven nearly mad with lust and desire.

That look was so powerful that even a year later Leonardo wondered what had ever possessed him to try to fight it. Whatever it was, Leo was very happy to have lost that fight.

THE END


End file.
